should i leave him to cry?

Question

my son is 5&1/2 months old and goes to bed at about 8. before we started him on solids he slept right through. now he wakens at 1 and 4 then i have to waken him at 6 to get him ready for nursery. at 1 he will take 1oz and at 4 about 5oz. he also wont go to sleep without being cuddled in. should i just put him into his cot at 8 and let him cry? and what should i do about the night feeds? in knackered and need sleep!

Answer 1

It may be that he's going through a growth spurt, in which case he may be wanting to drink more milk. Is he having plenty of fluids during the day?

When I sleep-trained my daughter I used a different technique from controlled crying (which is where you leave them to cry for 5, 10, 15 mins) because I couldn't bear to see my daughter cry. Its called "pick up and put down".

Basically, you make sure you have a set bedtime routine and follow it. Make sure that they know that its bed time. If they wake in the night make sure you go straight to them, pick them up and check that everything is OK (do anything that you need to like changing nappies etc) and put them back down in the cot and leave the room and close the door. Do not make eye contact (this is essential), speak to them, make cooing noises etc. If they continue to cry, re-enter the room, check that they're OK and walk out again, always with out making eye contact. When he wakes in the morning, go in and make a real fuss of him, even if he's been up for most of the night, so that he knows that there is a distinct difference between your nighttime and daytime response to his waking. It will take about four days before he gets the message that mummy (or daddy) will always come if he needs help but that he wont get any "fun" or emotional response out of you.

I used this with my daughter, who had a similar problem and it worked like a dream. I much prefer it to controlled crying because I believe it sent a strong message that I would always come if she needed me but that bedtime was bedtime and mummy wasn't going to engage in playing, cuddling or any form of chitchat.

Good luck. I know how hard it is when a baby won't sleep through the night.

Answer 2

simi k are you just here to make people feel bad?

it takes a while to get to know what your baby's cries mean and sometimes they don't mean anything. Babies cry. Fact. Sometimes even mummy can't make baby happy no matter what she does.

The waking could be something to do with not having enough milk. At this age if solids have already been introduced it should literally just be to taste. Milk should not be substituted yet for at least another couple of months then u can gradually cut back on milk feeds and increase solid food amount.

Or the waking could be just a stage. My 13 month old daughter goes through good and bad sleeping patterns. I think its just inevitable. But I notice she sleeps better when she's had 2 good daytime naps so it really is true that if a baby is 'over-tired' she won't sleep well at night. However sometimes she can have good naps and it'll seem like shes had everything she needs before bed and she STILL won't sleep! And its really easy to get into a vicious cycle with sleeping patterns!

As far as letting him cry is concerned, u should never just leave a baby for a long stretch of time to cry. All it will do is make him more clingy and nervous but a baby who knows mummy is there for him when needed will become a confident and independent child. That said you do need your sleep so I suggest reading 'the no-cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley. I haven't read it yet as I only picked it up on thurs but its been recommended to me.

Good luck, I do sympathize!

Answer 3

Hello!

Before leaving him to cry think of the things that might be wakening him. Have you cut back on formul or breast milk? If you have I'd give it again plus the solids.

Someone mentioned teething - its very possible at this age andeven though u can see anythin yet there is always stuff going on!

My son has slept through the night for ages but ocasionally goes through wee spates of wakening up (he's 8 months) and it really knocks me for 6 cos I'm not used to it! Is ur son old enough to hold a bottle himself when he's lying in his cot? My son doe this and it makes wakening up in the night less fun cos he isn't getting picked up and brought in for a cuddle and it means you get back to sleep a lot quicker too!

If you are certain he is getting enough food during the day then give him water as its not as nice and again he'll realise gettin up at night is no fun!

Speak to his nursery. How many naps is he having during the day? Maybe to many?

Hope you find the soloution somehow - good luck!

Answer 4

I don't know if anyone else asked you this because I didn't read everyones answers, but has he started teething? that might make him irritable and therefore make him cry.
He really is still very young so I don't think that cuddling will hurt him for a little while. He won't be this little forever and soon those night feeds will be a distant memory, and he won't need you during the night, so however exhausting it is, try to enjoy these nighttime cuddles. If all he wants is a cuddle from his parents, then why not indulge him.
Can you give him to someone for a night? I know that seems odd, but maybe if you got one good nights sleep, you'd be able to deal with him with a better frame of mind, i.e. you wouldn't be so exhausted and therefore more likely to be calm instead of resenting the fact that this is yet another awakening during the night- I hope that I am making sense- I have to wake several times a night with my daughter who's a 15 months old and so I get sleep deprived too!

Just remember, this will pass, and it won't be long until he wants to sleep not just all night, but all day too-those teenage years will be here before you know it!!!

Answer 5

I studied sleep problems and treatment methods last year during my degree. First, there is such a thing as a sleep specialist or a sleep center. If your insurance covers this the best thing to do is to visit one.

If not, you can do yourself a sleep chart - take a sheet of paper write down the numbers between 1 and 24 in a column, write in the above row the day of the week/date and keep marking the hour every time your baby falls asleep/wakes up (darken the squares corresponding to the sleep period - if he sleeps between 2 and 4 am darken the squares on the left to your digits 2-3-4 for that day; for half hours cut the square in half diagonally and darken one half). The theory says that a person only needs a certain amount of hours of sleep every 24 hours and only sleeps that long every day. For example, if your baby's nap at let's say 12,30 lasts 4 hours he will sleep four hours less that night (I mean that he will fall asleep at 8 because he is trained to do so every night but wake up several times during the night and stay awake because he needs 4 hours less sleep for the night - in other words he is not tired). So one possibility would be for you to allow him to fall asleep at 9 or 9,30 instead of 8 (every night same hour though) or cut down on his day sleep. That would make him need to sleep longer at night and he may not awaken.
However, things are a bit more complex than what I have described (among other things you need to write down feeding time and bath time plus other events -like play time- that might influence his degree of alertness every evening). As you said he started to awaken when you fed him solids it is also possible that some foods do not agree with him or that he has some problems digesting them. There are also a number of afflictions that prevent proper sleep and can go unnoticed because the baby is not able to speak and complain about them (mild ear infection can pass undetected and is a bit painfull so that could give a fidgety sleep).
I'm not a MD so I don't know all of them. In my opinion, the best would be to take him to a sleep center/specialist for investigations.

Answer 6

Make sure you really tire him out before bed, make him laugh alot, he's also old enough for a walker (my 6 month son loves it and it really tires him out).. my son cries for a few minutes sometimes a little longer depending on how he's feeling. Try feeding him a little more solid food (like cereal) in the hours before bedtime, you should try to find away to break this habit though(even if that means letting him cry for a little while), or you won't be getting any sleep. It's also true that he may not be getting enough attention and playtime at his nursery.

Answer 7

I suggest, if u r giving him milk 4 his night feeds change it 2 water, it's less appealling so wont wake as often. also how long before bedtime does he eat his dinner? the closer 2 bedtime the better, but not too close.
i also recommend leaving him 2 cry himself 2 sleep, not 4 long, leave him about 2 minutes then go in and reassure him but dont pick him up, then leave again. my son got the idea of sleeping on his own within 3 days, i'm currently trying the same technique on my second baby.
good luck

Answer 8

Don't leave him to cry, your baby needs you. as far as night feeds go, he's hungry. Most docs say they should stay with breastfeeding until the baby is six months old and then adding solids with that until 12 months. You may have just started him on solids too early. Trust your instincts.

I know its hard and you need sleep, but thats parenting right :-) Good luck and I wish your family the best.

Answer 9

Make sure you're not substituting solids for formula / breast milk by feeding him them after - first milk, then solids. Otherwise, he might be full, but not getting enough calories / nutrition from the solids.

Your baby doesn't *need* solids at this age, so don't worry if after a feeding he only takes a teaspoon (or none at all).

I don't believe in letting a baby cry at this age, he's too young to be spoiled...

Answer 10

if you are letting him feed as much as he wants, both with solids an milk during the day he shouldn't physically need food during the night at his age. sometimes as they become more mobile they also become more restless. it could be just habit now that he wakes for a bottle. give him a bath and bottle at 8 then when he starts to stir at 1, offer him a dummy then leave him to settle a little on his own. if he keeps crying a little just keep offering the dummy. try not to put on lights or talk to him. he needs to relearn the difference between night and day. i use one of those battery touch lights cos they give just enough light to find the dummy. if he screams his head off try to offer milk in a dim light so he will doze off quickly. the key is trying to get him to learn to go to sleep on his own. it will take a while but it works for me.

also bear in mind that with this hot weather he may just be thirsty.