I have always been kind of a jealous, bitter person ever since I was little. I get jealous really easily, and at the moment I'm jealous of my friend who seems to get along very well with my boyfriend... and she always talks about being Italian and how she's so proud of it, but she doesn't speak italian, she was born here, her parents were born here, and its only on her mom's side of the family... so it really makes me angry that she's always boasting about it all the time and making generalizations (italians are strong, italians are beautiful, they eat mozarella sticks like this, etc etc).... what the hell can i do to stop being jealous/ aggravated with her?
2006-08-07 07:58:01 · 17 answers · asked by malintzin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
jealousy, envy, glutany.... they're all a choice we make. We are all who we choose to be. The decisions we make along the road make us who we are. Make the decision to not be jealous. In time you can choose to be who you want and be happier with yourself. It can be that simple if you choose.
2006-08-07 08:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by ryanlas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Understand you can't change or control people and then try to be content with yourself! Laugh it off when someone grates your nerves. Wanting to stop is a good step. You are the master of your mind, so everytime you think these thoughts, tell yourself to STOP and consider saying it audibly so that to do so would cause you pain or embarrassment. Also, promising to tell others, "I'm sorry that I feel this way, but I need to be honest with you. I know it is wrong and I'm not proud of it, I need help with my negativity, but I feel you are being very...." By being actively accountable for your feelings, you will begin to prioritize the things that truly matter and develop a better character for yourself. The first step is admitting you have a problem and that is how the hell you can stop hating your friend as well as others.
2006-08-07 15:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by shannonlilia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy and envy are two different things. They're close, but envy means that you wish you had something that someone else has (your boyfriend's full attention). Jealousy is when you feel negatively toward the person who has something you wish you had. Envy is natural and ok, jealousy is irrational.
It sounds like you feel inferior or inadequate around her, and that she wants you to think she is so confident.
Maybe she is and maybe she isn't. If she brags to you (you're good, but I'm better) then maybe she just WANTS to feel that way. Maybe she feels more powerful and superior to take your boyfriend's attention away from you....this would indicate SHE is jealous of YOU.
Best thing to do: Master a skill that doesn't involve her. A game, sport, craft, martial art, belly-dancing lessons, musical instrument, etc). be good at something without her help, and something you can be proud of yourself for. This will reroute your focus on YOUR redeeming qualities. You have so many, but you are too busy focusing on others, you forget about yours. If you focus on your good stuff, others will, too.
Maybe she just brings up the Italian thing because she wants to feel more special, exotic, cultural, artsy, etc. MAybe it makes her feel more secure about the amount of body hair she has....
And, if it makes you feel better, women with Italian descent will eventually have excessive body hair and facial hair......they will have to bleach, wax, and use more depilatory creams to stay smooth. (Don't be mean and tell her this, just keep it to yourself and get some satisfaction from it.)
People just act better than others when they want to be but don't feel like they are. It is so much easier to bring other people down to the level they think they are at, than to rise up to the level they think others are at. It looks like they are putting people down to boost themself up, but they are actually bringing others down so they won't feel too loneyl....
Hope this helps!
2006-08-07 15:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more comfortable and confident you become with yourself, the less jealous you are.
To be honest the problem is not her, it’s you and how you feel about yourself. If it wasn’t this “Italian” girl it will be someone else.
You need to find ways, hobbies, and interests to boost your own self-image.
Perhaps this link may help you on your way, good luck.
2006-08-07 15:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by Adriana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Act as if you're not listening to her at all and never let it show u're jealous.
And make sure you also av sumtin 2 discuss.
You can also try tellin her while ur BF's there dat she wasn't even born in Italy.
2006-08-07 15:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by Deejay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try looking at it like this- that is her personality-and just look good and I am sure your boyfriend will appreciate you more if you smile and just deal with it!!!! Maybe you can try to avoid her to a certain degree if she gets on your nerves too bad!!!
2006-08-07 15:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by wancarol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is just that yours. Don't be inviting your friends when you go out with your man. These should be special times
for him and you to go out and get to know one another better. Keep your friends out of your relationship. It will last longer.
2006-08-07 15:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by EVEI 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to stop being so jealous look in the mirror and tell your self how greater you are .
you don't have to be jealous of anything.
2006-08-07 15:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by torylee1992@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way you just have ignore her and find you some friends.
2006-08-07 15:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Butler ♥2 B♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard, im a jealous person too..but you wont catch it from me unless it really pisses me off..either that that i just stay quite and mad....
best thing..is to talk with your friend..sit her down,and throw it all in her face....
2006-08-07 15:05:04 · answer #10 · answered by Nope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋