My mum had an affair and i found out and so did my dad, my dad left and my mum owned up to my brother so now we all know.. the man she had an affair with comes round now and again i don't like him one bit and i've told my mother this, but she tells me don't be silly if you (mums) were in this situation would you still see this guy that you know your daughter doesn't like or dump him, so it'll make your daughter happy? i was just wondering/..
2006-08-07 03:51:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, that depends. Would you break up with someone you were in love with just because your mum doesn't like him? She may have just stayed with your dad until her kids were grown, and now believes it's her turn to be happy. I know it hurts, I've been there myself, but can't you try being supportive of her? As long as she's happy can't you be happy for her?
Edited to add: or would you rather have her be miserable to make YOU happy?
2006-08-07 03:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I'm not selfish. If you are still at home, then her first priority is her children. Children are a responsibility, and should be raised properly, not expected to just "deal with it" when a mother or father wants to find another mate. I think that's a very selfish act on your mother's part. However, if you are an adult, and living out of the home, and your mother has no other children at home, then she's pretty much free to do what she wants. Even if it is irresponsible and self-destructive, you have to at least try to be respectful. If you think the other guy is dangerous or not good to be around, then just don't visit her when he's over there. Hope this helps, and good luck.
2006-08-07 10:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could answer this a couple of ways. first are you grown up? if so well it's your mothers life she is a grown woman and it's between her and your dad.
second if you are still at home, well if you told her and she doesn't seem concerned about it, then go stay with your dad.
I know these thing are hard on the children. but your parents are the ones who have to sort it out. unfortunately the children will feel the effect of it as well. it's a sad situation.
I hope the best for you.
2006-08-07 12:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough question and i'm sorry that you are going through this but remember that its hard on your mum too you dont know all the things that might have made her do this maybe you should sit down and have a talk but be prepared and make a stand she should respect your wishes but at the same time she is an adult she might just need sometime to get use to the fact that your father left and might only be having the man you dislike around because shes lonely
2006-08-07 10:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by the ole ball and chain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,if for some reasons he really can't be accepted by my kids,I'd give him up.True enough,he's important to me and he'd make an addition to my happiness but not when it concerns the well-being of my children.I love my children a whole lot to even be selfish in taking my own happiness above theirs..losing their daddy is more than traumatic enough.I wouldn't allow my self to be the cause of their unhappiness.I couldn't bear just the thought alone but that's about me being the mom of my sons.
2006-08-07 11:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by cascadingrainbows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question is a bit tricky. I don't really have experience in this situation but I will do my best to answer it and I hope it helps. I would to give this man a chance. If he makes your mom happy and he isn't doing anything to harm you or your brother than the important thing to think about is that he makes your mom happy. Don't you think?
2006-08-07 10:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends on why my daughter didn't like him and how old she is. if my daughter was old enough to understand relationships, i would expect her to understand mine. what happened was very unfortunate. she should have ended one relationship before starting another. cheating in never acceptable.
but your mother has a right to be happy. i am sorry that you are in this position. have you talked to your father about everything?
do you understand what happened and why? that might help you to move forward as far as having some closure to your life as it once was. would it bother you if your father found some one different too?
2006-08-07 11:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by luvbuggies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont want to hurt you, but your mom is a sl ut and that man who has the nerve to come around is a homewrecker and a shameless piece of s h i t.
2006-08-07 10:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by Fowl Language 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him
2006-08-07 11:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Gothic Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋