My gf and I are together from the time I moved to US (2 years back) and my parents came to visit me in States recently. They met her & decided they didn't like her for her looks and her behavior. The first time I met her, we had gone to the club and my gf had a lot to drink (one time thing), but now she gave up drinking altogether without even me letting her. My sister knew about this and also about her past relationships and told my parents all about it. Now my parents don't like her at all after knowing all of this. I have been with her long enough that I know that drinking is not her habit, else I would not have been with her for this long. She has told me about her past from day one and I am ok with it. I can go off and get married to her, but they will hold her responsible for it too. I don't know how I can convince my parents as I want them to respect her, and our relationship.
2006-08-07 03:11:06 · 10 answers · asked by skagen.2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She was brought up in the states and has been here for 13 years, since she was 11.
2006-08-07 03:11:54 · update #1
Blood is thicker than mud. You need to decide how far you want to take the relationship and consider whether or not you want to live in constant animosity with your parents.
If this is a fling...HAVE FUN, but also make the girl aware of that.
If you see this as being more...you should wait as long as you can to see if your parents have misconceptions that can be resolved.
I know this is probably something you have never thought about but if you decide on marriage and you have relied on your parents your whole life, it will be nearly possible to have a successful one without their approval. If you cannot get their blessing it will cause heartaches and you need to decide if it is truly worth it.
2006-08-07 03:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by smutz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys seem to be on the right track so far. She has been honest with you from the start. That's a good thing. If you guys love one another and have a great relationship then other people's opinions shouldn't matter. It isn't right that your sister tried to sway your parent's opinion of your gf. I have learned the hard way that you should never involve your family in your personal relationship other than getting together for dinner on occassion. Whatever happens between the two of you try to work them out within yourselves. Good luck and congratulations!
2006-08-07 10:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation , but my boyfriend's whole family doesn't like me. And his mom is to blame. She goes around checking my background and making me sound like a bad person to the whole family so I guess the phrase one bad apple spoils the bunch. But you need to talk to your parents and make it clear that she is your decision and not theirs. They can like it, deal with it because they love you, or hate it. But your happiness comes first. If you wanna marry her I know some great spots to elope and get married. Don't worry about what they are gonna think because they are gonna realize that they don't wanna lose their son over something childish. They have no choice but to respect her, because if she keeps going through this it's only gonna push her away. You need to sit her down with your parents be a man and tell them how it's gonna be. My boyfriend let his mom tell me that i'm holding him back and I gotta go, she also told him that she ran a background check on me and he acted like it was fine. He acted like it was okay for his mom to say this. I'm still upset about his mother and family and I really wanted things to work out but I guess not. But do me and your girlfriend a favor and talk to your parents with her around. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 10:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by hnic_shannon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who will you be marrying, her or your family? If you love each other go ahead. If your parents love you they'll come to understand one day when they see how happy you are together. Don't be blackmailed by parents saying she's not good enough for you, only you can know that. Be happy
2006-08-07 10:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by cymbalita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your life. My in laws hate me and probably always will. I was raised in the States and am Chinese. My husband was raised in Australia and is also Chinese. His parents hate me because I am American and not traditional Chinese. They also have nothing to do with their two grandchildren because they are "American" children. Do what makes YOU happy. Parents should want their kids to be happy and if they don't, then that is their problem, don't let it be yours!
2006-08-07 10:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK if you love her go for it and later on your parents mitt forgive you but don;t let your love to go , try to talk to your parents and tell them that you can;t live without her and that you love her alot if still no approval that go without them
2006-08-07 10:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like both religion and family culture are both in play here. If I am right..you cannot do much. If you really love her and want to stay with her..marry her. Your family will learn to live with it. You cannot live your life always trying to please them. You cannot win that game.
2006-08-07 10:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by chief8166 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like your parents are trying to pick someone for you, be stern with your parents and tell them that this is the person you want to be with , and if they quit talking to you , well then they are not being supportive of you
2006-08-07 10:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by wanda h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if both of you are adults now and live alone or in usa, then i dont see anything wrong with that.
2006-08-07 10:18:52 · answer #9 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say them Know your source? List it here:
2006-08-07 10:18:33 · answer #10 · answered by pritam_hii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋