What happens now? 14 girl sexually abused by stepfather?

Question

I wonder what is going to happen now. How and where can she seek help? Will the person that she turns to for help or couseling report the person who sexually abused her? If so, what will happen to this person? Will they take this girl away from her family even if she has been removed from the situation and her mother is a fantastic person?
Does the wife stay with this man after something happens like this? And they also have one other child together, a yr old boy.
Please only serious answers, this is not a joke.

Thanks everyone for the info....
Just more info... The girl is away from the home with her grandmother (in another state) Grandma is getting her some books and other resources that can help her. It is a known fact, because the mother "walked in" on the actual event occuring. The wife seems to think she can get help for both and make it ok? I just don't think this will happen!

Answer 1

I work with young people in conflict with the law and the sad truth is that many of these kids have also been victims of sexual abuse. It is my responsibility to advice my clients that if they do disclose any type of abuse then it is my responsibility to report it to the proper authorities. If this abuse occurred prior to age 16 then the Children's Aid Society would be notified and do an investigation. If abuse happened after 16 then the police in the jurisdiction of where the abuse took place have to be notified.

This girl of whom you speak has many options to seek out help. She can go to counselling, school authorities, child protection agencies, caring family members, neighbours, clergy, police, shelters etc. to report what has happened to her.

The abuser may be referred for counselling. He could also be removed from the family unit until investigation is completed. He may be charged and imprisoned, he may deny any or all of the allegations against him and try to blame the accuser.

The girl herself may be removed from the house if the authorities feel that she may be in danger. This removal would be for her own best safety issues, althought she may not view it as such at the time.

Her mother may believe her but be uncertain as to what to do with this situation as she wants to believe her daughter, but at the same time may find it difficult to think that her partner would abuse her innocent daughter. Mother may very well be a fantastic person and want only to bury the past and hid this part of their lives in the closet and not want the world to know it ever happened. Mom may feel that stepdad made a mistake and that he won't repeat it or abuse the male child; however, this too could prove to be a mistake.

I have dealt with similiar situations in the past and many of my clients have refused or wanted to refuse to lay charges or have an investigation as they did not want to be viewed as a rat. Some have also feared for not only their safety but that of their other family members as some abusers have made life threatening barbs to them. Some have said that they don't care about what has happened to them but they were worried about their younger siblings and feared it may happen to them also so they have reported it, a wise choice in my opinion. Some other vicitims have turned to either alcohol and/or drugs as a means of escaping this awful experience that has been done to them. Some have, majority actually, have turned to a life of crime as they feel connected to a group of peers that may become to feel like a family to them.

My suggestion for this 14 year old girl would be that she seek out some type of professional help immediately. That she report the perpetrator to the authorities and have a proper investigation completed. That she not accept any responsibility for these actions as she is the child here and her stepfather is suppose to be the adult, even if he has tried to make her feel responsible for any or all of it. That she share her experiences with others who may also be victims in the future and inform them that like herself she was once a victim but is now a survivor.

Best of luck to this little innocent 14 year old girl and I hope that she is able to make a wise choice and help herself, her sibling, her mother and the perpetrator seek help.

Answer 2

She should tell her mother or grandmother or a school counselor. Of course if she tells the person who did it is going to know who reported him. They won't take the girl away from her family. The Mother really needs to look and not think the girl is making it up. I have heard of some wives ignoring it because of the fear of being alone. The wife should not stay with the man, the mother should get away from him to protect her children. The man has serious issues that need to be addressed immediately. If no one helps I would go to the police. It is a crime what the father is doing. I wish her well.

Answer 3

The girl needs to seek help, call the local police department, a church, Child Protection Services, or talk to a school guidance counselor. There are many different avenues in which to report this, she needs to do it & do it NOW, with the option she feels the most comfortable with..

This kind of thing often takes years to overcome, and still remains with you for life. But, it can be dealt with.

Of course the person doing it needs to be reported - it is NOT okay to abuse someone - not ever...

No, the girl will not be taken away unless the mother out & out refuses to remove the man from the household. If that happens, child protection will most likely step in. IF the mother remains with this man, knowing that he's abused her daughter, she needs serious help (along with an as* whipping)...

It's not the girls fault, that's the most important thing to remember. One never asks to be abused...

Answer 4

The mother or adult that has learned of this needs to file a police report immediately. The detectives will spend a few days gathering evidence, and will arrest as long as they have burden of proof. Witness statements are key. The accused goes to jail, often recieves multiple mandatory minimum charges and what is left of the family will find their lives turned upside down. There are arraignments, more testimony, possible grand jury indictment. After that is the waiting game, wondering if the accused will choose to drag the whole family into a trial or if they will enter a plea bargain. You will be required to work with the D.A, detectives, the prosecuter, and be ready to be subpeanaed in a day's notice. It is an emotional, exhausting, and life altering ordeal, but it is our jobs as parents to do that. I can't imagine just 'pretending it didn't happen' and continuing life like that. The parents that do have no business having any dependants in their care.

Answer 5

Have a trusted adult take the girl to the police to report the abuse. The police will arrest the step father.

Child Protective Services will investigate the home life and assess the safety of the girl. If the mother insists on staying with her husband, the children (both the abused girl and the baby) will be removed from their home.

Answer 6

Well of course all of this info I am about to give you applies only to the US, so if you are outside of there then it would have to be checked within your local laws. First the girl needs to understand she is NOT at fault, not in the least. Secondly she needs to know it was not her fault. Then once that is well established she should seek out someone to talk to. If she discusses it with her doctor or a teacher from school or even a child abuse line, they are required by law to notify the police. I believe, and I may be wrong on this as it has not come up within our parish that I know of, but if she is Catholic and discusses it with her Priest and requests that he not call the police then I believe by Cannon Law he is forbidden to do so, so if she does not want toe police involved then this might be the best route to take. As for what happens to the guy, well if the cops are called in, he goes to jail, simple as that. He not only committed sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual assault on a minor, but he also engaged in predatory incest. All of these are jailable offenses in the US. AS for the mother staying with him, I would sincerely hope not. It is a mother's role in life to protect her children and to continue to place her children in harms way by staying with a person who would sexually assault a young girl is unconscionable. I really hope this information helps you.


Just my 2 cents worth.

Answer 7

First... they have to tell someone.

Second... they have to get therapy.

The mother may or may not leave the step-father. It's very complicated. However, not speaking up will make the situation even worse and cause the girl severe emotional damage.

She will probably not be taken from her mother, that is an extreme situation. The step-father may have to face criminal charges depending on the laws of that state.

Answer 8

you have to report it. What happened wasn't right and you or whoever it was doesn't deserve this to happen to them. just please tell someone you know and trust or hell just tell someone who can help you. if you need to talk my email address and instant messenger address is posted, but please get some kind of help because if you don't stop it, it could happen again and again, and not just to you!

Answer 9

Tell someone you who really trust . And who's a audlt. They'll listean and help you.

Answer 10

she need to tell her mom and they should stay away for that man don;t be scared everything is going fine