I had not been home in 4 years and my relatives had never met my husband.My mother has met my husband 4 other times before, and I think that she likes him. My mother called and asked me if I wanted to meet with more family, I was tired and I did not know what my plans were with my husband. So I said no. Two days later my mother calls my cell phone and asks to speak with my husband but refuses to tell me what about. After I gave the phone to him she asked him if he wanted to join her in meeting with the family. I have never felt so betrayed! Why did my mother do this?
2006-08-07 07:32:54 · 16 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They like to control everything. Some mothers move on once thier children grow up other put thier noses in everywhere just like my mother in-law!!!!
2006-08-07 07:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by R C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother of grown children, and a daughter of elderly parents, I would classify this misunderstanding(on a scale of 1-10; 10 being the most hurtful thing a person could do to you) as a class ONE (1) incident. Old sayings: choose your battles and "you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose". Don't make a mountain out of a molehill!
Your mom wanted your approval to "show off" her son-in-law. She must really love the guy to have to speak to him personally. I wouldn't be so totally offended by this maneuver. That just makes you look completely controlling. Just make sure you AND your husband always have a firm front on all of these "family" decisions. Then, even if Mom decides to bypass you, she finds the same answer.
Give Mom a break. This is probably an old trick of hers to get her way that always worked. Just be a little smarter and more forgiving next time. You can only feel betrayed by this if you CHOOSE to feel betrayed. I mean; come on, it's your Mom. You're beating yourself up for nothing, honey. Family first!
You will live alot longer by using the "hurt" scale; and save yourself a lot of grief and ulcers. Your life hasn't kicked in full gear yet! Save it for something that really will matter.
God Bless.
2006-08-07 14:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably wants you husband to meet the family make arrangements to meet them and things go smoothly do it again otherwise have a life with him. I think she wants to show off some to the family about her new son n law which is probably normal the way she went about it going behind you back was wrong she should have talked to you and explain why and just maybe she misses you. Anyways tell her how you feel and commincation shes your mother.
2006-08-07 14:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by wildrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you failed to mention why you are on the outs with them --- I guess your mom wanted her son-inlaw to be acquainted with the rest of the family since you didn't make any attempts to be more congenial.... why should you feel betrayed ? she wants the family to meet her son-inlaw and you never got back with her in a timely fashion --- you should of asked your husband when he got him(the evening your mom had called and ask him if he had any plans-- since your mom wanted him to meet the family) --- you didn't do that --- two days went by --- why is communication lacking on your part --- why hasn't the family met your husband - you stated you haven't been home in 4 years(you stated on another question you hadn't been home in 5 years)--- so it seems there's something amiss here --- solve the family problems and learn to communicate in a better way.....
2006-08-07 14:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe when you turned down the invitation to get together with the rest of your family, you hurt her feelings. maybe she was wanting to introduce your husband to everyone. you may be correct in saying that she likes him. and she could want to share him with the family. you should call your mother and get this straightened out before it becomes a big issue.
2006-08-07 14:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by luvbuggies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother probably did this because if your husband said yes you would have to go. It was only because she wanted you to come really badly but you are right it was a little rude
2006-08-07 14:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by beachboy92316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I looked at all of your questions that you've asked on this site, and I feel that you are part of your family's problems. You may want to consider getting mental help and stop trying to be the innocent victim...
2006-08-07 14:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i guess just go and have a word with your mother in this and you need to also talk to your husband....how can he do such a thing without your knowledge....see this is what is caleld communication gap,you guys are life partners for god sake and u''ll dont discuss things at home,whats going on?take sometime out for each other pls!!
2006-08-07 14:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants him to meet the other family members and she felt that since she got no cooperation from you, she'd ask him instead.
2006-08-07 14:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents do the weirdest things! I know I am one! It sound like your mother is trying to welcome and include him in the family. We all make mistakes! Try to move on and think of it in light of love!
Just because we get older, sometimes we aren't smarter!
2006-08-07 14:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋