I recently was chatting with men over the internet and it led to some infidelaties.My husband found out needless to say.We are still together but there is this huge wall between us now.We have talked about what happened and why it happened but he just can't seem to get past what I've done. I'm in counseling but he won't go.What can I do to try and break down this wall?
2006-08-07 05:56:10 · 7 answers · asked by crazy puppy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you guys are married. he needs to go to counseling with you to help you through his .the internet is adictive...youve taken a step to get help.was something missing to begin with in your marriage?it takes two to make a thing go right.if you cheated just to have some fun...its wrong .but he either has to forgive you or let go.
2006-08-07 06:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by spyprincess 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
You have to give him his own time to deal with this.
Don't be so dang impatient. For Pete's sake, woman, YOU CHEATED ON HIM. It may take years, or he may never be able to overcome it.
IF he is truly willing and able to get past it, it will all happen, but in time. This kind of thing doesn't ever go away.
Going to therapy isn't some magic cure all. Some people just don't dig telling strangers about their feelings. Don't pressure him. IF and/or when he is ever able to move forward, he will. If he can't find it within himself to get over this, then IT IS NOT HIS FAULT. This is the consequence (one of many) when you cheat on your spouse.
Good Luck!
2006-08-07 13:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately it really is up to him whether he wants to trust you again. If he is an insecure person more than likely will stay with the marriage as to not be alone. Trusting is key. If he is not able to get past that especially since he will not go to counseling it doesn't look like there is much you can do. It really is up to him.
2006-08-07 13:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by mackey208 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation only reversed and a little different. The trust issue is the same though. I have told him that it will take time to build the trust back and he has to prove himself to me for as long as it takes for me to feel trust again. Time, true interest, respect for him, humility on your part and he really should consider couples therapy. Men are the type that have to go in their caves and recover alone and it's hard for them to admit to a stranger (therapist) that they are deeply hurt. AND shame on you! Bad girl.
2006-08-07 13:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you met the men in person and did anything with them you would not want your husband to see on tape, then you clearly cheated and it's enitrely your mess to clean up.
If you're talking about "cyber," then the thing that will cure his woes is hundreds of private sessions with you and him engaging in activities you would not want shown on television.
2006-08-07 13:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't either. what you have to do is forgive even though you thought you haven't done anything wrong you just should. and forget the situtation and try to live your life one day at a time. and if still doesn't work out pray for healing ang god's devine wisdom.
2006-08-07 13:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by booplizer_08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough situation, and an unfortunate one at that.
the best advice i can give you is to stay faithful, and he will eventually trust you again.
trust is something you have to work for, so don't give up!
2006-08-07 13:02:38 · answer #7 · answered by right. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋