I was with my girlfriend for 1 and 1/2 years. She helped me through all kinds of things in my life, including giving me a place to stay when I left my parents house for various reasons. We recently broke up because of my religious actions, like choosing not to celebrate her birthdays or holidays. It has been three months, and I have just mustered enough courage to finally come out with it and tell her. We recently made the decision to be friends, but by things she says and her saying she recognizes I am trying to change and I love her, I believe there is part of her that still loves me. She currently got with another guy like a week ago, and is really afraid of bieng hurt again, which is her reason not to be with me. She says she wants a new life, yet she gives hints she wants me to fight for her. What should I do? Wait for her boyfriend to mess up? Keep asking for another chance? What? I really love her, but she is really afraid of bieng hurt again.
2006-08-05 19:52:55 · 12 answers · asked by Help Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was with my girlfriend for 1 and 1/2 years. She helped me through all kinds of things in my life, including giving me a place to stay when I left my parents house for various reasons. We recently broke up because of my religious actions, like choosing not to celebrate her birthdays or holidays. It has been three months, and I have just mustered enough courage to finally come out with it and tell her. We recently made the decision to be friends, but by things she says and her saying she recognizes I am trying to change and I love her, I believe there is part of her that still loves me. She currently got with another guy like a week ago, and is really afraid of bieng hurt again, which is her reason not to be with me. She says she wants a new life, yet she gives hints she wants me to fight for her. What should I do? Wait for her boyfriend to mess up? Keep asking for another chance? What? I really love her, but she is really afraid of bieng hurt again. I know a part of her still loves me
2006-08-05 20:07:14 · update #1
Look guys, I mean, she said she idd so much for me because:
"I mean, I did so much for you, and stuck with you for so long because I love you. I just want a new life and I don't want to look back. I mean, if it happens once, it will happen again. I want to stay with who i'm with. Lets just be friends."
BTW, she really cares about me. She expresses extreme care for my well bieng, such as me hurting myself.
BTW, my best friend says wait for the other guy to mess up, and in the meantime, continue being there for her and loving her so she can realize she really really loves me.
2006-08-05 20:09:48 · update #2
16? Whoa, 16?
Just chill. It's tough as hell to do, but just chill and just kind of be there for her until she realizes (or doesn't realize) what's right for her. Meanwhile, keep on looking. Most likely since she's also 16, is that she won't figure it out. You both are still so young and will make many mistakes that you'll look back on and wish you did things differently, but that's just life.
Best thing you can do to avoid that is relax, enjoy the moment, and take things one day at a time!
2006-08-13 09:18:14 · answer #1 · answered by Yada Yada Yada 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the break up was recent I find it hard to believe she has another "boyfriend" this soon especially if she really loved you. Give her space if she says she's afraid of being hurt. Go to her and tell her how you feel and tell her when and if she's ready could you possibly have another shot. If things don't work out. This may be your first real heartbreak. Learn from it and it will make you a better man either way it turns out.
2006-08-05 20:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by donise225 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone loves you, let them go. They will come back to you if it was meant to be. Don't wait for a person to mess up, it may never happen. Better to let her move on, and if you both feel the same way at some future time, you can try again.
Caring about someone doing harm to themselves is normal, but it does not mean a person wants to try again. You sound young, life is going to be full of people that come in and out of your life.
After 3 months, I think you may want to think about meeting new people. You both deserve to be happy. If you love her, let her go. Go and meet other people, your life is too short to waste.
At least try to date like she is, maybe you both will work your way back to one another, but if she doesn't at least you were not sitting around waiting.
2006-08-13 01:43:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say follow your heart but try not to get into too much trouble with everything. Wait it out, if your love it true love then it will eventually prevail over everything. Just wait and see what happens, dont alienate her or stalk her about everything. If she really loves you then she will be okay with taking the risks involved with being with you, if not then your love isnt true. I know this isnt what you want to hear but its the truth. You cant convince somebody to love you again, its something that they have to do on their own and it may take some time for her to get the courage to take all the risks.
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-05 20:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u jst let her walk out ur life and u left it 2 l8 as she is now over u... and git anouther guy and moved n with her life.. u should 2 liek the other dude said there are alot of girls out there and if u looked hard enuf u b able 2 find some 1 with the same religion as u or some 1 who loves u4 who u r as u shoudl never change ur self 4 some 1 as then it it never be true love... (and btw im 16)
2006-08-05 20:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
weird.. i was under the impression that birthdays are celebrated in most religions ... but hey what do i know right? ... sounds weird i think u should change religions move on and get a diff girl wth simliar beliefes instead of putting uerself thru this agony. or put uerself thru this knowing she may never say she wants u as a bf. goodluck. i hope u find uerself.
2006-08-13 19:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by blueducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if she truely loved you, then she wouldnt care what religeon you are. You have the rest of your life to find the right girl and i dont think it is her otherwise she wouldnt have went out with a different guy, she would have took you back and i think that it was a stupid reason to break up with you anyways. Try to move on, i think she is just acting like she still loves you b/c she likes attention from more than one man or she likes to lead you on. Good luck and i hope you find someone who loves you more than she did and someone you love more than what you loved her.
2006-08-11 16:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget her. You are only 16. Think about it...there are so many ladies out there. Move to Australia. Maybe your soulmate is there. As far as not celebrating her birthday? Change religions.
2006-08-05 19:58:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jackson675 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say go all out, tell her you can't live without her. If that fails, just be a friend until the other guy screws up. If you're sure the all out won't work, just be a friend. That would be safer.
2006-08-05 21:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude dude dude. I know it's gonna be hard, but let it go man. Yikes. She cares for you, she doesn't want bad things to happen to you, she want's you to be well, she doens't want to be with you. It's real hard to accept, but you must in order to become a man. So be a man and accept the fact.
2006-08-10 18:47:13 · answer #10 · answered by cliffb52 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋