I've run out of toilet paper. What would make a good alternative?

Question

News of the world?
Pillowcase?
Family photo's?
Slow moving pet?
Granny's hat?

Wow! Piparita's hot, isn't she?

Answer 1

News of the world - may result in black stains round your bum

Pillowcase - may be difficult to control wiping since most of it would flap around in the loo and soak up your poo and water in the bowl

Family photos - good if it's a photo of your ex, but may be slippery when wiping resulting in brown muck all around your bum

Slow moving pet - fur may be a bit too soft to wipe with and a turtle is a definite 'no-no', but if the pet belongs to an ex then this might justify its use

Granny's hat - now why would you want to use poor little ol' granny's hat?

Answer 2

No. Why did you take advantage of it in case you knew it changed into undesirable? you want to take your hamster to the vet. swap to carefresh bedding. Any no, you are able to't use torn up lavatory paper. perhaps you need to locate the hamster a sparkling domicile. EDIT: dont pay interest to the guy lower than. PETCO workers comprehend no longer something. You cant use lavatory paper because even as it truly is moist it really is going to develop right into a enormous pile of mush. in case you actual can't manage to pay for ideal bedding, use about 5 layers of newspaper, then shredded newspaper on suitable. make certain you rip the paper by ability of hand otherwise it may have sharp edges. Please get ideal care or locate him a sparkling domicile.

Answer 3

paper towels work good too, just if you use any type of plant be sure not to use a cactus. That would hurt really bad and the nurses and doctor at the hospital wouldn't be able to help you because they would be on the floor laughing so hard if you had to go to the hospital for using a cactus to substitute toilet paper

Answer 4

Flush the toilet, get your hand cupped around the rim to collect some water flowing in from your flush and keep splashing it against your boot using the water. You may have to re-flush again to get more water, but you've got to be quick too, like, grab the water, splash it up against your bum and work around with your finger to get the last bits off. Now that you have finished. you can either just pull up and let the slight water dripping dry naturally or just use your towel and clean off the excess water. Make sure you wash the towel eventually.

Answer 5

Guinea pigs from the petting zoo. Remember to return them after use.

Seen written on a single-sheet toilet paper dispenser - "Instant picture of Tony Blair - just wipe to develop"

Answer 6

From previous experience, I would go for the slow moving pet (as long as its not a hedgehog)....found them to be very absorbant and easy to catch. Just dont try to flush the little blighter down the loo, could cause a massive blockage/overflow.....not pretty

Answer 7

I vote for the pet!! No I don't but if you have any baby wipes around or maybe a soft paper towel or napkin. If it were me I'd just go to the nearest public restroom and take a few extra sheets.

Answer 8

some interesting thoughts:

pillowcase can be washed (thumbs up)

news of the world might leave ink on your bum (thumbs down)

family photo will be too slick to clean you (thumbs down)

slow moving pet could bite (thumbs down)

granny's hat is washable, however, i would suggest removing from her head first (thumb halfway up)

Answer 9

To save running out of paper the next time, try to economise and start using both side of the toilet paper...easy!

Answer 10

Take a shower. Feels best...

If not that, the world news would be my choice. Least bother, even if you later feel the need to use such again... just get a new paper.