I've been married nearly a year and we have a good relationship. I still have an ex that if I contacted him just to say hi and ask how he's doing, he would email me back. I don't want anything from him, don't want to cheat on my hubby or anything like that, but I merely wish to say hello and see what's new. Is this wrong? Should I do this or not? It would only be in email and maybe a couple of replies. I wouldn't be meeting up with him for drinks or anything like that.
2006-08-07 02:50:45 · 20 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all the answers....no, I wouldn't tell my husband about it because he would be so pissed off and angry - he's Greek and they're protective guys :) So NO I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS. Yes, it is a stupid question...and actually, I don't think my ex is over me - he's 15 yrs. older then me and I think it would give him too big of a head if I wrote to him. He'd be wondering why I was still contacting him. THANKS EVERYONE!!
2006-08-07 03:01:59 · update #1
Yes, I believe it is wrong. You have a husband now and all your attention should be towards him and not an ex.Apparently you still have feelings for your ex or you wouldn't try contacting him at all. Only bad things could come of this. He's an ex for a reason, think about it.
2006-08-07 03:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by yooper guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several male friends who are exes, and I openly spend time with them as friends. They have moved on and I have moved on - it has never been a problem.
If your husband is not OK with it and you are doing it in secret or if you are checking up on him to kind of keep the connection alive, that's a big red flag. The fact that you are concerned enough about your own motives to ask it as a question here is another bad sign.
I suggest cutting off all contact for 3 months - if you find it hard or you are tempted to reply to a message from him, I'd say you've got a problem.
2006-08-07 09:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sounded like you really want to contact your ex boyfriend, I suggest think about what you wanna do and think if your husband would contact his ex girlfriend and the ex girlfriend would reply like what your ex boyfriend would reply to you how will it feel and would it be okay. Its cool to be friends with an ex you shared a past together but you should really be 100% sure that the only feeling you have is friendly and it won't go anywhere else. Good luck!
2006-08-07 10:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by WickeD_AngeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must still be interested in him just a little to want to know whats going on in his life. If you love your hubby, don't do it. Its disrespectful and wrong. If he was just an old friend thats one thing, but you had a past sexual relationship with this man. How would you feel if you found out your hubby was emailing his ex lover. You may say it's just an innocent email, but it might turn into something. Don't put yourself in a situation where you might be tempted. Believe me ...it happens
2006-08-07 10:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should keep it moving.. it's obvious that u want it to be something because u wouldn't be thinking of ur ex... u say it'll just be a couple of emails but then it might be a visit or hanging out next because u don't think anything is wrong w/it cause u just wanted to know how he was doing..
i think if u can't discuss this w/ur husband then u know that u shouldn't do it.. why cause drama in ur marriage when it's so unecessary.. u and ur ex obviously moved on, i think u should keep it that way....
2006-08-07 09:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be openly honest about it with your husband. Tell him what your doing, show him the e-mails if he wants and let it be that. Your not doing anything wrong unless your husband dosent like the idea. As long as your open and honest about it, there may be some heasatation at first on his part but after a couple of friendly e-mails he'll understand that your just friends.
2006-08-07 09:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by honest guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear you are talking from your point of view BUT you don't know what your EX is thinking or what does he wants am not saying that he is a bad guy who wants to ruin your marriage but i think you need to think wisely and don't make an old relation destroy what u have now
Best wishes
â¥
2006-08-07 10:05:58 · answer #7 · answered by Clark794 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know in your heart if it is ok. I see nothing wrong with remaining friends. However, is he completely over you? Will you tell your spouse about this? If you can do it and your husband is fine with it, then yes, do it. If you feel it is something you need to hide from your hubby, then I would advise not to.
2006-08-07 09:56:49 · answer #8 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but just make sure that your hubby knows about it. No it's not wrong to want to contact an ex. But keep your limits, and keep your boundaries clear.
2006-08-07 09:59:36 · answer #9 · answered by hnic_shannon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want anything from him, I wouldn't rekindle old feelings. If you have a good relationship with your husband I wouldn't do anything to mess it up. What would you do if the shoe was on the other foot?
2006-08-07 10:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by the2packs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋