we were divorced in 0ct. 2005, he had a girl friend, i was lost did'nt know what to do, we had been married 18 years and have 2 children, he was happy go lucky as long as I begged him to come home, but i got tired of being hurt time after time, I started dating fell deeply in love and got remarried, he also remarried, but he does nothing but lye to our children about me and my new husband, he is trying to turn my kids against me and is doing a very good job, our 17 year old only talks to me if she wants somthing our 8 year old, lies to me treats me like dirt, what should i do? He is not scared of our court system, contempt means nothing to him.
2006-08-07 04:29:36 · 5 answers · asked by kar e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This man really wants to make your life hell doesn't he. He's not happily married or he would not be doing this to you. Have you talked to his new wife? Maybe she can talk some sense into him. Then again she maybe part of the problem. Sounds to me like your husband is jealous that you aren't heartbroken and still waiting for him to come home. There is no easy solution here. Since he won't stop playing games with your children's mind, you could take him back to court. You would have to have proof, and show he's hurting the children mentally. This could be a good thing to begin with, but the kids might resent you even more. You are in one of those damn if you do-damn if you don't situation. The 17 year old is at that age, you are going to have to let her make the decision of who she believes, and if she chooses Daddy right now, please be there for her when she learns the truth. Your 8 year old son shouldn't be allowed to treat you like dirt. Punish him, take away priviledges...love him, but don't let him get by with such stuff. My Aunt's daughter thought Daddy was the greatest thing, and her Mother was the worst person on earth. That is till, she let her go with the greatest Dad on earth. It nearly killed my Aunt to let her go, and it just crushed her spirit. The daughter last about 5 weeks with her Father. She found out on her own, just what kind-of-a person he was. You are going to have to let them learn it on their own , in their own time, what he is. Be there to pick up the peices! Because they will be needing the one person who truely loves them. YOU! Be strong and put a sheild around your heart when they say ugly hurtful things, because they don't realize that it's all lies. Don't blame them, they are pawns in his sick mind games. He's going to end up a lonely old man one day, and it won't be anyone's fault but his own. You will have the love of your children, and lots and lots of grandbabies full of kisses and hugs for their Grandmother! God bless us all.............
2006-08-07 06:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry this very bad person has put you in this situation...have seen this happen before, never comes out good for anyone concerned. Take heart in that time wounds all heals...deeply. But as far as your children are concerned, I doubt they are going to change their opinion at this point. They have been played for fools, and are, in fact, fools. There may come a day when they will see him for what he is, but that is no guarantee that their opinion of you will change. Sorry to be so honest, but have seen this far too often. Your ex has set his own children up for failure in life, and that is where they are headed..he should be very proud of himself...why in the world did you stay married to him for so long???? Move on with your life..you have a good man now, make him your life. Good luck
2006-08-07 11:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say who the kids live with . . . what is the visitation arrangement? . . . all you can do is shower your kids with love and affection but with a firm hand too . . . DON'T let an 8 year old walk all over you . . . if need be, put the three of you in a group counseling session . . . there could be alot of annymosity that needs to be set free and then things can get better . . .
2006-08-07 11:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by wfgrg15001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lead by example. Don't let it get to you. Your children will see the truth in time. Just be the best mom you can be. But don't over do it. Treat them as you have always treated them. Good luck.
2006-08-07 11:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL YOUR CHILDREN EVERYTIME DAD DECIDES TO TALK ABOUT YOU IN A NEGATIVE WAY, TELL THE KIDS TO SAY, "IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY NEGATIVE ABOUT MY MOM DAD, TELL HER, NOT US, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT AND I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOU AND MOMS PROBLEMS...
2006-08-07 12:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋