Hey, I'm 16, truning 17 in october, and I've been with my boyfriend for almost two months. I know we haven't been together long, but we really care about each other, he always asks when i'm going to tell my mom about us. I told him that if we make it to a year i'll tell her when i graduate from HS, but he doesn't like the fact that we have to sneak around to hang out together.
I know how my mom is, she already said that i couldn't have a boyfriend until I go off to college. She would kill me and her trust in me would be damaged if I told her. I think it's best to keep it under wraps till i graduate. What do you guys think?
2006-08-07 07:50:15 · 12 answers · asked by Ai-Shiteru 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
And one more thing, he's 19,(she doesn't know he's 19). I told her he's a friend from school and she already finds it odd that i started talking to him out of no where
2006-08-07 08:01:00 · update #1
In response to sglmom, he doesn't want anything from me like sex and stuff, he just wants someone to be there for him and vice versa and I respect and love my mother more than anyone!
2006-08-07 09:11:00 · update #2
It depends on your relationship with your mom. I didn't tell my mom about my first boyfriend. We were together for almost a year and a half, and as it went on, it got harder and harder to keep it from my parents. I knew that there was no chance on Earth that they would be okay with it, but it was hard for me to hide it all the same. And my boyfriend understood that, and he didn't pressure me into telling her.
I suggest dropping subtle hints, not specifically about your boyfriend, just in general. Like, say things about dating and things, just to see what her reaction is. I tried the same thing, but it kind of backfired on me, and my mother freaked out. Something I never tried, but a friend of mine did, is pretending that he is just a friend, and hanging out with him, inviting him over (staying in the living room, because it's all too obvious otherwise), and introducing him to your parents in that sense. It'll make him feel better, knowing that your parents have met him. This worked well for my friend. Her parents warmed up to him, and she was able to eventually "drop the bomb" and tell them that they were going out. On the other hand, I know that the same strategy wouldn't have worked for me.
Knowing what you've said, I would suggest trying to keep it under wraps for as long as you can. Because no matter how much you care about each other, it has only been two months, and anything can happen. But don't lie straight out to your mom, because when she eventually finds out, she'll be even more upset. And let me warn you, it'll be hard when you do tell her. She'll be angry and she'll feel betrayed. Good luck!
2006-08-07 09:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by cookie_monster 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think you are fooling your mom by disrespecting her in this manner? You mom already suspects something, that you have already stated you are not telling her because you know the house rules she set means no boyfriend (for your protection -- I do the same for my teens), so her TRUST in you is already broken.
What is best for you to do now is to slow down with the boyfriend -- and the fact that he is NOT a minor -- and knows you are underage (by more than a year no less), and he is definitely at least 19 -- I would ask you this:
Is he using your for some reason? It is difficult for me to believe that he would be interested in you just as a boyfriend -- are you sure something else is not going on?
I would tell your mom right away. YOU need to show respect to the woman who has raised you and cared for you all these years, providing you with a safe home and what you have needed to grow up to be a 16 year old girl.
Then ... YOU need to apologize for breaking her rules -- SAFETY RULES no less. YOU should be chaperoned (at least) at that age when dating, and no couples date (just you two).
I will emphasize SAFETY -- that is clear. RESPECT your mother and keep that good relationship going. YES, your mom will be REALLY HURT and ANGRY at how you disrespected HER and the HOUSE Rules, and do NOT under any circumstances 'keep it under wraps until you graduate'.
2006-08-07 08:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think you should tell her because if she finds out through someone else then she'll never feel like she can trust you again. Though my advice is to tell a small lie & not admit that you're already together. Instead sit down with her and tell her that you two have been friends for like a year or so but your feelings are too strong to ignore them & you don't want to chance missing out on what could be the love of your life...just be very sincere & mature & of course mention that you don't want to jeopordize the close relationship that the two of you have because of a boy.
2006-08-07 08:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother of six kids! Four of them are girls and two of the four are teenagers. I can tell you honestly that my trust would be greatly broken if I had to find this out in any way other than hearing it from you! I think you should be open and honest with her. Having a boyfriend is part of being a teenage girl and growing up. It is natural! It is also a learning experience. Tell her!
2006-08-07 08:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should sit down with your mom and tell her about this guy. Just let her know how you feel about him. Let her know you arent going to let things get serious. You cant help your feelings, maybe she will understand if you take a mature approach to all of this. You dont want her finding out before you tell her! That would make her more angry.
2006-08-07 07:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by momma2jaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care for him you have to tell your mom,also as your parent she deserves to know the truth.If she found out some other way,you would be sure to lose her trust andit would make a lot more difficult than it should have been.If you explain it to her thoroughly,i'm sure she will understand,she might be shocked at first,but she will get over it.
2006-08-07 08:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just act like best friends. Tell your mom that you are only friends. Then when college starts you guys can get together. Would you rather lose your BF or your mom?
2006-08-07 07:55:52 · answer #7 · answered by strawberry fields 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to sound crazy but tell her hes gay,then she wont think anything.Then you can hang out together anytime you want.Then when she starts saying how nice and stuff he is then tell her.So by then she'll already like him.
2006-08-07 08:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u love Ur mom very much so pleas don't tell your mom anything about your bf keep everything secret.
2006-08-07 09:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by alltimeforyou2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your mom about him and tell her that you really like him and that you wish that she could let you have a boy friend and share how you feel
2006-08-07 08:33:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋