How can you avoid argument's with your spouse, to prevent getting a divorce?

Question

Me and my husband have been married for two years now, and all we do is argue about small stupid stuff, it has really became annoying. I know that sometimes i start the arguement just by expressing myself or assumeing something wrong with him, but he has a problem with the way he talks to me, and he has a problem with yelling when he's talking to me. Sometimes im really ready to just leave because i feel like our relationship is immuture. What can i do???

Answer 1

how bout trying a counselor to see why you argue alot,its not a shame to do that.Or agree with him on somethings if you can and vise versa

Answer 2

seek counsel now. Obviously, you have a lot of passion in your relationship. Somewhere along the marriage has been skewed by unresolved issues, or someone's boundaries has been crossed one too many times, and all you need to do is refocus your lines of communication. This will not be too hard to clear up, if both parties see the need for help. So go see a counselor, get those feelings out in the open, yell, scream, cry, laugh, forgive each other for squabbling over petty issues, and have a great love affair again. This should be looked at as a chance to regain your love affair and the spark that obviously brought you two together.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

The most important word of your question you fail to spell right and that is immature. Yes, there is some growing up that need to be done.

What is all the arguing about and you say small stupid stuff not important issues and you are married and that is why we need to give future husband and wives serious counseling to show them what a marriage consist of.

Your not going to have all peaches and cream but I see countless people arguing about small stupid things and causing a deterioration in their marriage as a result.

What you need to do is try to grow up and mature more and find out exactly what you want out of your mate and if he's willing to give it because you don't need a marriage where all you do is fight in that case, you should have been a boxer so you can get paid for it .

Answer 4

Why did you get married if all you do is fight. In any relationship there is give and take. You both need to come together and find out what it is either of you really want. The honeymoon is over. It is tough to make a good relationship work. You were married and must have something together? Try to refind this and move forward with patience for each other (this is a two way deal).
Ultimately, some counseling in order here.....

Answer 5

Do not go this alone, both of you get counseling. The problem is not that you are not talking it is how you are communicating with one another. His raised voice causes you to react in an exxargerated manner. You knit pick and it makes him nuts. You assume he will act or feel a certain way and when he doesn't you guys fight. A good marriage counselor will really help you. If he is hesitant about going tell him that you love him and want to fix things before it is too late. I wish you two the best.

Answer 6

Marriage counseling helps. If you tell him the way you feel it could help. Marriage is a growing maturing changing relationship that constantly needs work. I had a huge fight with hubby years ago threw birth certificate in his face and said who is listed as father? See your not my father so don't yell at and belittle me I already had a father you are my husband. Have not had a problem since. Told him I wanted to end it do not like being treated that way and we got help. More in love now than the day we got married.

Answer 7

Sounds to me that you have to sit down with your husband and discuss what is going on. You need to open up to him and let him know what bothers you and for him to tell you what bothers him. A marriage counselor may be able to help you with this. Why not try to play games together, or do something that interest him. Sometimes also, instead of yelling back, just keep quiet or if it is really heating up take your leave. Proverbs say "no wood, no fire".

Answer 8

Learning how to argue properly is one of the hardest but most important things in a relationship. You need to establish together the rules of what is acceptable and what isn't. Another thing that helps to sit down and just get these small stupid things out of the way. Put them down on paper and deal with them one at a time so they won't be problems in the future.

Answer 9

Counseling.

They say the first 3 years are the hardest in a marriage. You want to be able to express yourself and be able to tell your spouse anything.

The next time he's talking in a loud tone...just say "Honey...I'm right here...let's not talk loud...let's just sit down and talk about this". I've been married for a long time now...and I'm lucky that we don't agrue much...we're so much alike that nothing bothers us.

If here is something that is bothering me...I'll say "Honey...you know...I need to tell you something without you getting mad". We say it and it's done and over with.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

First of all, don't give up. The first couple of years is very difficult. I've been married 3 years and believe me, the first 2 years were hell (because small insignificant things). We seek a counselor (a neutral person, neither friend or family) and it helped us A LOT. Also, pray. I always does good on you!

Answer 11

As soon as you feel to start arguing, stop that moment and ask yourself why you want to argue. your husband should do the same thing when he feels he is about to start yelling.
If you do, you'll find the answer whether you should stay together or not. Arguing or yelling is not the problem, you have to find out WHY it happens.
Good luck!