question about my family?

Question

I have a daughter that I do not have full time placement of. My wife has a son that does have her son fultime. Wehn my daughter comes my wife says I ignore them. I dont feel anything is wrong with taking my daughter and doing stuff without my wife and step son! When I am home I sit with my daughter and talk with her. My wife tries to talk to me and I tell her no, it is my time with my daughter. my wife gets upset that I tell her that. Example us 4 were swimming at her moms house. her son was jumping off int the deep end, My daughter and i started playing beach ball. he came and asked to play. Well I just ignored him and kept playing with my daughter. I feel when I have her that everyone else can wait. if I am doing something with her I dont like when my wife and her son try to but in. Am I worng to treat them this way? My wife feels she is 2nd best and that whatever my daughter wants I give to her. But she does not understand i only have her 3 times a week!

Answer 1

It is ok for you to have alone time with your daughter some, but you need to remember, it is a blended FAMILY. It isn't just yours and your daughters needs you need to think about. Your wife and stepson should be included. You should schedule some alone time with your daughter, but also family activities for all of you. It isn't right to cut them out when she is there. That will cause problems in your relationship with all of them. It will make your daughter feel like she is more special than they are and it will make them feel that they are only important to you when she is not around. Believe me, there are people who have their children a lot less than you do and still manage to bring the whole family together as a whole. You should enjoy all of them!

Answer 2

Yes, I feel you are wrong. You and your wife are a family, and that includes any children regardless of whether or not they are yours or how often you get to see them. Your behavior sends the message that you are not a family or that some family members are more important than others. This is harmful to your relationship to your wife and to your stepson. In the long run, it's not doing your daughter any good, either. How could she take your wife and stepson seriously as a family when you don't???

Answer 3

Sir....I am not yet married....(just 23 years old), but after reading your problem (and some of answers...) I do wish to tell yours actions were wrong.....sorry for saying so, but I am imagining myself in the role of your step son....and just feeling goose pimples even right now for the treatment you were giving that poor soul who was wishing to play with his daddy and daughter. Does it really matter to him whether you are giving ample time to your daughter or not ? Did he commit any crime asking some simple moments of swimming together.....No..... Your actions are making him bitter (I am afraid...) ....and this will surely lead your family towards such a place where nobody would feel love for each other....and consequences are clearly indicating in such environment. Though I am not saying whatever we read, see in movies or TV, would actually happen in such 'cracked relationship' families, but chances are really severe....
May be your lovely daughter have different opinion towards her step brother...may be she really wishes to have some great enjoyable and playful moments with her brother...but she will sense a kind of fear resulting from you rather stern approach. Its really immaterial whether you have only 3 times a week, but why don't you try to share these three valuable times among all?

Just try it.....roses are still blooming in garden and you cannot wish the petals are just for your daughter....try to have them for your son too....and you will have amazing results.

Please forgive me if my language is not what you wished for.

Answer 4

That is why blended families never seem to work. The Brady Bunch was complete crap.