christian wife, homeschooling, cosmetologist, not stale, wanting peace love and happiness, life is short, hubby drinks, irritable all the time, constant complainer, good provider, wants kids as friends not very good at disipline, leading kids astray from good morals at times and at times mom having to be mom to all..it's tough.. stay for the kids, get out for the kids? no abuse..just not the path i am on.. hubby is different with his friends and angry with family..sounds unhappy and tired of responsibility also..what do u think?
2006-08-05 17:41:34 · 27 answers · asked by shoehill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What matters is why are you still in this marriage. You don't seem happy. You control your happiness. I left my stale demanding husband and priveledged life and found true happiness.
2006-08-13 11:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by kitty cat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe the question you should is ask your self do you really want this. You should not be asking if he is the one that wants out. are you truely happy or do you tip toe around hoping that the next thing you do or say doesnt throw him into drinking or start a yet another fight. The thing is that if you are a mother your children are your first responsiblity and if you believe he is influenicing in bad morals then you need to fix the problem the way you truely think it should be fixed. Nobody can tell you yes or no that he wants out you should think if there is a problem and there is one somewhere is it worth fixing or should you just get out. I know this is probally a harsh answer but I was in a situation like this before and I finally had to stop thinking about him first and put my kids and myself first and thats what got the problem fixed then. Good luck
2006-08-13 23:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by lucky77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is struggling with depression and an anxiety disorder. You can try to stimulate the marriage, but if he is under the influence and has emotional issues, they need to be addressed first.
Faith can only carry you so far, it is better to be proactive. Go to counseling before your marriage decays. How can he love you when he sounds like he is not in love with himself.
If you love him, you need to find what sparked both your fires in the first place. Learn to laugh together, make a date night, plan alone time. Fight for what you love. You can get it back on track.
He drinks because he is medicating himself, something is causing him pain, pain causes irritability. Find the root cause, help him find joy again. You did it once, because he enjoyed being with you so much you got married, to borrow from a movie... Get your Groove back!
2006-08-13 08:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children come first and decisions about the children do not include you. You need to talk to your children and husband at the same time. We use to have a family meeting that any family member could call and any question could be posed and no disciplinary actions could be taken.
2006-08-13 19:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband sounds like he is behaving how i did till very recently when i had a full breakdown due to clinical depression. I was trying so hard to live the role assignned that i destroyed the things most important.
you need to talk to someone who can give professional help and you need to have patience with your husband, too confrontational and he will see it as an attack, but too soft and, like me, he will think you are imagining it.
if you want to stay together get help soon for the health of both of you and for your family and marriage
2006-08-11 11:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT STAY IN A MARRIAGE FOR KIDS...The biggest hurt to your children is for them to grow up watching a relationship that is meaningless. It is better for them to see Mommy happy and being loverd and shwoping love like it should be.
It is the hardest thing to do, but when children are involved think about them for a change before deciding that staying in a marriage for them is best when it is not.
2006-08-13 19:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both parties are willing I think a visit to a marriage counselor is in order. It's your life, yes you have to think about the kids but you also have to think about the environment they are growing up in. If mommy and daddy are always arguing they would think that's how it should be. Remember adults set the example for the little ones. It's your choice.
2006-08-13 18:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by Firebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like he has a personality in him that you don't except this might be your fault you cannot make him over you have to love the good and the bad except it or leave it sounds like he wants to break loose and take you with him you could probably learn how to relax and he could learn to be more responsible but he wont hear you if you are looking down on him and judging as Christians seem to do you should take a look at it from another view and if you love him honestly you should just ask him if you are stifling him i betcha hell say yes!
2006-08-06 01:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO1.
RUN, don't walk for the nearest exit!.
This piece of shitt needs to lose everything...cuz he cares for none of you...he's a drunk, a m-e-a-n drunk, mean and angry to his family cuz his friend's would tell him to go to hell if he treated them they same way. Yeah, so he's a working drunk...so what?
Constant complainer...goes with the territory.
He's beyond the beyond... and you should do whatever to save your children from this MONSTER. What do you care if he is unhappy and tired of responsibility? Poor baby! It is all an excuse for him to abuse you. Has he kicked the dog yet?
He will!
RUN! NOW1 GO, GO, GO, GO11111
2006-08-13 21:21:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a bit like my story. I stayed for the kids and becasue as a Christian I felt I needed to stay married no matter what.
The verbal and emotional abuse was a nightmare.
I was wrong. so wrong. I c an't say it all here.
You can contact me if you want
2006-08-06 00:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God doesn't make mistakes. He put you together with your husband for a reason. Pray about it...seek some professional christian counseling. Hang in there, the Lord has a plan for you even though it may seem all is lost at the moment. But please, don't consider divorce. Take care. Someone in Michigan is praying for you tonight.
2006-08-06 00:58:16 · answer #11 · answered by Lion Fan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋