Me and the father of my children are apart now. However, the thoughts of him in the arms of his previous lovers or whatever they may be doing is driving me nuts. I tried to shut them out but they keep coming back. So does the hurt. I know it is pointless to think about them but these thoughts come quite frequently especially at nights when I am alone before sleep and I hate it when it happens.
Anyone of you ever had these hurtful visuals and thoughts and how did you handle it to keep yourself sane?
Thank you.
2006-08-07 04:35:29 · 26 answers · asked by DiL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This just proves that you still love this guy. But loves is not enough. Evidently he does not love you if he is with someone else. The old saying that LOVE HURTS is Soooooooooo true. But you have to move on with your life, he seems to have. I know it is NOT going to be easy but you have to not only for yourself but for your kids.If you do not all it is going to do is eat away at your heart. Do not give this guy the satisfaction HE is not worth it. Trust me when I tell you this. Good luck to you and your kids. Remember men will come and go but your kids will always be there and LOVE YOU FOREVER.
2006-08-13 03:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by mammaw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'm actually married and I think about an ex-g/f a lot. It does hurt, but somehow you have to overcome and come to the realization that it's over and they're seeing other people so you probably should too. If that doesn't help, take up a hobby that will consume you like video gaming or maybe even another part time job; something that will keep your mind off those things. But maybe some of the people are right, therapy may be an answer. Good luck, with whatever you end up choosing.
2006-08-07 12:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by jokerscard692000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I know exactly where you are coming from. My ex husband was my first real love and I thought that we'd be together forever. He turned out to be a cheater who didn't let any grass grow under his feet. He never slowed his roll even during my lowest times. He was out enjoying himself with this or that woman. It was a big pill to swallow and it was humiliating. I know that he was sexing other women and it mad me mad as hell. I taught him so many things in the bedroom and he taught me some things as well. I was the first woman that he had ever gotten completely naked in front of and the first woman that he gave oral to. We were young and buck wild and we explored our sexual preferences very thoroughly. I knew that those other women were getting some serious sex. I just thought that we would only share ourselves with each other. I shed many tears. I spat many profane words. I had many angry, bitter days. Then I began to heal. I realized that I had to let go and let live. He was no longer my husband and I could not control anyone's actions other than my own. The nights were the worst times for me too. He would sneak into my dreams sometimes but that hasn't happened in a while. When my heart starts romanticizing our bad relationship, I think of all the hurt and pain that I experienced at his hands. I look at our daughter and think about how he chose to sacrifice his family to live another life and I say a prayer to keep me strong and at peace. Keep your head up. Stay prayerful. Eventually, it will get better. You are not alone. It is his loss.
2006-08-07 11:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling this way because you never had CLOSURE. You never knew why and never got an explanation nor an apology.
If your ex never ackowledged that he caused you pain, are never admitted it, then it would be hard for you to put an end to all of this, since there are obviously unresolved issues.
I have been there myself. I had to put my priorities straight and think about my son. I was always sad and always thinking about the "what ifs".... it was killing me. My son deserevs a happy mother that is looking forward for the future and not haunted by the past. So I said to myself and him... I forgive you for what you have done... then move on, You have to let go of everything, forgive so you can forget, it will make you feel much better.
Also, all my ex-thinking dissapeared when I found someone else. My bad memories where replaced by happy ones and I don't have time to think about the past anymore.
Today, I don;t really care and what he does with his life is none of my concern, and if anything, I pity him.
Good luck
2006-08-07 12:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really would like to help you with this my ex-wife cheated repeatedly. Those thoughts creep into my head today I cant figure them out the woman I ave been with since cannot tell why she did I am a caring loving hard working romantic.So to cut to the chase he is sewing his wild oats so to speak you should just be satisfied he is the past now look to the future> And Smile You Are The Better One :)
2006-08-07 11:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by dlwill76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found out that my ex was cheating on me when our children were one and 3 months old. The woman he cheated with knew both of us and she is B----!! This was in October of 04 and know they are married and she is pregnant(which by the way is why she cheated on her first husband, she didn't want to have the "family" life anymore, and then she cheated on that guy with my husband). It took a little while but the way that I feel now is what comes around goes around and there is nothing I can do about it at this point and time but to protect my girls. I know this is easier said then done but it will come to you.
2006-08-07 12:11:21 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never had that problem. I hated my ex so much I didn't care WHAT he did!
You may need to go see a therapist. It sounds to me like you're having some problems coming to resolution with the situation as it stands between you & him. Contact your family doctor and ask for a referral. Or call your county mental health office and get a referral that way. Good luck.
2006-08-07 11:41:10 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move on and do what best for you and your child and believe me and if you find someone better than him and you have life going. Later the father of that children soon will look at you what you have been doing without him... he will say this " I shouldn't have left my woman for other woman!"
You're smart and move on now.. if you don't and still think of him every day like that. Is that what you want? just moved on and prove him that you can do better or best without him and one of the days he will see and say damn... I blew this wonderful woman.
there a man better than him that would make you happy. If you chose not to be happy then that is your answer. but if you do want to be happy that is my answer for you. smiling.
2006-08-07 11:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its painful and hard you might need to seek therapy,and no it doesn't sound crazy,not at all, your hurt and yes i have gone through the same thing with my ex husband (and I'm not advising this to anyone)how i handled it was i put someone else in MY arms and that's how i keep myself sane! and i sleep a better too!
2006-08-13 14:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by G. kravitz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been through something similar. It takes time but it does get better.
Don't keep yourself in the house. Get out and do things with your children and with other people. Go out with anyone who asks you even if you are not attracted to him. We all could use more friends.
Good luck and God Bess you. It will get better with time.
2006-08-07 11:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋