How do i know my wife doesnt love her ex?

Question

Im a cowboy an my wifes into rap and hiphop. Her ex is into all that too but they broke up a year ago because she was tired of his crap. Now, we are recently married an she wrote him a deep email on myspace wondering whats hes doing? am i being too sensitive or is there still love for him in her heart?

Answer 1

My ex was very special to me - we were great friends first and then dated and then I had to leave him, because I was tired of his crap too. When I got married, I wanted to tell him - I don't even know why, but it was important to me. We had a mutual friend who said don't, that it would do him more harm than good to hear from me.

After I was married for about a year, I was getting ready to have our first child even, I did call him and spoke to him. I was so glad to get a chance to tell him what happened and that I wished him love and happiness. He was getting married soon he said, and that was good to hear.

I will admit that there were times in the beginning of my marriage where I wondered what would have happened if I had stayed with him, but really - if it was meant to be, it would have been. There was a good reason to break up and it was probably just nostalgia, me looking back on an awesome life and in a small way missing the freedom and the fun.

Having said that, I would never have hitched my star to his wagon in the long run - we were not compatible. I so totally lucked out with my husband, we are completely perfect for each other and he is so good and responsible that I think very often I would never have embarked on this whole parent thing with anyone else. We laugh and work together and raise our kids together and have a great life.

So based upon my experience, I would say you have nothing to worry about. Your wife had her time with that ex and it didn't work out - and while she may feel love and affection for an ex, she married you. Likely she married you because she loves you and trusts you and can see great things for your future together. Closure is a good thing.

Peace!

PS - I disagree with the previous answer who says "she is keeping her past relationship alive". I think lots of people like to drive past a house they used to live in or catch up with an old friend and have no intention of living there again or even maintaining the friendship. If she keeps in contact with him for some time, I would say she is "behaving in a manner unfit for a married woman" but to have a convo or 2 at this time of transition in her life, I think that is normal.

Answer 2

I am sorry to say that he has used you for the reason that the commencing. Men will handiest do what we ladies permit them to do. You noticed the indicators from the very starting and did not act on them. Yes, along with his first spouse they've a child and he has used him to remain apart of his ex-spouse's lifestyles in a bodily relationship. It sounds as though he is not responsiable ample to peer the damage he has brought on each families. But in time when his youngsters are a bit of older they usually start asking questions, he'll either suppose like a idiot which is an effective thing or proceed to play video games and conceal from the reality. If I have been you, i'd go away him totally on my own however allow him to discuss with his little one. You ought to provide him space so that he will know that what he did wasn't proper and he is triggered his youngsters to view life in this sort of way that it will take another man so that you can marry and start a very close relationship with him to show him how it is to be an actual man. Going from one lady to another is not proper. You deserve better than that and i wouldn't take him again however again, allow him to be aside of his childn's life is what's the center of this entire relationship. Your baby wants to be in a stable dwelling and he has taken that from you. Stand your floor and make him abide some ideas but you must be robust and comply with them yourselve. Listen to something your heart tells you, don't over look and be jealouse of his 1st wife, let that go, be extra involved along with your house so that you just see certainly now. Love yourself enough to stroll away and put your whole energy and love into your child. At some point he will seem again and remorse all...By the way, try not to have an additional youngster every time quickly.

Answer 3

Man O' Man!! Take from another woman, if she's emailing him and wanting to know what he's up to then YES !!! She definitely still has love feeling in her heart. Does that mean that she wants to go back to him? Probably not. but because she obviously has feelings for him she is acting on those feelings by talking to him. You are not being too sensitive, you are recognizing some red flags. I would address it right away and remind her that her behaviour is not proper conduct for a married woman......

Her actions are keeping her old relationships alive and keeping that attachment with someone that is unhealthy will destroy herself and your marriage. She needs to be respectful of your feelings and allow time to fade whatever feelings she has for this EX-boyfriend.

Answer 4

If they have kids together then there will always be a soft spot for him. If not, then you have other problems to worry about. Writting deep letters to ex boyfriends is not the acts of a happy wife. Ask her boldly why? If you don't clear this up now you won't be married a year from now.

Answer 5

Well it really depends on how deep the letter was. Was it intimate in any way? If no, curiosity got to her. I did the same thing with no love towards the other person. Hope it works out well. Just keep her happy and trust her and let her know you trust her, but don't be blind. If she wants out of the marriage she will show it with uncomfort around you.

Answer 6

Had the same problem I knew I was in love with my husband but i could not get my ex out I just had to clean him out of my system we were together for so long I knew i wanted to be with my husband I just had to figure out a way to say goodbye to a life that was mine for so long so don't jump to conclusions too quickly just know that she loves you if you want make her feel like it is okay to talk about it she married you! so trust that I mean it it took me a year to separate in my mind even though my heart was some place else with my husband !!!!!

Answer 7

She married you because you seem like a safe choice. Seems like you wife wants to live in the past rather than the future. Talk to her and start sharing her taste in music to begin with, because marriage is Compromise, Commitment and Co-existence.

Answer 8

i been married and divorced three freakin times. i still have love for my first. although he was a liar and a cheat same as the second and the third. i hate to say it but yes, she probably does, BUT that doesnt mean that she ISNT IN LOVE WITH YOU, i dont care what people say. there is a big difference, loveing and BEING IN LOVE are two different things, dont take it to heart. but she shouldnt be e-mailing him. thats wrong. i dont even do that.

Answer 9

i'm sorry to declare that he has used you with the aid of fact the beginning up. adult men will in basic terms do what we ladies folk enable them to do. You observed the indicators from the very beginning up and did no longer act on them. sure, together with his first spouse they have a baby and he has used him to stay aside of his ex-spouse's existence in a actual relationship. It sounds as though he's no longer responsiable adequate to be certain the wear and tear he has led to the two families. yet in time whilst his toddlers are a touch older and that they start up asking questions, he will the two experience like a fool that's a competent ingredient or proceed to play video games and conceal from the certainty. If I have been you, i could go away him thoroughly on my own yet enable him to flow to his baby. you ought to offer him area so as that he will understand that what he did wasn't perfect and he's led to his toddlers to view existence in a single of those way that it will take yet another guy so you might marry and start up an extraordinarily close relationship with him to tutor him how that's to be a actual guy. Going from one female to a different isn't perfect. You deserve greater effectual than that and that i does no longer take him lower back yet lower back, enable him to be aside of his childn's existence is what's the midsection of this finished relationship. Your baby should be in a sturdy residing house and he has taken that from you. Stand your floor and make him abide some policies yet you ought to be sturdy and carry on with them yourselve. hear to in spite of your coronary heart tells you, do no longer over look and be jealouse of his 1st spouse, enable that flow, be greater worried alongside with your place so as which you notice needless to say now. Love your self adequate to stroll away and positioned all your power and love into your baby. sooner or later he will look lower back and be apologetic approximately all...by using the way, attempt to no longer have yet another baby each time quickly.

Answer 10

It's definitely a wake up call. She may still love her ex, but she married you and want to be with you. Perhaps she emailed him out of boredom... regardless, you two need to talk and share your feelings. Don't make accusations... listen.