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Question

On friday night my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, things hadnt been going well for a while, but it was really upsetting and i am still hurting. We have agreed to live together no matter hard this is going to be for the short term, until I can find somewhwere else or he wants to go, but i cant help feeling he is rubbing my face in it slightly. last night he didnt come home at all, when he arrived at 8am this morning, he pretty much told me that he had stayed at a girls house. We broke on mutual terms and he told me that he would love me forever but we just dont work as a couple. i feel really replaced and quite hurt that he seems to be getting on with his life far quicker than i am with mine. I know what you must be thinking but he wasnt cheating on me while he was together and he only met this girl on friday night, by that time we had split up. can anyone give me any advice on what to do here please? Im finding it hard to cope.

Answer 1

If you split up on friday night, and later the same night he met someone else, then he's pretty heartless and doesn't really appear to give a **** about your feelings. You're better off without him. Try to find a place to stay as soon as possible, as still living together as friends will never work out. After what he's done to you, move on and find someone else who deserves you. He's totally in the wrong for what he's done.

Answer 2

I understand how difficult this situation must be, and living together can make it seem all the more difficult to move on, at first anyway. However, I do have one question: you say he says he will always love you, but then proceeds to spend the night with another woman the day you break up. Yes, he's single and can date whom he wants, but to rub it slightly in your face doesn't seem very loving. I mean, even on a friends level, would you do that to someone you care about??

I suggest that you get out of there as soon as possible. You're not going to be able to move on and get the breathing space you need unless you are away from him. I realise that this is often far easier said than done. But it really seems like the best option for you.

Hope you find happiness soon, in whatever form.

Answer 3

Maybe he was trying to hurt you. That he feels hurt by the break no matter how 'mutual' it is and wants to pay you back for the misery he feels - sometimes its the people we love the most who hurt us the most. Or maybe it is the only way he knows to ease the misery he feels now.

There is also a chance he went out, got drunk, made a mistake but can't take it back now.

If you have broken up then there is nothing you can do but I suspect that this 'break' could give you both a pause to think, he has said he loves you and always will, maybe you sohlud consider giving the relationship another chnace - maybe talk to Relate or some other relationship counsellor - you don't have to be married. Or try the book 'Relationship Rescue' that I have recommended elsewhere - it saved my relationship 6 years ago and might help you now.

Answer 4

That situation or living arrangements is way off~ Move out. Pack your stuff and bunk with friends if you can not go back home to moms or family~ And true indeed he may not of been cheating but the chick could of been lurking. And it would hurt my feelings too if my ex-man rolled and stayed out and we just broke up~ Well I am here to help not to make you feel sad, do not start to ask the questions of yourself was you worthy of his trust? How could he get over me so fast? Well with guys its different for some he seems to want to get this out of his system fast or maybe he does not want to send you mixed signals. Which could happened by staying under the same roof so he needed to add some distant or some extra drama on things to just to show you its over~ Do not trip, easier said than done~ But a guy likes a female to look weak and for us to keep begging him to stay~ So do not do that and we are always bigger we do not do that get involved with someone else until all loose ends are done. The chick he stayed over her house just look at it like this she is the rebound chick~ WE do not do rebounds. We play whole court~ So bump that, summer is about over get you a squeezable man now for the fall~ Move OUT~ No questions asked, just leave~ U do not owe him any explanations and it works the same way for him too, so if you dish it out be ready to take it~

Answer 5

You need time appart, Go and stay with a friend for a week or two or you'll only feel more depressed staying there with him. Don't even tell him you're going. He'll soon realise what he's missing and how he's been taking you for granted. And if it don't work out in the end forget him. Cause anyone who pulls the same night they split up after 2 YEARS is a d**k. Let me know how you get on....................and smile, it's not that bad.

Answer 6

I think you'd best walk away asap for your own sake. No matter how much you love him or are comitted this sort of behaviour will demean you. I had a male friend {not bf} and he started to do similar to me..rubbing my nose in it... even though I loved him as a brother I stopped seeing him because of his behaviour. When love turns it can become very spiteful. Find somewhere urgently and begin to heal, it'll take time but you'll win through, most ppl do. If you stay he'll just keep opening the wound!!

Answer 7

I think you should find somewhere else to stay. He doesnt love you and he doesnt care at all that is why he is hurting you deliberately. very selfish guy,be sure you will get someone sooner than later,rushing could get you regretting.There are many people waiting for true love,be sure you will meet one.
Spend more time with your family or loving friends.
All the best.

Answer 8

So he told you that he was not cheating on you before and you believed him. OK that's up to you. So forever was for two nights wow that's good for a man. He is the guilty one and he is trying to transfer his guilt onto you. Kick him out. Stand up for yourself and don't be a doormat. I was with my husband for 7 years i suffered really badly. He left me about 5 weeks ago, yesterday he admitted to being with another woman he says for 2 weeks or so. Yes i hurt like hell, but i won't let him see it. He is the B....strd.

Answer 9

He has probably been feeling like the relationship was gone for a while and tried to delay the break-up hoping things would improve. It is nice of him not to kick you out or leave you, but you need to tell him that it is breaking your heart the way he is acting. Just ask him to be respectful until one of you can move out.

Answer 10

I think the best thing to do would be to try to find somewhere else to live asap. It sounds like he made it a point to tell you where he was to upset you. That is not a good situation for you to be in in order to get over him.