She got involved with me after I had been married then divorced and we had great physical chemistry. She was smart, amazing, sexy and I wanted to marry her. The guy she was cheating on, meanwhile, was her live-in boyfriend who she had been dating for 10 years. She claimed her reason for cheating was because he couldn't function sexually due to an accident. For a year and a half, she screwed around on him with me...using the excuse: "I cheat on him out of physical need" (but claimed she was never going to leave him because she "loved him more than anything in the world.") Well, she also told me she loved me. So what was she doing? And if she needed sex so badly...why would she marry a guy who can't please her in bed? Am I supposed to assume b/c she married him that things suddenly got better? Or was she really just waiting for him to ask her to marry him? I'm confused and heartbroken because I was crazy about her. I loved her. If you If you find that sad, pls don't mock. It's the truth.
2006-08-07 07:46:17 · 16 answers · asked by brawnyirishguy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she needs help!!!!!!!!
2006-08-14 16:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-08-12 04:29:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I witness your situation in a friend of mine. He cheated her wife with the excuse that her wife didn't satisfy all his wishes,and of course, his lover did. It seems to me that the sexual factor is important in any couple relationship and if one of the parts did not find enough satisfaction, it's quite likely that this person will look for a way to "compensate" this lack of pleasure. Unfortunately, this compesation always include someone, athird party who would be the worst affected of all. My dear friend, you are "lover" and you started this affair knowing you were the second one, maybe you expected because of your role as a "pleasure-giver" you could have the chance of changing her feelings towards her boyfriend /husband. But , don't torture trying to understand why she married the guy, human behavior is not logical at all in many situations. One thing is that we are rational beings, and we can use reason in our daily life. However, we really are emotional beings, she could marry him for loyalty, compassion, to avoid hurt him more, many possible answers. The question here is what are you going to do? You're not the first or the last one in a triangle relationship. I don't know what feelings she could have toward you, but she decided to marry the other guy, didn't she? Her response was quite clear, I think. I'ts up to you to start a new period in your life. Stop asking why and forget her!! Unless you want to repeat the whole situation again!!! All the best and good luck.
2006-08-15 14:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Carlos I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are complicated aren't they?
It's not easy to say why someone would marry someone they cheated on but he must give her something you don't. And, I think for many people until the "ring is on the finger" it's not really cheating ...
I think she told you from the start that you were never going to end up together ... loved him more than anything in the world .... there is something to be said for the familiar. It is also certainly possible that she opted for a loving relationship over a sexual one.In general (not for ALL) for women the feeling part of the relationship must be combined with the sexual part. That may have been it.
My advice is to stop trying to figure out the whys and work on healing and moving forward with your life.
best wishes
cez
2006-08-07 15:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by cezzium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably know her better than any of us, you've been having sex with her for 1.5 years.
But what's the problem... is she saying that now you are more to her than just a bed buddy? People do grow found of each other through being with each other (that's why we're so guarded about our lovers having other sexual partners, we're afraid they'll grow attached to the other).
How do you feel about her? Have you known all along that she had a live-in boy friend? Did it ever concern you before? Do you love her? Do you think you could love her? Do you not love her, but just like sex with her? Was he a BF or a husband, you say both things? You were crazy about her, and now you're heartbroken, but it's not clear what happened to break your heart?
Oh wait, now I get it... she married him while she's sexing you, is that the situation?
Hey, maybe he gives her one set of things, and you give her another.... you ought to talk to her for the answers you seek.
2006-08-07 14:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's confused, she probably does love you and she loves him too. Whatever "accident" he had is probably why she married him. The guilt of leaving him was too much for her so she decided to go ahead and marry him, but she will cheat on him for the rest of her life. She'll be back.
2006-08-15 08:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't listen to her did you? She told you she was never going to leave him because she loved him. She needed a lover to meet her sexual needs, and you were the lucky guy. You fell in love with her, but she still loved him. I'm sure she loves you too, but not as much as the other man.
I'm sorry for your hurt. I hope you heal quickly.
2006-08-15 08:37:41 · answer #7 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he pressure her into it. But, I doubt that she ever loved you, she was probably testing her love for him. She's not worth at all. It will be hard to forget her, but you have to try, you fell in love, but she just used you. I hate people like that. I'm going through the same thing, but time will help you heal.
2006-08-07 14:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was just the trill of having sex and not getting caught outside of her relationship. She played you big time. She needed a spare just in case her relationship with this dude didn't work out.
2006-08-14 21:47:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got played for your dick some females just like to **** some other guy cause her man aint doing her the way she wants to be and you were doing it the way she wanted it you probley went deeper than he could go
2006-08-14 01:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women are weird like that...they make guys confused and they remain mysterious.....sometimes they defy logic just to confuse the guy...hell i don't think most guys understand women...sometimes women don't even understand women
2006-08-14 21:39:30 · answer #11 · answered by Yogaflame 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋