She is my roomate! She has been with her bf for 8 years now and they are very serioulsy taking about getting married, BUT she is not engaged yet and she telle everyone she's married, and at home she has honeymoon books wedding books...Everyone looks at her latley like she's crazy! it's great to think about where you would go and what you would wear and all, but have your WHOLE wedding planned and tell everyone your married and your not even engaged! Her fiance says she's KILLING it for him. How do I approach this and try to talk to her????
2006-08-07 03:59:36 · 8 answers · asked by Princess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, it sounds like she's suffering from Bridezilla. Bride out of control...even though she's not exactly engaged - same symptoms. What I'd do, is tell her we need to talk. And then I'd tell her just about all the stuff you said...but more politely, but very to the point. Just don't tell her that her fiance told you what he said...because that'll it make it look wierd or give her room to suspect all kinds of things....like he doesn't trust her or else he would have told her that. So don't mention that part, rather tell her that she needs to talk to her boyfriend about this, and find out if it's bothering him, or else there may not be a future for them, because she really is out of control. Make sure to make it clear you still love her as a friend, and that you care about her, and that's why your telling her all of this. That way if she does get mad at you...you were definitely not the one out of line and she has no right to. But if you do it all politetly, let her know what's going on, and let her know that you're only doing it because you care about her, then she should be fine, and hopefully she gets the point. Well I hope this helps, take care!
2006-08-07 04:16:47 · answer #1 · answered by ------ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is really not for you to approach, it is between her and her fiance. If he would feel more comfortable with all 3 of you sitting down and talking then you can do that, just don't do it judge-mental, that would be counterproductive. Have her fiance express everything to her, as he expressed to you. If this is handled right there should be no problem. As far as her telling everyone she's already married, it is wrong, but if they are planning on getting married I do not see the point in having her go back and say she lied. I would let that be water under the bridge. Best of luck.
2006-08-07 11:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she should maybe put the "wedding paraphenelia" in her room, and look at it in private when she is alone. Have her fiancee tell her how he is feeling about it... that may help. Dreaming about the future is fine, but pressuring someone into thinking about marriage is not the right way to get someone to think about it. Ask her if she has ever thought about becoming a wedding planner, or coordinator! She may love the idea of a wedding, but the idea of a wedding is not what a healthy relationship is based on. Tell her not to be so serious, or she may scare her guy away... if she gets upset with you, ask her if she wants to find out that it scares him from you, or if she wants to find that out the hard way - when he breaks up with her!!! Weddings are only good if she is the right one for him, and vice versa. Relationships take time, and age. You need to be mature to understand what a wedding is - she is not Barbie, is she? Weddings are only perfect if they are both ready to talk about it.
2006-08-07 11:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by monarchfly7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may not be anything you can say to her to make her stop what she's doing. She's obviously really excited and I doubt anything is going to stop her. As a friend I would casually (and very non-judgemental) bring it up and explain to her that she's jumping the gun. I think her significant other is really the person that should approach her. He is the one that's being affected by this whole thing.
2006-08-07 11:07:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is HER fiance telling YOU that it's killing him? This is something they need to discuss with each other. Mind your own business.
2006-08-07 11:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit her down and tell her straight up everything! if she wants to argue, just tell her that that's how everyone feels, and she can take it or leave it, then walk away
2006-08-07 11:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by Echo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know maybe she should just chill out about the whole marriage thing.
2006-08-07 11:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to councelling, she sounds like she has an attention problem
2006-08-07 11:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋