She was mad at him, her intention was to "get" everything he has. They seemed to work out their differences, but I can't get over it. I find myself detesting her. What do I do? By do, I mean.....I can stay away from her, but I dont want her around me. My son is 35, but that has reared all my mother bear instincts. How do I cope? I feel like I am waiting for an accident to happen.
2006-08-07 02:28:27 · 13 answers · asked by shadieladie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I should include, that the reason I know this is...she called me to complain about him (she had never involved me in their problems before, so this was a surprise out of the blue). She was mad because she feels that he doesnt like her son. She said she couldnt live with someone that didnt like her child. She asked my advice, and I told her that was a hard problem, I dont know of any way to make someone like someone else, and that my advice was for her is to do what she had to, to make her sons life happy. I guess she didnt like what I said, and she hung up on me, but it really didnt hang up, and I thought she was still on the phone, and I was over hearing her tell a friend (i guess she was at this persons house) everything that she had done. So.....it came straight from her mouth.
My son has 2 children from his first marriage, I have the feeling that she is jealous of them, and resents that he loves them. From what I overheard, she compares his relationship with them to her son
2006-08-07 03:04:48 · update #1
Maybe she'd just like a good spanking?
2006-08-07 02:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Detest" is an awfully strong emotion. One that's perfectly normal for a mother "bear" protecting her cub. However, if you do not live with them. you do not know EVERYTHING. There's always two sides to every story. This is the woman your 35 year old son(a mature age) has chosen for his life partner. If you all live in the same city and have to spend time together regularly, you should sit down with just her, and tell her what you've heard and how you feel about it. Otherwise, you're being "passive aggressive" by simply stewing about it and avoiding her. If the air remains "uncleared" so to speak, you may cause more problems, & ultimately you'll catch the blame (from both of them) if they do not work out their marriage. Something to consider: We all say and do things we don't really mean when we are mad. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 09:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by T S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely verify whether what i heard was true and accordingly take necessary steps.Judging by your description about your daughter in law it seems there is no love lost between you two.You must be possessive about your son while she wants to show her domination over him.Mother in law and daughter in law seldom get together and its for the same reason.Sharing the love .If you dont like to be with her stay away from her.she will understand .Your son is 35 and think he can handle the situation.If you are near think it would just complicate the problem.Since you have said you can stay away from her, do so.The more you stay there the more you will hate your daughter in law.You already started detesting her. So let your son handle the situation which i am sure he is capable.Let the matter settle down.Think they seemd to work out their difference which is just great.So please dont interfere in their matter.Time will definitely help to mend the difference between you and your daughter in law.Just stay away for some time.They will surely come to you once their problem is settled.Till such time devote your time in activities you like.
2006-08-07 09:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by rajan kumar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You taught your son how to behave, now it is time to stay out of his life! My son is 32, and I am sure he has screwed up several times that I knew better, but our job is to advise only if asked. Then be very careful not to say something that will come back and bite you!
2006-08-07 09:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand because i am a mother of two boys, but you have to let im figure this one out no matter how much yu want to interfer. let her know that you do not appriciate how she is treating your son that you would wish for both him and her to work out your differences in a better mannor.
2006-08-07 09:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember that she was the one your son chose to marry & as long as they are together- she is a part of him (your daughter in law);; no matter how bad/good their relationship is- they need to work it out by themselves-- next time you are around her try to find something nice to say(even if you don't really want to)-- make the first step to change your relationship w/ her
2006-08-07 09:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by kids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not ur place to interfere.. all u can do is have a sit down w/ur son and let him deal w/it.. only he can solve this problem because it is his problem to deal with.. and i know that's ur son and u don't want to see anything bad happen to him but just inform ur son of ur worries for him...
but the girl i would just stop her from calling my house..
or u could approach her or call her and let her know ur concerns for their relationship.. but i think that'll just make mattes worse because when we r dating we don't care what the parent thinks...
good luck
2006-08-07 09:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they have their own sick little drama going.
I would leave them alone and let them do whatever they want to each other. It sounds like they enjoy it.
I'm not being snarky. I actually knew a couple like this.
2006-08-07 09:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tolerate her for the sake of your son.
2006-08-07 09:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know that you know so then maybe shell stop if not tell the cops that she threw herself down the stairs
2006-08-07 09:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋