My husband and I have 5 children under the age of 5yrs. (Before you ask, I was on birth control with all the children and two out of the five are twins.)Finding couple time on a limited budget , busy schedule, and exhaustion for us both, is proving to be difficult. WE both want our relatonship to stay strong, we just do not know where to start. Any advice?
2006-08-07 01:55:06 · 11 answers · asked by LISA S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Make love every day and what I mean by that is . . . share a kiss each morning/night, say I love you and mean it, leave little notes around the house for each other, send flowers, give a mini massage, make time for cuddles (even if only for five mins. a day) surprise gifts every now and then. There are MANY ways to show your partner that you're still in love and want to keep romance alive!
See if you can get someone to babysit your children once a month (even if you have to divide them up to different homes) and go out on a date (or stay in) and have the much needed alone time together!
Romance is very important in a relationship and you definitely recognize that. So, with your willingness to stay strong, try these ideas and watch the sparks come alive again!
My partner "make love" every day by doing the "little things". We've never been happier!
GOOD LUCK! I hope my ideas help you and that you two can make it work, keep your romance alive and enjoy each other to the max!!!!
2006-08-07 02:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by, if you can afford it, finding a babysitter for one night a week for 2-3 hours. Either use those hours to have the babysitter keep the kids quiet in another room, (no one says you have to go out when you have a babysitter) or go get a cup of coffee together, or dinner. Something relaxing. Even if you stay at home, use those 2-3 hours to just be with each other. Don't talk about money or any other issues that could raise stress levels. If you are having money or time management isuess or any other problems, those should only be talked about at a certain time that has been set aside for that. that way, the time you two do spend together alone isn't spent stressing over problems or issues. You guys need to just be together, alone. Having 5 kids, all that young can be ridiculously stressful and you guys need your relaxing time alone or else the stress will end up taking over your lives. Start with just one night a week, for 2-3 hours and then gradually give yourself 2 nights aweek, or 1 night during the week and 1 on the weekends. Even if it seems that you don't have time to get away for a couple hours, force yourselves. you need it!! And whatever you choose to do with that time DO NOT talk about problems such as work, money, or the kids. Like I said earlier, set aside an hour a week, to talk specifically about those problems, and that's it. Problems can see overwhelming if they're always thought and talked about. Remember that things will work out ok in the end, if things aren't ok, then it's not the end!! Good luck!!
2006-08-07 09:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by sugar&spice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have a lot of work just maintaining your family. how about doing that stuff together? in a loving relationship, even mundane things can be couple time - washing dishes, grocery shopping, etc.
enjoy your time together, no matter what it is. you've developed a very rich, full life, go play with your kids together, spend time just being with each other.
and every now and then, find a cheap babysitter (or 2, 5 kids might be a bit much for 1 15yr old girl to handle!) and spend some romantic time together.
to have had 5 children, you must really love each other and are meant to be together. never lose sight of that, and you'll be fine.
also, consider a visectomy! :-P
good luck and God bless
2006-08-07 09:03:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart truly goes out to you because I truly understand how difficult it is to find a private intimate moment when you have to think about bringing bacon home for so many kids.
Intimacy doesn't necessarily have to imply spending time together. You could rekindle your passion with the following suggestions:
- Secretly slipping a love poem/note for your partner into his wallet
- Pray together on a regular basis (perhaps before bedtime)
- Take turns to give each other back massages before bedtime.
- Bedtime conversations are really important...don't just ask him how was his day. (E.g. Reminise your past together, share with him something you read that day, be it a joke or a news article, have a discussion about why you were made for each other)
- Make it a point to say something nice about your partner each day, even in the simplest way like "You look good in that shirt!"
- Learn a new dish and eat as a family...but you point out to your husband that yo learnt to cook this dish specially for him.
- Count your blessings together on a regular basis. Married couples' romance sometimes wither because your conversations are dominated by whining, grumbles and complaints. Talk positively like "I'm thankful you are doing so much for this home!" or "We are truly blessed to have five beautiful kids!"
2006-08-07 09:11:51 · answer #4 · answered by citrusy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way to start and keep your relationship going is by communicating to one another. From there, you might plan 2 evenings a month where both you and your spouse spend time alone. That might entail finding a baby sitter for your children. It doesn't have to be an expensive night out. The primary reason is for you to have alone time with your spouse.
2006-08-07 09:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. Good that you have completed your biological part of life. Children are a continuous fountain of pleasure.And to have them in various ages must be lots of fun though tough to bring them up as you have very little family support in America. Both of you are mature enough to think positively of your relationship. And that is the secret. You will surely find ways to appreciate each other in open and subtle ways at times. Kids grow fast and will slowly become independent. Keep it up. Your mature approach will keep you together. Wish you and your kids best of time.
2006-08-07 09:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by rjbendre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of schools require students to do a certain amount of community service. Find out if any students in your area have to do that and maybe you can find a little bit of free baby-sitting. Even some colleges require it if you wouldn't want to leave your kids with someone younger. Good luck!
2006-08-07 09:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to have a "date nite" weekly. See if other moms in your area would trade "sitting" nites. Then you could go on picnic, long ride, check into a cheap motel...just be together as a couple.
2006-08-07 09:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by Paige 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you just need more time for the both of you. Try asking friends or relatives to baby-sit (for free).
2006-08-07 08:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by zerospacegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a tough, I can hardly do anything with one child around. I would suggest as much sex as possible, as we know sex is what makes any couple close. Have as much as possible and make it adventurous as you can. I know its obviously tiring taking care of them but if you neglect your sex life, you will see a disaster.
Good luck!
2006-08-07 09:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by Zeebaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋