Serious question.. Please only serious responces....?

Question

Is it normal to love your husband but hate him at the same time? I keep telling him I want a divorce, but when he agree's with me I can't do it because I love him... Please help I am tired of being miserable! I don't know what to do!

I am miserable because he is lazy, works as a pizza delivery place, we live with his parents, he is contented letting them support us and our 4 kids, he is a pot addict, there is no sex in this "marriage".... need I go on?

Answer 1

yes it is possible

did he hurt you in someway? this is usually how this occurs,

listen though, take the advice my ex mom in law gave me

You only have one life, live it and enjoy it, do not stay with someone that makes you continually unhappy.

so I divorced him.

he was a very immature person who completely neglected the bills, my needs and was not nice to my children, it was not hard for me to leave.

If you are finding it difficult to leave, try focusing on something negative about him that bothers you. does he watch porn? visit strip clubs? talk about other women incessantly? There is a reason you hate him, either talk it out and if he acts like its just "your" problem, then dump his ***, he has no respect for your feelings.


He is agreeing to a divorce, maybe you two have just reached the end of the road relationship-wise.

I wish you all the best, stay strong.

Answer 2

the problem here is NOT that u don't love him.... your love is keeping u with him thru all this crap. the problem is that he is not satisfying you in more ways than one.. mentally, emotionally, monetarily, and physically!! HOW CAN YOU live like that??? u have needs, wants, expectations.. if none of them are fulfilled, u are going to be sad, disappointed, and start looking for something better! it is natural! remember, the problem is not that if u loved him, u would stay with him..the problem is that if He loved You, he would do what he needed to make u satisfied! he doesn't realize what he has. he doesn't appreciate u, and he's satisfied w/ living w/ his parents, and being lazy. great for him, BAD for you. it's not selfish to need and want a wonderful husband who does all he can to make u happy..because u do all u can to support and love him!!! u need to talk to him. set boundaries. communicate what u expect from urself, from him, and from ur Marriage. if he doesn't try, then therapy or even divorce may be the next step. if he listens and validates ur feelings, and tries to do something about it, give him a chance. but dont' Settle. i know that as a woman who loves ur husband, u would stay in a Heartbeat w/ no qualms if he was not lazy, if he treated u right, if u felt he was doing his ALL to make u happy. even if he was a pizza guy, if he was satisfying u, u would never complain. but something is missing, and if u don't work on it together, it will never get better. relationships are two way; u can't do all the work, in fact if u do, u will get burned out and resent him. talk to him, find out what he thinks a marriage is. if it is not on the same page as u, u need to find someone who is on the same level of love, commitment, lifestyle, and expectations as you. it doesn't mean u don't love eachother..it just means u may not be right for each other...good luck.

Answer 3

why do you hate him.what do you want him to do.be that he is not,these are questions you need to ask yourself.try to remember what it was that first attracted you to each other and perhaps talk about them.maybe he is just as miserable as you.sit down together and if you cant discuss the problem,write each other a letter,explaining the things you like and the things that upset you.then read them and give each other 10 minutes to give a verbal answer,these are all methods that can help.but you may have to face the fact that you both need to move on if nothing can be resolved with a compromise,

Answer 4

I was in a love/hate relationship with my husband. (now ex husband) But he was abusive and always gone, never did anything with me and I was soooo miserable. I think you should get out. I am so much happier now without him. At first it was rough but with friends I got through it. Don't be miserable the rest of your life.

Answer 5

well,if you hate him to that extent of even seeking a divorce then i guess yes you should part ways cos the thing that you feel for him is not love,trust me on this,its not love at all.its just that you have got so use to him,having him around all the time,sharing so much with him and when u think about separation you are scared,you fear how life is gonna be when u wont see him all the time and when u wont have him at your fancy?

so think about it and think wise!!

Answer 6

Honey sometimes love just isnt enough...
Think about Ur children, think about the example they are getting.
Move U and Ur kids out on Ur own.
If he wants to move in with U then he'll have to go get some counseling.
U and UR children deserve more..

Answer 7

The question is why are you miserable......talk to you husband about how you feel..before rushing into an divorce, you may regret later

Answer 8

How could you love someone like that? He obviously doesn't love you, he doesn't take care of his family and shows utter lack of respect. I don't get what the question is...I have one for you...Why are you still there? Your going to raise your kids with someone who disrespects his wife and his parents? Good luck raising decent kids, they will do the same as they saw "Daddy" do.

Answer 9

I think the issue(s) are within you. You need some help figuring out what's going on inside of you.

- And stop using divorce as a threat, either do it or shot up!

Answer 10

Join the club girlfriend. I have been there and am getting through it. I think I may have some advice, but would rather not post it here, the situation is to complex and very serious. Email me. [e-mail]