Is it possible to sustain a relationship if the man is 54 and the woman is only 21?

Question

I am 54 and having a deep affair with a girl of 21. Is this relationship sustainabe and what kind of problems this can encounter? I have not been keen in marriage but the girl is determined and says can not live without me.

Answer 1

You're sooooooo doomed!!

Answer 2

She's a young and naive girl.....she can live without you, and should. Sorry, but you are more than twice her age and shame on you for even starting a relationship with her. One of the problems you will encounter is that you are not getting any younger. She won't even be 40 when you are 70.....your health will deteriorate quite a bit by then (sorry, but it's human nature) and she'll be stuck with some old guy that doesn't want to go out and do things like she does. Let her go and don't look back. She'll be fine.

Answer 3

Well she is young needs security, shes inexperienced in life may be she needs a father figure. You have to decide if you want this or not. Will she want some one younger in a few years. Does she want children, cos you dont want to be 70 when your child becomes teen and wants to play soccer, go camping do the things that you wont be able to do. Has she had a bad time and feels being with you she is safe? I don't think say 10 year age diff is important , but this girl hasnt had a life yet. Shes young needs to grow an experience life your at that age where you need to rest. 33 years diff, not good.Your the only person that can decide what you should do.

Answer 4

Have fun with the relationship but this is not a long term deal.
The statement that she cannot live without you is really immature. The relationship will lack substance (however fun it may be) and she will be lookin' when you are ready for the cruise to Alaska or wherever. I am 56 and find that someone closer to our own age has more benefits in the long run.
In the short run, enjoy, I hope she is a knockout!

Answer 5

Dear Arunsamwel,

The answer is no, and I feel that you know it too as well. Such relations are never going to last.

Keeping emotional stuff away, it is said that women want and enjoy sex during 30-40 years of age.

Would you be able to satisfy her at that time? What if she finds another younger one, same around her age? Are you prepared for that?

Are you married? If yes, and if you have kids, then what about them?

If you say girl is in love with you and wants to marry, she may be treating you like a father figure. Just look at her background, and you may well find out that she may have been deprived of emotional feelings, during her childhood or teenage. That is why she is loving you, at present, may be.

Don't you think you are making a big mistake here.

I think you are. I am against such unbalanced relationships. It does not work out.

Answer 6

It's possible if you are both committed. It has been done many times before. You will have to put up with censure from many people but:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Answer 7

The age gap is too great, about three generations apart. Eventuall you will run out of things to talk about, since you don't have common life experience. Without communications, a relationship will not last long. There really isn't much to share between you and the 21 year old, so I would advise against it.

Answer 8

omg she's old enough to be your daughter if not your grandaughter as well.. GROSS!.. but neither here or there, this is what is bound to happen, know this because well my sister married a man twice her age.. She was so in love with him, thought the sun rose and set in his eyes.. ..then she started growing up, wanting to do things "KIDS" her own age were doing, partying, going out, hanging out, dancing.. ect ect.. and he started not to be so much fun anymore, she liked that he had money.. but the older they both got she was turning more into an old lady taking care of her elderly husband who was wearing out, while she was just getting started in her life.. and ultimately ended up with him filing bankruptcy and them divorcing.. luckily they never had kids..

So lets see, if ur girl friend were to get preg. u'd be in your 70s before the child was even 18 wow thats fair for her and the child.. wait.. unless ur going to tell her u dont want any children, then thats FAIR to her to.. cause right now she's probably thinking she doesnt want any , but in about 8 years or so when she starts MATURING and her biological clock starts ticking she probably will and what then? Stop being selfish, let this kid go.. u know its for her own good, u know she has alot of life infront of her, and she shouldnt be held back by a man that is aging.. she's a child.. and she has no clue about what ERA u come from, and people are going to always assume she's ur daughter when u go out, and thats going to be uncomfortable for the both of u after awhile..

She shouldnt have to take care of an old man when she's only in her mid 30's.. and thats what her life would amount to is ending up being ur nurse more so then ur wife, and more then likely in about 20 years give or take she'll be a young widow.. she deserves someoen to grow old with.. dont u think?

I know its an ego thing, being a man of ur age and having a 21 year old, but u already know deep down this isnt a good thing or u wouldnt of even asked this question.. Do the right thing..

Answer 9

sure worked for anna nicole..not. r u serious? she will do what everyone does and grows up. at 54 u been there done that at 21 the worlds her playground. she wont want to take car of u in 20 yrs when shes only 40 and ur ready for a retirement village. u must be rich otherwise... i dont know its a little strange

Answer 10

There is no harm now. But when you are older by another ten years, she would have justvreached her optimum age of 31. Do you think that you will be able to satisfy her? And suppose you dont and she does find someone else, will you tolerate that?She may be childish at 21 but you are a matured adult. Think well and take a decsiion!!

Answer 11

Had a friend who was an older man (50+) he married a young women (22) with whom we (he and I) worked with. It was his 2nd marriage first wife left him hadn’t wanted children it was her 2nd marriage she had married at 18 then divorced within six months. It seemed to work out fine, She went back to school received her degree, he had arm candy and ran for political office in our college town, they had children together. Life seemed good…ran into him with the two kids at a BN books store reading to his children, I ask about his lovely wife now 32, he is now 63 the children 9 and 7. With his deep grey eyes he said she left two years ago with a man her age moved to Chicago she always wanted a big town life and I always wanted children…his closing remarks were she is suing me for the children now because she thinks I am too old to raise them on my own. She doesn’t want to share and her new man can’t have children but has enough of her life style. She also had become a US citizen from Sweden. Last I heard he retired up in Chicago had to change his golden year’s dreams/life style to be with his children.
Moral to the true story from my point of view ….look at it at from all perspective …and enjoy!
Caution!!! get a prenup…marriage or preliv…live in agreement