I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, divorced, single, 23 and already a mother of a 5 year old.What do I do?

Question

I am really scared to be alone. I just found out I was pregnant about a month ago and I want nothing to do with the man who got me this way. How do I tell my son, and how do I deal with this alone? I live in a very small town and im already "showing", what do I tell people? How do I deal with this? PLEASE HELP

Answer 1

im pregnant and single as well there are so many ups and downs. i broke up with the father of my unborn child before i ever knew i was pregnant, and it hurts emotionally at night when you sleep alone or when you sick and in pain, but just remember your not alone i am one of you, and you just gotta remember there are men out there who you will meet or men you already know who can be more of a father figure then the actual father without anyone realizing it, but do be fair to your child let them know who there real father is, in the meantime, just remember your not alone there are many women just like you in the world! take good care of yourself your already a mommy so i know your a strong woman who can take care of yourself and your babies, keep smiling ok!

Answer 2

Well, you already know the basics. Adoption is up to you, but might be a little confusing for your son. And I think it's too late for abortion. That doesn't leave you much choice. But either way, remember that your child is not, and will not, be his father. Let them know what happened: you ended up becoming pregnant by someone, but things did not turn out and you parted ways. I don't know where you live, but here it would be... well, not acceptable, but people understand. Care for the child, care for your son, and raise them together. It'll be hard, and your child may be a little confused at first, but I'm sure he'll get used to his new sibling and after a few years won't think much of it. I will say, though, that the bigger deal you make about it, the more of a reaction your son will have. If you want him to calmly accept the situation, you will need to present things as close to normal as you can. Again, it's difficult. But you just do the best you can with the situation you are given, and may God, the fates, or whoever or whatever you believe in guide you.

Answer 3

i cant believe some answers u got.
look im 22 and mother of 14 month old boy.at times i thought we would be alone and it scares the hell out of me.just tell ur son that hes gonna have a baby bro or sis, he'll be excited.as for others, its none of their business.if u want ppl to know, u tell them.if they ask tell them what u want, either the truth or none of their business.
when i was pregnant i was asked by a lady if i was 15 or 16.i was gobsmack but i had enough nerve to turn around and say that im 20 not that it was any of her business.another lady overheard the whole thing and told me how proud she was that i was sticking up for myself against such narrow minded ppl.
ur gonna have ppl like that just ignore, find a support group in ur area or some good friends that u can call when ur feeling down.try and stay strong for ur son and ur baby.later in life u'll wonder why u worried so much about it.
good luck and i hope all goes well.my email address if u need to talk is [e-mail] good luck again

Answer 4

What done is done, hold your head up high and don't worry about what other people think. As you know the biggest thing we do in life is give life, you are responsible for this little human for many years to come. Really it never ends, my children are on their own and I still worry and take care of them. This person will bring you so much love and joy that you will wonder what you would have done without him or her. Life has a way of working out even in the scariest of times. Just tell you son that he is going to have a little sister or brother let him be a part of this pregnancy. And if you feel that alone find a support group they will help you. Good Luck and God Bless your little family.

Answer 5

Dear Gentle Spirit, Only you can decide what to do...You actually probably already know in your heart of hearts. Do not rely on the advice of strangers who may have their own 'ax to grind'. They may speak from their own ignorance, intolerance or prejudices. You are the one who must deal with the situation not them. As for your child, perhaps you could just say 'oh, mommy has a baby growing' as casually as if you were announcing the today's temperature. The small town people should not have small minds but rather big hearts. Anyone would be concerned about their future...but remember you have someone wonderful in your future - the mature you and your wonderful family. Be brave and BE BLESSED!!!

Answer 6

Frist, don't panic. You are not the only one in this situation. Many others had the same experience. If they survived you can too.
Sure it is scary. But the responsability for that is not only of the "man that got me that way". It's yours too. Assume that. You already have a son, so as somebody else said, "you know the drill". I think you should welcome this child and give him or her lots and lots of love, being a good mother.
As for scary of being alone, don't worry, you are young and there are lots of good men out there that are not scare of fall in love for a young mother with two children.
Think positively. You will be able to manage that because you are a human being and this is the what life sometimes has for human beings.
Seek support group. I think you shouldn't terminate your pregnancy. Look to your son of 5 years. How do you feel, when you think "if I had terminated my pregancy shen I was pregnant of him, now I would share his life..
Hang in there, girl. Everything is gonna be just fine.
Jose.

Answer 7

You are not alone. God is there. If you're not already a believer, just start praying. Also, I'm sure if you go to a church in the area and ask for the minister, he can help you out a lot more than I can. I might not know you, but I'll pray for you too.

Oh, and abortion is not the way to get out of something. Aborting a child is like murder. You're not giving the baby a chance. Adoption is a better way. My friend is adopted because his first mom couldn't take care of him when he was a baby. I can't imagine thinking of not having my friend because his birth mom aborted him. That makes me sick.

Also, I'm sorry if some of these other people are being jerks. They just don't know what it's like to be in your shoes.

Answer 8

First off, I would talk to a religious leader or someone else you trust about this. There are so many options you have. You don't have to tell your son, and there a lot of good clothes that will hide your pregnancy for a while--people might just assume you are gaining weight. I am 24, and I would give just about anything to be a mom, and I know there are so many people out there that want children and can't have them. If you decide to give this baby up for adoption, that would be very valid. Wait to tell your son until you know for sure what you want to do. Then you can just explain to him that either he's going to have a little brother or sister, or that you are going to have a baby that belongs to someone else because you love them, too. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 9

I'm not sure what the big deal is? My daughter is 20...12 1/2 weeks pregnant..single...lives in a small town..(1500 ppl)...it's NOT a big deal...yes it would be nice if she was with the baby's father...but she's not...oh well...hell I tell everyone I know she's pregnant...instead of looking at the new baby as a problem...enjoy the experience...and if anyone has a problem with it..your attitude should be....Fu*k you!...as for your other child...your son isn't going to know the difference...he'll be excited that he's going to have a new brother or sister...don't worry about that..you don't need to go into detail...just say...guess what son..your going to have a brother or sister in Jan or is it Feb/

Answer 10

this sounds very tricky. why do want nothing to do with the man who knocked you up, to put it crudely!? Does your son know this man? If he has already gone from your life, no doubt your son will at five be occupied with other things - like toys, building things etc. Boys merely need stability - forget trying to be perfect for him - just be yourself. Small towns suck - don’t mean to be rude here though, but wont you have already been judged by them all by now though? So, might as well discount their opinions - you are likely seen as a "bad" girl by them all anyway!

Don’t like being alone? Welcome to the (very very Large!) club!

You need to make better choices next time (listen to me - i am always the sucker for the pretty face etc!). Why should it matter to you what these people think - although, unless you live in a fundamentalist little town, I imagine you might find that if you sought help you would be more welcome than you thought!

I think that the next few months are inevitable at least for you, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 11

Honey we all go thru things that we later regret. But you can't sulk thru life's problems, that's what causes depression. 1st of all, you don't have to tell people nothing, it's none of there bizness. What you do is what you do, if people ask, tell them you would rather not talk about it. If it gets really bad, move to another city. Get in school and get a career started, if you haven't already. This is the time to prepare for the future, you will soon have 2 babies and you have to be the hero to save them from this anguish. You are their provider. Keep praying, God won't put no more on you than you can bear. He is there to give us what we need to survive.