I Will be Meeting My Ex's Girlfriend...suggestions?

Question

My 10 year-old son has been spending a lot of time with my ex-husband' girlfriend. In fact, whenever my son is with my ex, they go over and pick her up, so that she is with my son a lot. It is because of this that I have expressed a wish to meet her. She has agreed. What is the best way to approach this meeting? Should I be polite but not too friendly? Has anyone been in this situation and could give me pointers, please? No kids or jokers answering, please--I want some serious, useful answers. Thank you.

Answer 1

Hunn, ive delt with the same thing. Just approach her and be friendly. If you broke it off, you should be happy that he has found another woman of his own kind. When you meet her just like be friends with her. That's what i did and now we are really good friends. But whatever you do, don't mention anything about your previous relationship with you ex-husband! She becomes flattered and there will be some frustration involved! Well hope all goes well! <3

Answer 2

Im going to be extremely serious with u.. i am a step mother, a mother who has children that has step parents, and im the daughter of a broken home so i have plenty expirence in this realm.. U need to take the higher road with this woman, u need to be civilized and friendly because she will feel like the 3rd wheel.. this is/was your family and she will feel like the outsider, and feel like shes stepping on your territory.. Now the important person here is your son.. and he does like her, so he needs your approval as well.. so the more you try to be civil and friendly with this woman the better off you and your son will be..as much as it may kill u inside , always take the high road..and realize that divorce is never easy on the child so the more he feels comfortable the better ajusted he will be.. and he feels very loyal to u .. because u are his mom, and no one can change that, so he needs u to be ok with this.. she could eventually become his step mother, and if so, he really needs for all 3 of you to get along .. U do need to have boundries though, and realize that she needs hers as well.. and respect those just as u will want her to respect yours.. the more mature u are about the situation the better it should go especially if she is a mature person herself.. no matter what, never let them see u sweat.. if u fall apart make sure its after they leave lol.. but keep reminding urself ur doing this for your son.. he's whats important here, and his emotional well being should be of the highest priority to u..
And no u probably shouldnt become "pals" makes things to ackward .. it brings u more into their personal life then what needs to be and them into ur personal life then what needs to be, which could probably cause problems down the road.. so be friendly just not "best friends" ..
Good luck, and as nervous as u may be in meeting her, remember, she is 10 times more nervous because she is new to the whole situation.. no matter how cool she may act know inside that she's a bundle of nerves.. and needs u to set the tone..

Answer 3

the fact that she felt the ought to conceal this plenty from you shows that she nevertheless has feeling for her ex, and the fact that he nags her means that the feelings are reciprocated. you need to sit down including your spouse and characteristic a severe communicate: how far do the feelings between the two certainly one of them circulate? Have they been having intercourse, too? Why did she sense the ought to shop this a secret? How often do they meet? Why won't be ready to he sparkling up issues on his own? all the questions which you're asking your self real now you need to ask her, and tell her which you anticipate straightforward solutions! If she will't provide you those solutions, then you definately ought to realize which you do no longer likely have a great marriage, and he or she could be incapable of committing totally to everyone.

Answer 4

Be the better person! You are the birth mother, by all means be polite. Feel free to do the twenty questions with her about herself and your son. Plus be observant of how she interacts with your son and your son with her. Be clear with her that you appreciate that she has a relationship with your son, but your main concern is the well fair and happiness for your son. Ask her to contact you if your ex isn't around with questions or overall chat about your son. This also an other way to keep tabs on your son and how she is handling things -Plus it's good to know everyone involved in your sons life. Just like with any teacher, babysitter or other family member.
Hang in there, as long as you have a good relationship with your son, you really don't have to be buddy-buddy with your ex's girlfriend to find out what is going on with her.

Side Note: Also make it clear to your son, that no one should make him call anyone Else "Mom" unless he wants to. I've made this clear to my son about all of this. He even tells me he isn't comfortable calling my ex's wife "mom" because he is made to. Plus with my finance, I've told my son that he is a friend and always be a friend, so when he feels comfortable calling him something more he can at that time.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Hmm... well i understand that you would be feeling a little threatened by this woman and might want to come off stern or " not too friendly," but lets face it, if your son likes her, why should you have anything against her right off the bat? I would give her a fair chance, be polite and friendly, try and see what your son and your ex husband see in her. That way you have a fair judgment of her character.

Answer 6

Just be yourself. Be polite, because you know they say kindness gets at people more than rudeness. So don't give your husbands girlfriend a reason to not like you, cause then it may be difficult to keep it relaxed whenever you see her or hear your son talk about her and whatnot. So be as friendly as you would to anybody else, and trust me you'll come out on top. If she tries to bring anything out of you that's negative just keep thinking of your son, or something that makes you happy and all will be fine. Good luck!

Answer 7

Your a grown woman, act like one. Your ex and you have been over. The fact that your son likes this woman is a good thing. No one is ever going to replace you as mom. At least you will know that she cares for your son and will not let harm come to him while in her and your ex's care. My ex husband has a new wife and my kids like her. I have always told them to be polite and listen to her. If they feel she is not doing them right , then they go to dad or me for help. Be the bigger person.

Answer 8

It will be most useful for you to be polite and honest. Overall, you must be confident & level in your emotions. Approach the situation w/ an open mind and like you're meeting a new friend, that will be the best thing for your son too.

Answer 9

the fact that she has agreed to meet you may mean she is a genuine person who cares for your son.it costs nothing to be polite and presents you as a person who has self respect and is a lady.approach it as you would meeting any new person.if you find you like her be friendlier it could make things easier for your son and for you.you don't have to be great friends but an amicable relationship is better then a nasty one.i took this action and while my ex's new partner and i will never be bosom friends we do enjoy a coffee and chat and i know that my children are safe and cared for but not taken over,good luck and go by your gut reaction.

Answer 10

i think that when meeting her you should be polite and try to be friendly too, because you don't want to come off as a *****. And if your son likes her and spends a lot of time with her she cant be that bad.