Before I got married I had an affair with a married man for 6 mths. I got the normal story: wife was lazy, treated him badly, wanted to be with me,not her, and they hardly had sex, however she got pregnant 2 months into our affair. It took me 6 months to realize what a loser he was and how wrong what I was doing was and call it off. They did split up 2 months before that, but he and I did not get together as a couple. He always denied the affair to her, but I know that she knew. She got an letter sent to her at her job telling her about us (no it wasnt from me or anyone I know) Anyways, now 5 years later, I ran into her and their little girl at a clothes store. We almost bumped into each other and when we both looked up to say "excuse me" we made eye contact. We both just looked at each other and then turned away. Should I have taken the chance to apologize to her then or just let it go like I did?
2006-08-07 00:54:57 · 15 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I do not know where this woman lives right now. I heard she moved a few hours away, so she was probably just visiting family. I dont even know if she kept his last name or not, so as far as apologizing goes, that was my only chance to do so.
2006-08-07 01:03:51 · update #1
Dance with the devil.....pay his due.....how do you apologize for sucking her husbands unit or letting him enter you repeatdly. just know you are slutty and live with yourself.
2006-08-07 01:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by answering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the "right" thing by letting it go. Don't cause this woman any more pain than she's already been thru. I'm sure your accidental meeting left her reliving the betrayal all over again. You have to ask yourself this... would your apology have even been offered if the guy turned out to be great for you? No. You'd have continued the affair, continued the relationship, then possibly married the guy. You are only feeling the need to apologize because your relationship with him is over. Do you see what I'm saying? That stems from YOU. Again, if things had worked out between the two of you, you essentially would've stolen her husband from her while she was pregnant with his kid, and no amount of apologies can ever make up for that. Go your own way and leave the poor woman alone. You made a huge mistake but don't let it cause her grief, too. Good luck to you, it sounds like you learned your lesson, too. Take care of yourself!
2006-08-07 01:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Cherstin and Adam F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are wanting to give this woman a chance to tell you exactly what she thinks of you, stay away. If the husband always denied it, then she only suspects. She may not care anymore, or she may blame you for their demise. If you feel like you need to get it off you chest, then send her a letter apologizing, but do not sign it. Some things are better left in the past. Also, you should never never never bring anything that up in front of the mans daughter.
2006-08-07 01:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change the past and altho i think in a lot of ways apologizing is the right thing to do, doing it there in front of everyone and with her lil girl there would have been wrong. So maybe just a simple phone call or a letter would be less "in her face" and more of a sincere apology
2006-08-07 01:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by shak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question.
I think you have to ask yourself why you want to apologize. Is it to make YOU feel better? If so, then I'd say just let it go.
She knows her ex-husband is a louse, believe me.
And even though she received a letter, she:
1. may not have read it
2. may not have believed it
If you feel that an apology would make HER feel better, then write her a letter-- from the heart-- with little or no reference to him or his character... just about you and the choices you made and how, if you had it all to do again, you'd do it differently.
One other note: don't expect a response.
Good luck. Just remember that the road to heartache is paved with good intentions...
2006-08-07 01:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should live with being ashamed, and no not said a word to her. I don't think that you are any better than her cheating husband. I am not saying that just to attack you, but in general someone who does what you did. There is a time for morals and common sense to take over, 1 day is too long, nevermind 6 months.
2006-08-07 09:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No what happened it good. You did the right thing in not confroting her. It would be wrong for her to relive that horrible moment in her life and meet the person that could have possibly ruined her marriage. Its best to maintain the distance. Don't talk to her.
2006-08-07 01:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing it could have gotten ugly because of her being embarrassed.
2006-08-07 00:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not in front of the kid but it would not make it right we all make bad choices in life that we have to live with
2006-08-07 01:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let bygone be bygone, don't harp on the past. I don't think either one of you like to remember that jerk, so get your life going.
2006-08-07 01:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋