We lived together for 3 months, no date was set. The relationship was not called off because of another person involved. I was given a seperate cell phone, was called 20 times a day. Wanted to go with me on business trips. Would tell me that is what real love is..Does this mean I am not stable enough for a relationship on that level??? HELP!!!!
2006-08-07 05:32:52 · 20 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like he has control issues and perhaps jealousy or fear of separation issues... wither way its better that you're out of the relationship...
If it was jealousy or control issues they are the ones that lead to violence so feel good that you did the right thing. Nobody can tell you what love is, everyone experiencees in a different manner, and he was smothering you with him. Good job making that decision to leave.
2006-08-07 05:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
No. I don't think that it is wrong. Marriage is forever (well it should be, but technically its only forever for 50% of people now a days) if you have doubts than you should not move forward with it.
And it is NOT true that you are not stable enough for a relationship "on that level" she shouldn't have/need to follow you around all the time or need constant attention if thats not what you want. It is a question of compatibility. There is men and women who can talk to eachother every free minute, spend every moment together, she'll follow him everywhere he goes and they'll live happily ever after. There's also couples with seperate lives and they do their own thing, catch up when their schedules allow and live happily ever after. If you two just don't FIT like that and you can't come to a compromise than you are incompatible and really should NOT get married or you will both be miserable! She will sit at home festering about what you're doing on your business trip, calling you repeatedly, starting arguments, etc. You will be crowded with messages and constant mothering. Talk to her, tell her what you need from her, if you two can't compromise than you should back out. Things change, people change. If its not right now, getting hitched won't make it right.
Good luck.
2006-08-07 05:45:21 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong for calling off the relationship. You were smart. You know the kind of person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Don't let this guy convince you that someone has to be a certain way, and that's how "love works". His theory on what real love is, is not exactly what my definition of it is, but that's just my own opinion. If he is telling you this stuff now, wait until you get married, it will be worse. Don't do it ,honey, find someone else.
2006-08-07 05:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't make you a bad person or unstable. All this means is that you're not ready for marriage. There's nothing wrong with that. You did the right thing by backing out of the relationship. The immature thing would've been if you were having these feelings and got married anyway. You did the right thing. When you're truly ready for marriage, you'll know it within yourself.
2006-08-07 05:40:38 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah wait, slow down
This guy sounds extremely overprotective which would probably stem from an insecurity on his part. The guy probably thinks of you as a possession and not as a person and he sounds like a creep and a dangerous person.
People who try this hard to keep their SO from interacting with others may turn violent if you attempt to leave him. Be careful, do it in a public place, and DON'T BE ALONE WITH HIM.
This is a problem with him and not with you. Get out of this relationship before you get stuck in a marriage!
2006-08-07 05:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are all classic symptoms of an abusive person that will get worse after marriage. Real love is trust. Women are at risk when they break it off. Marriage is for a life time and you need to break it off before there are children to suffer.This makes you smart not bad or irresponsible.
2006-08-07 05:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to back out now before lawyers are needed. It sounds like you were VERY SMART and listening to your instincts. Who says that being in a relationship makes a person stable? Scott Peterson was in two relationships. Was he stable?
2006-08-07 05:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a responsible person. You may not be ready for that Level of relationship yet. 3 months is not a Long time. Stop while you are ahead before it turns into something that you may or may not regret later.
2006-08-07 05:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by sadtiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are second! Maybe you should do the Nancy Drew thing on your own and find out, but it doesn't sound like a good foundation for a marriage and you should probably investigate before you commit, weddings are more expensive than divorces lately. You are not wrong in wanting to back out. I always say go with my gut instinct.
2006-08-07 05:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by DispatchGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty stable to me. Real love is caring, respectful, tender, trusting, and not hurtful. That goes both ways. How we doing here with your situation? Does your relationship measure up in any way? Nope, it doesn't. Of course back out.
2006-08-07 05:40:22 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋