Sometimes when he is in much contact whit her or whit his family he calls me by the name of his ex-wife.
2006-08-07 06:59:56 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Ouch - that hurts! Tell him it bothers you.
2006-08-07 07:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by viclyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much time was there between your relationship with him and his relationship with his ex? Often, we jump from one relationship into another not thinking about the consequences. One of the consequences are that your mate will often see things in his ex that he sees in you. Traits and mannerisms are probably very similar between you two. Obviously they are not negative as you both wouldn't be together if they were. I don't feel that there is any maliciousness behind any of it.
It is probably just that some of the things you do remind him of her and visa-versa. He probably calls his ex by your name occasionally too.
My solution is to put your hand on your hip, give him that look, and ask him, "Does it look like you are talking to her? Give him a smile. Walk over and lightly whack him on the head and call him a bone head, then kiss him and tell him you love him anyway..."
Or, something to that effect will work...
The point is to not make him feel he is a bad person for making mistakes, but a gentle reminder that he needs to pay attention to who he is talking to.
2006-08-07 07:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by gejepsen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the name slip happens every once in a while then it is not anything to be concerned about. It is like breaking an old habit since he and his family have been accustomed to a role you are filling in his life that was once held by another. I've done it to people and myself at times because I was so used to saying that other person's name, especially if they are still involved in some capacity in my family's or myselfs life such as having shared custody of children.
If though it is on a regular basis then you would need to ask your husband about it and bring it to his attention. Let him know how it affects you and such. When he makes the slip let him know about it at that moment as well. It will make him more aware of the name slip.
2006-08-07 07:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I should start call him like my ex-boyfriend ( or ex husband would be more cool ) . But is very important like your husband to know who the name is ... And much better if he knows that you loved him ( the ex ) ... And if he ask why then you have to explain that you really thought is a game because he is doing the same .
2006-08-07 07:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by Viviana DanielaD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably habit, especially if he has been around her, or thinking about her a lot (even if the thinking he's been doing is not positive thinking), it is the same thing when a mother calls her 2nd child by the 1st child's name, it doesn't mean that he wants her and not you, if he still wanted her she wouldn't be his ex-wife
2006-08-07 07:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kat__hleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone slips up now and again especially men. My husband has called me by his sister's name a couple of times when we're in the car and my father has called me by his sister's name when I really frustrate him. I usually make it a joke and laugh - Ha ha, you don't know who you're talking to? I know it probably hurts to be called by her name but if you kind of laugh it off each time, it will probably make it a little easier to deal with. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 07:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Susan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do that. I call my children by each other's names. They used to get upset about that but now that they are grown and have children of their own they have started doing the same thing. It is just something that people do. Don't let it upset you; It is just a matter of too many names rattling around in your brain.
2006-08-07 07:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by taurus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since he probably spent many years in situations involving her, he is naturally going to say her name during times that are similar. This is the problem with marrying someone that was married before.
2006-08-07 07:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he call u by her name when yall are arguing? bc if he does maybe he gets it mixed up bc of all the arguments they had when they were married (hence the EX part) i know when i get mad at the guy im dating sometimes i call him by an ex...
2006-08-07 07:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by jackaleen05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be looked at 2 ways.
It is wrong of him to do it, and he should be made aware that it hurts or bothers you.
If he's recently separated from her- it may soon go away.
Obviously her name is on his mind... Lets hope that only her name is and not her.
2006-08-07 07:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by ••Mott•• 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind, he was with her for a while. He became accustom to saying her name. I'm sure when he talks to her again, he gets back in the habit. Let him be. He'll get used to saying your name too.
2006-08-07 07:05:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋