My wife dosen't want sex and I do . What should I do???

Answer 1

Welcome to marriage. Unfortunately, most couple's sexual appetites do not match one hundred percent of the time. It's not that big of a deal unless it happens all the time. If she just had a baby it's very normal, if she is still pretty young it's also fairly normal. Most women hit a peak around the mid 30's to early 40's so just hang in there. Of course by that time, she'll be the one complaining on Yahoo Answers.

Answer 2

Unresolved resentment and/or anger is the single biggest reason why the marriage bed fizzles. Usually, she is working, taking care of the kids, distracted by too many things and feels just a little like she's juggling more than you. Does not matter if you think she is or not. Pay attention to her face. Stress or anxiety always shows, no matter how hard we smile and say it's nothing. You don't have to buy her roses and crap, just make sure you really see if she's just handling too much (for her right now) and if she is, just noticing and an offer of "hey, I'm here if you need me" or "Hey, remember, you're not trying to do this life on your own" and not adding pressure by concerning yourself with only your own needs, can go a long way. If she's your partner, isn't she more important? Especially if she is stressed and can't slow down enough to relax, sounds like you would be the one not doing your job.

Answer 3

There are several thoughts to this problem. First you must consider your "desired end-state", "loving caring wife that gives you good to great sex". That's pretty good right. Now depending on how you proceed you could end up with a wife that spreads her legs letting you hop on her while she checks out the dirt on the ceiling all whle she's hating you more and more each day.

So HOW you solve this is vitally important. One course of action (COA) is to go to counseling. At counseling you can explore why she has no sexual desire for you. She obviously had some while you were dating....so what has happened now? Patience is definately a virtue here. Again you don't want her checking out the ceiling...... another COA is to give her the "cash, ***, or grass ...nobody rides for free" speech or "they may not be handing out pushy like pie...but you ain't got the only one" speech. While this miught get her legs open it will not get to your desired end-state. She will learn to hate you.

So counseling is the chosen COA for your desired end-state. You must be aware that this could take some time to correct (it probably didn't overnight so it won't get corrected overnight). She might have been the victim of molestation or date rape (or regular rape) or something that has triggered her "I don't like sex feelings". You must prepare for a potentially long siege (learn to beat off in the interim), be patient for your actions here are going to remembered forever. Always remember, "Women forgive but they will never ever forget".
Check out the following website. It's a good website to look at for dealing with self esteem issues and their related problems. I feel that this is probably related to her self esteem so how or another.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 4

See if she will communicate why the distance is there and see if you and her can work it out or try a marriage counselor to see if something more deep is present.If she has kids then that is acceptable because they can take alot out of you physically and mentally,but if she has changed in her habits or schedule then there is a high chance something is going on.Also cheating will not fill the need it only adds to the pain you are hiding. The grass isn't any greener on the otherside because you still have to mow it and keep it up.

Answer 5

Talk to her about it. Even suggest going to a counselor. Otherwise you should seperate. And find someone who will satisfy you sexually.
WHY doesn't she want to have sex. Find out what's wrong with her? Maybe she doesn't feel like she's getting something from you and so she won't give you part of herself. Maybe she is having a medical sexual dysfunction problem and needs to get on medication. Maybe she is unhappy in the marriage, maybe she's cheating and getting it elsewhere. But not having a sex drive is a completely different issue than not wanting to sleep with YOU. Check with her whats going on. If you married her you should at least be able to talk to her.

Answer 6

if the two of you can not talk about this, then you should consider consoling~seriously~this type of thing can break a marriage or relationship~I know I have been there~just this past week we ended our two year relationship because of something like this~we (he) could not talk about this~and he wouldn't go to consoling~we are still trying to work on things~but I have moved out, and we are now 'dating' and living two and half hours away from each other~yeah~I don't for see this working out~but I guess when the word 'space' comes up~then you do what needs to be done to try to work on what you want~I wish you the best of luck and hope the two of you can work this out!! Seriously~consoling~remember sex is different for women~we are not that easily turned on~and stress never helps for men or women~

Answer 7

Clean the kitchen, fix her breakfast in bed, vacuum the house, buy her roses, sing her a song, write her a poem, clean the toilets, take out the trash, clean the laundry room, and the garage and mow the lawn, edge it, and brush her hair for her, and then do that every day for an entire month. She may change her mind about sex.

Answer 8

Better use your hand buddy with some porn films.But if she is caring enough don't even think of doing it with anybody else.You will get a lot but remember marriage is not all about it.Try to discuss and get to know the real reason.Care her more and make her relax when u are doing it.

Answer 9

Mr. Chivalry says, "Be a gentleman. Sit her down. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her you love her emotionally as well as physically. Tell her that you appreciate her body, and ask her if there's any reason she doesn't want to engage in physical love with you. Tell her that you're there to listen. Take what she says and apply it. Be there for her."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 10

try talking to her about it...maybe mention trying counseling.there has to be a reason.it could be mental or physical.you never know.....until you ask hun.sex is an important part of a relationship.good luck!!i hope you and your wife can work things out! :-)