please help????

Question

hey just recently my b/f told me tht when he went on holiday with out youth gruop he had feelings for one of our friends he told me stright out i took it badly and he was in tears telling me he dint have feelings for her no more tht it was a phase but it still hurt me bad he said tht after the argument we had tht he rerliased how much he loved me and cares im still with him but im scared to love him more in case it happens again does evry reltionship go through this? ive been with him for nearly 8 months im 17 so is he please help thnx xx

Answer 1

You are entirely too young to worry like this. If he tells you this, he is probably lying! he seems to want to have it his way or no way. Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi there,
Feelings are not a phase, I am 23 and I can assure you more than likely your b/f lusted, ALL men lust, it is natural- however, a MAN can control thisd natural urge and realize that he has a beautiful woman at home, 8 months is not long, not at all and you are only 17 in 10 years you will be laughing about this- Just enjoy your life and if you chose to stay with him, go ahead but I want to keep it real with you and tell you that from what you said he is a jerk, what happens the next time he finds a friend/ stranger or anyone else attractive? this is not an urge this is ignorance! .

Answer 3

Baby girl first off you need not be getting all in love with anyone at this age mainly because you are young and learning how to live in your own skin. At this age boys are going to come and go like night and day. Most of the time all young boys are thinking about is sex and once they get it they ready to move on to the next girl. Date sweety but don't fall in love cause chances are your heart is going to get broken by these young boys and then you'll start to blame yourself when it's not your fault at all. Stay focus on school and in due time when you are older you will experience true love but for right now just enjoy being young and have fun.

Answer 4

Sweety, at least he told you. That is more than what other men or women can say. And the fact that he didn't cheat on you despite his feelings for the girl, says even more. Don't be scared to love him. Just let go!! Its the most fantastic feeling you can experience!! That i can guarantee you. And just remember; love and pain walks hand in hand. Without pain, you wouldn't be able to experience what true love is all about. Nothing beats lying in ones arms, letting go of everything around you. The whole world dissapearing in that moment.

Answer 5

You're too young to be worrying about his fidelity to you. Insist that he respect you, if he wants any kind of relationship with you. Take a break from him to let him know that he's hurt you badly, and you need your own time to consider how you feel about this whole thing. Get out and have some fun with others for a bit.
Life is to be enjoyed and not be full of worry. Take care....

Answer 6

You're 17 not in love. Finding the "one" doesn't happen at 17 very often. Did he cheat on you? At least he told you, he could have kept it from you or worse, acted on it. He seems to be a decent guy if he was willing to be honest with you.

If you don't think you can trust him, then break it off, there are plenty of fish in the sea, especially when you are 17.

Answer 7

No some relationships are better than others. If hes telling you this he may have feelings for both of you. He needs to choose. Give him some time to think and then accept his decision. Act like its no big deal. Men like a challenge. Dont appear desperate EVER,,, One week should be enough. If he gives her up then fine. If not, then move on and call it experience.

Answer 8

hmm...i think you're taking it a little seriously after 8 months. that being said...if he didnt actually DO anything with this other girl, i think you're probably ok. the thing is, men are territorial animals. it is possible for a man to be attracted to more than one woman at the same time. its not a crime for him to be attracted, and really, you cant fault him for that. its biology, and if you try to stop it, you'll be fighting a losing battle. i suggest that you talk it out with him, but realize that that wont stop it from happening again. he didnt have "feelings" for her, other than the tingly-in-the-pants feelings required by nature. he doesnt love her, he loves you, and he's trying to show you that. dont shut him out. let him back in.

Answer 9

If I were you I would give him another chance... because i know alot of my friends and I are with guys that we truly love and care about but there is this tiny part of us that cares about someone else... The feeling for the other person passes because we feel so strongly about the person we are with so if you have been with him for 8 months then if he wanted to go somewhere with someone else he would have... if you give him another chance then if it happens again then take action!

Answer 10

If everyone was as honest you would hear such feelings being expressed...its a matter of how far his feelings where acted upon that I would pass judgment on him.. it appears he learned a lesson from this and that could help this relationship in the long run if you feel he deserves a 2nd chance.

Answer 11

Young love...Was I like that?

Okay, first of all your both 17, you both still have a long life ahead of you why even worry about it happening again. If it does it just wasn't meant to be.