baby in bed?

Question

hi all, my son is 5 & 1/2 months old and enjoys a cuddle in our bed after his bottle, and when he wakes up through the night he settles better there too. so, is it ok to let him sleep here? my husband works nights so lewis gets half the bed. i know he might get used to this arrangement but to be honest i dont mind as long as he gets a good sleep.

Answer 1

It is perfectly ok. My baby sleeps with us in bed. Like you noticed yourself, your baby settles better with you. This is how nature intended - babies are meant to be around us, and we are their security and comfort. They are not meant to be away from us, especially not in a different room in a nursery. Babies instinctively feel better around the parents, I feel better with my baby around, I can clearly see him the whole night, and it is so much cosier. The three of us on the superking size bed, so nobody is uncomfortable, and there is no risk of squashing. As long as you are aware that your baby is around and you are not a deep sleeper (which I am sure you're not), it is fine, safe, comforting and don't worry, when he is old enough he will leave your bed. The first few months are important in the baby's life and must feel secure, so do not think at any moment that you are spoiling him. Animals are close to their babies and never spoil them. Just do what feels natural. My baby is 12 weeks old by the way. Enjoy motherhood.

Answer 2

Me and my 13 month old daughter co-sleep and have done since she was a few weeks old and had colic. It was the only way of coping at the time but since then I have come to the decision (after reading up on both sides of the argument) that it is the best thing for baby so we have continued.

Here's a fact I've read- the countries where co-sleeping is the norm are the countries with the lowest cot death rates.

Its also thought to make your baby produce happy and relaxing hormones when she is close to you and this in turn will make her a happy, relaxed and therefore probably healthier child. Also, contrary to popular belief it is said now that babies who co-sleep are more secure and independent than babies who sleep alone as they know mum is there if needed. So they don't feel they have to keep checking that they are not being left alone!

As long as you follow these guidelines there's no reason why you and your baby shouldn't enjoy the experience:
*don't co-sleep if you or any1 u share a bed with smokes, drinks alcohol,takes medication which makes u drowsy or are a particularly heavy sleeper or particularly exhausted that night.
*don't use a quilt. Change it for a sheet and a blanket or sleep baby on top of the quilt (best to get rid of it though)
*keep your pillows well away from baby
*dont let baby sleep right next to the wall as he could slip between the bed and the wall and become trapped
*when baby can roll over use a bed rail to stop him falling
*keep room temp between about 16-20C
*keep babies bed clothes light - remember he will have your body warmth
*don't let older children sleep next to babies

Its all the better that your husband works nights. Mine doesn't sleep in our bed as he is a smoker, drinker, heavy sleeper AND on drowsy medication so is pretty much breaking every rule in the book!! But having plenty of room for u and baby to get a good nights sleep and do what feels natural is great.

As far as getting him out of the arrangement when the time comes, there will always be new and improved sleep programmes coming out and you can deal with it when you and baby are over the hardest stage of your new life together. I'm about to read 'the no-cry sleep solution' to see if I can start to get my daughter used to going to sleep without me.

Most parents are going to come across sleep battles at some stage but why not just enjoy the peace and closeness whilst he still wants to be close to you! I'm sure the time when he's 'too old for cuddles' will come far too quickly!!

Answer 3

There are so many different opinions on this and I think you will see the the USA mothers think there is no problem but UK mothers are more wary.

I don't know why this is but personally I wouldn't get into it if you can avoid it. I used to bring my son into bed for a bottle and he would fall asleep, I'd then put him back into his cot. If he woke he just used to look around, realise where he was and went right back to sleep. Sleeping with him was lovely the few times I done it but I found I always slept lighter as I was worried about squishing him.

You need to do what is right for you and easiest. My firend had her son in bed with her then at about a year he just grew out of it and went into the cot on his own without a problem. On the other hand I know people who still ave 4 year olds in bed with them.

You need to think about long term before you allow a habit to form. It might be easiest at the time but what will happen when you and your partner decide you want your bed to youself?

Good luck!

Answer 4

It's up to you and what habbits you want him to get into. The safety risks increase not just with suffocation issues but with his increasing age when he learns to crawl to the end of the bed and fall off etc. If you are happy to have him in your bed for the next few years then do it. Just remember Its not just about now. It is easier to break a bad habbit the younger they are. Within a week he's sure to realise you will come and calm him but that his bed is to sleep in. And he'll learn to sleep better too. But also when life changes and your husband changes from working nights due to an event out of his control or something. If you like him in the bed for his company due to your hubby not being there at night, you have to wean yourself from that dependence on him. Why not try giving him a morning cuddle in bed the first bottle after sunrise? He'll love that just as much!

Answer 5

I had my son in with me until he was 2. All of a sudden , he started sleeping through in his own bed (which is still in my room). My husband also works nights and I found having my son in bed with me was the only way we could get a decent nights sleep. Now I have a new baby, she sleeps in her crib until about 4 and then gets in with me. Just follow the golden rules - no big quilts, 1 or no pillows, don't drink alcohol or smoke. Obviously there are risks.
I know you'll get loads of advice saying not to do it, but from my experience I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Answer 6

More babies die in cribs than in beds with their parents (percentage). Its fine to keep your baby there with you. A couple good guidlines ot follow though:
1. put up a barrier so the baby can't roll off the other side of the bed.
2. If you are very very tired, don't let the baby sleep with you because you won't be as aware if his presence.
3. Make sure your bed has nothing the baby could get his head stuck in such as railings or space between the bed and wall.

Answer 7

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its not a good idea to let a baby sleep in bed with adults. there are many documented cases of babies being smothered because someone rolled ontop of them.

The CPSC identifies four primary hazards of infants sleeping in an adult bed:

suffocation caused by an adult rolling on top of or next to a baby

suffocation when an infant gets trapped or wedged between a mattress and headboard, nightstand, wall, or other rigid object

suffocation resulting from a baby being face-down on a waterbed, a regular mattress, or on soft bedding such as pillows, blankets, or quilts

strangulation in a headboard or footboard that allows part of an infant's body to pass through an area while trapping the baby's head

Answer 8

I used to do this too with our son. I didn't have any problems, although all my friends said he would refuse to sleep in his own bed. As soon as he was old enough we made a rule that Mummys bed is only big enough for 2 and that meant when Daddy was home he slept in his own bed until morning and could then come in for a cuddle. No problems!

Answer 9

Its alright to have the baby in bed with you on the following conditions:
1) No one sleeps with arms and legs flying all over the place, you might hit the baby.
2) No thick comforters, it might suffocate the baby.
3) Make sure the baby sleeps by the wall or else he'll fall off if he's on the edge.

Answer 10

i think from talking to friends etc, nearly everyone does it. as long as neither you or your husband smoke or have been drinking/taking drugs there is no harm.

my daughter is 7 and a half months and she comes in with me if she is sick or has a snuffly nose and needs popped up on a pillow. in this case it's the olny way both of us can sleep.if she is beside me i can make sure she doesn't bury her face in it. i also put pillows along the side so that she can't roll over the edge.

it isn't good for a long term arangement as i don't think the mummy gets a quality sleep as you are always subconciously aware of any movements she makes in case she rolls out. my son got into the habit of it and he was 4 before i got him to sleep in his own bed all the time.

Answer 11

You have to keep two things in mind doing this, you have to know that he will not fall out of the bed, and that he can still sleep by himself. If you decide to start something like this you will have him used to sleeping with you in your bed. If you make this a habit, then he will not want to sleep in his crib. I have done with all three of my kids. You also have to make sure that you will not roll over on him or that he can't get out of the bed by rolling over. I would suggest that you don't make this a habit for him and let him still sleep in his bed so he knows that he is not there all the time. If he gets used to it, he will be hard to put back into his crib to sleep by himself.