Okay....here is my situation, my one year old does NOT sleep through the night.?

Question

Here is the thing, I have broken one of the "textbook" parenting rules. I have rocked her to sleep since she was a newborn and now that is the only way she can fall asleep. Therefore, she wakes all throughout the night wanting to be rocked, or to nurse, or her pacifer. The longest she stays asleep at night is and hour in a half. I am SOOOOO tired!!! LOL I need to know how to teach her to fall asleep on her own. Does the "cry it out" method really work? How do I do it? Do I start at naptime or bedtime? Will it hurt her to cry for a long period of time? How many days will it take? Lots of questions, I know! I would appreciate any advice I can get. Mommy & baby are TIRED!!!! Please help!! Thanx!!!

Answer 1

Please DO NOT let her cry it out.

You HAVE NOT broken any rules or done anything wrong. You're responded to your daughter's needs. You've taught her that she can count on you when she needs you. It's NORMAL for a 12 month old to still wake at night and it is NORMAL for a 12 month old to still NEED to night nurse.

If she is literally waking every hour and a half, that's a bit much maybe. Have you tried nursing more frequently during the day to see if she will wake less to nurse at night? Sometimes increasing daytime nursings will make their nighttime needs less intense. Especially if you "cluster nurse" in the hours leading up to bedtime.

Have you tried cutting back on daytime naptime some?

Have you tried cosleeping with her?

Your baby will begin to comfort herself and to sleep for longer stretches at her own developmental pace. If your baby wants to nurse at night, it is because she DOES need this, whether it's because she is hungry or because she wants to be close to mom. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone (like walking or toilet training) that your baby will reach when she is ready to. Trying to force or coax baby to reach this before her time may result in other problems later on.

If you can try to take a more relaxed approach and trust that it will come in time, you'll see your baby eventually become a good sleeper. You'll be able to rest peacefully in your heart and mind knowing that she reached this in her own time when she felt secure enough to do so, not because he had no other choice but to quiet herself because no one would come.

Probably one of the main reasons that night-waking babies are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. We are bombarded with magazine articles and books that perpetuate the myth that babies should not have nighttime needs. Babies were designed to wake up often at night to feed and cuddle, and keep in mind that many adults wake during the night, too. If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear.

THAT SAID.....
waking every 1.5 hours may be a little extreme.

Remember that night waking in babies and young children is temporary! Children grow out of night waking, even when we do nothing to discourage it. This period of time will be a very tiny part of your child's years with you.

A child's internal timetable for sleeping through the night can vary greatly. Some parents are comfortable with letting the child lead when it comes to night weaning, but for others night nursing truly interferes with their quality of life. If night nursing is not working for you, then encourage changes while taking into account the needs of your child.

If you are needing more sleep, consider bringing her into bed with you. Or moving her into a "big bed" instead of a crib so you can lay down with her in her room to nurse.

Try transitioning from nursing her totally to sleep, to nursing her *almost* asleep; then to just really relaxed, and then eventually to no nursing at all to go to sleep. The process may take a long time, or it may not. If you'll start out taking it as gradually as you possibly can, it will probably work better and you'll avoid possible problems and frustrations for both you and your baby.

You might start by lying down with her in the bed she will sleep in for naps, or on the floor, etc. - wherever she will be sleeping.....it doesn't have to be a crib and might work better if it is somewhere you can lay down next to her. Your goal at this point it to get her comfortable enough and secure enough to go to sleep on her own.

After she is okay with nursing to sleep in this way, you might try nursing her till she's almost asleep; eyes closed, heavy breathing but not completely out. Then transition to nursing just till she is relaxed and settled from all the activity prior to the nursing session. When she has done well with you leaving after only nursing this long, then you can try to transition her to going to sleep entirely on her own if you really want. (But know that night nursing is still completely and totally OK and developmentally NORMAL at this age!) You might offer her a favorite toy, book, etc. Give her a kiss and a hug and tell her "night night" in a way that is upbeat and positive. Try to have naptime and bedtime at the same time every day with a routine that she can begin to recognize and expect. For example, have naptime every day after lunchtime or have bedtime every night after snack or bathtime. That way she knows what to expect. You might even remind her that naptime or bedtime are coming and talk excitedly about it. She is old enough to ask her what stuffed friends she would like to take to bed with her; talk about the place she will sleep, how neat it is, etc. Allow her to have the light on if she wishes or the door open or whatever she wants in the bed with her - don't fight her on the little things. (My middle daughter wanted to sleep with the weirdest, hardest toys when she was about 2 years old!)

Again, your goal is to get her to a comfortable enough place that she feels secure enough to go to sleep without nursing and by herself.

I hope this helps you to find a gentle solution!

Answer 2

Yes the cry it out method works but its not for everyone. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable doing it or not. Don't ask yourself if you think other people will think you a bad mother if you do. You're the mommy, you decide.

I had a similar problem with my first born. He was still nursing to go to sleep when I became pregnant again (he was 18 months at the time). He'd wake up three, four, sometimes five times a night and I was not getting any sleep. I was exhausted with being pregnant and caring for a toddler all day on top of it.

I started by telling him that I wasn't going to nurse him until the morning while I was nursing him to go to bed. My exact words were "no boob till morning". I was confidant that he understood all of these words and I think that helped. Then when he woke up I picked him up and told him no boob until morning over and over. Then I laid him down in his crib and told him the same thing until he feel asleep. The first night was BAD. Almost an hour before I made it back to bed. But he only woke up the one time. The next night wasn't as bad only fifteen mins. The third night when he woke up I went in there and told him no boob until morning once and he laid down and when back to sleep. After that when he woke up and started crying I gave hime 5 mins or so to settle down, and that usually worked. When it didn't I just went in there and settled him down with my mantra "no boob till morning". I consider myself lucky. I know that it can take a week or more before you could start to see any results.

Be consistant and don't give in. Giving in, even once and especially in the early stages, can be a big problem.

I think you can still rock to sleep, or at least rock to settle down for a while yet. But that too should go away eventullay.

I give you this link about different sleep methods. Make up your own mind on what you want to do and what you feel comfortable doing.

PS. I didn't fall into the same trap with my second child and he has been sleeping throught he night (or at least 8 hours straight) since six months. Plus anyone can put him to bed any where. Its a dream. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Answer 3

Yes, crying it out can hurt. See sources section below. It also doesn't work for every baby. There are babies who will keep crying until they drop of sheer exhaustion...then wake up half an hour whimpering and continue from there...and do this *all night long* for as long as you continue not giving her what she needs.

Parenting a baby rather than leaving her alone and refusing to meet her needs is *never* a mistake!! You are a good mother for helping her fall asleep instead of leaving her to scream. You are also teaching her the *right* way to fall asleep. Which is a better "lesson"--you calm down (by rocking or nursing), then drop gently off to sleep...or...you get into bed, get annoyed, then get angry, then get furious, and work yourself up into a screaming fit until you drop of sheer exhaustion? Which do you use more often?

Answer 4

My son was the same way. He didn't sleep through the night until 1 year old. My suggestion is to co-sleep. Some babies have a high-need temperament. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp . You didn't spoil your child by rocking her all the time in order to fall asleep. What you did was respond to her needs and you found that she only slept when you rocked her. This is instinctive parenting or attachment parenting. I know some people would huff their noses at co-sleeping but it has a lot of benefits, especially if you do have a high-need baby.

My son would wake up in the middle of the night and I would get up to give him his pacifier. But then it falls off and he cries again. It's exhausting. But when I co-slept, he woke up half the amount he used to. And sometimes he woke up just to see who was with him and puts his head back down to sleep. If you are willing, I suggest to give it a try.

I am highly against the cry out method because it goes against all your instinct as a mother. I know that it works for some parents, but it really backfires for some like me. I tried this one too out of sheer exhaustion. I let my son cry for 2 hours and nothing good came out of it. Instead, for 2 days he became super clingy. While previous to the cry out, I could put him down on the floor and I can be in the kitchen cooking...after the cry out, I couldn't even put him down on the floor to go to the bathroom.

Answer 5

There are several books out there.

1. The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby
Sleep Through the Night
2. Sleep Baby Sleep: An Incredibly Simple and Gentle Plan to
Get Your Baby and You Sleeping Through the Night
3. Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The
Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage (Mother
of All Solutions)

These are just a few....

Go to www.amazon.com and do a search on "baby sleep"

Sorry that I can't help more....I have never had this particular situation to deal with.

My 11 month old sleeps through the night unless he's sick.

Answer 6

here is what you do:put your baby in her bed, one that she can't just slide out of. say night-night and sit by her bed in a chair.
when she cries and stands up, lay her down and pat her on the back.
you will have to do this many times, maybe one time for each night you rocked her to sleep!
after she gets the point that you are not giving in (and don't!) she will lay down and stay there.
after she starts doing that, move your chair across the room and wait for her to get used to it.
then move your chair just outside her door and let her get used to that.
she will learn to comfort herself and know that you are not gone.
eventually she will lay down at bed time and sleep, but you HAVE to be consistent!

every time that you give in to her will make it harder for her to sleep on her own.

at one year she can go through the night without being nursed, so don't be afraid that she is starving or anything. it is the comfort that she is looking for since she doesn't know how to do it on her own.

it will take several days, so don't be discouraged! and yes, start at bedtime and then do it again at nap-time the next day!

Answer 7

I had/have the same problem. My solution is sleeping with them as let my body train theirs plus I didn't want them in my marital bed. My 4yr-old completely sleeps thru the night and has since she was 3. My 2yr sleeps at least 6hrs before he wakes or sleeps all night so my lttle sleeps with him will be over soon. In a way, I am going to miss it. I loved sleeping with them, and I didn't have to use cribs for long (though I put a security gate at their doors).

Answer 8

My Son is two on the thirtieth June and he infrequently sleeps each of ways for the period of the night. he's in his own room in a new child mattress and is going to mattress a similar time very night between 7pm and 8pm yet infrequently sleeps all night although we've tried some issues we come across paintings. earlier mattress I supply him a bottle of warmth milk with a small teaspoon of honey in and a biscuit for supper. i alter him immediantly earlier putting him in mattress and we've a lamp on the landing exterior his room which continues to be on all night. He has a dummy and a blanket for mattress, those are his comforters and we placed a disney movie on when I actual have settled him down. now and back if he's no longer too drained I examine him a narrative earlier the movie yet he is going to sleep with a movie on as this facilitates him to doze off. in view that falling into this recurring he looks to have settled a lot extra effective and could in basic terms awaken as quickly as possibly two times for his dummy. One I supply him this he genrally is going right now decrease back to sleep. proscribing the variety of e numbers he has with the aid of the day additionally facilitates and additionally attempting to no longer enable him nap for too long. unsure if any of this is proper on your situation yet with any luck this is of use to you.

Answer 9

Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It is one of the books out there that has a variety of techniques that can help in these situations. Good luck!!!!

Answer 10

You haven't broken any parenting rules. Look into attachment parenting and co-sleeping. It could be your answer.