Why do some guys feel they have to control their girlfriend?

Answer 1

I'm so glad you didn't say all of us, and thanks for that respect. I guess I've been doing it backwards for forty-nine years.

I don't make demands, I don't back anyone into a corner, and I don't criticize. If I didn't love her I would never have chosen her-- or accepted her if she was the one who chose me. I hope she doesn't ever change. I love her just the way she is, warts and all.

Me, I don't know if I choose poorly or if this is a common female trait, but she's never perfectly happy or content. In the beginning, yes. I can do no wrong for the first year. Then nothing I ever do is without some minor (or major) criticism or "just a little pointer." My hair, my shoes, my driving, too nice to the waitress, snobby to the next waitress, pay too much attention to her girlfriends, ignore her girlfriends, get "jealous," don't get jealous, work too many hours, don't give her enough time to herself, haven't called her yet today, bug her too much, too many attempts to initiate sex, haven't given her any yet today, put the toilet paper on the wrong way, wrong cat food, forgot parsely again, talked during her show, didn't watch her show with her, etc., etc., etc. Sure, she loves me.

Once every two or three months I might mention something she just did that annoyed me or showed a lack of consideration on her part, and I get the instant crying jag, "You don't love me anymore because if you loved me you'd take me just the way I am!"

Control? Like I said, I must be doing it backwards. I'm not one of those kinds of guys, so I don't know how it is, but is this the same kind of stuff that male conrol freaks do to women? I have a couple of acquaintances that order their wives around, so I see a little of this. In these cases, the wife was my friend, it's her new hubby that's the ****** acquaintance. I don't make friends or stay friends with guys who treat their gfs and wives like that.

So why do opposites have to attract? Why can't the control freaks get together and the ones who are happy and stay happy get together? Why can't two givers ever get together? There's always a giver and a taker. It always seems like it has to be an unmatched set.

Answer 2

It's from observing what goes on at home as a child. Growing up if you were told that the man runs the house and you actually seen your daddy taking control, not being abusive in anyway, just being in control, a boy who grows into a man will think that he needs to be this way with his girlfriend. If he isn't being abusive just looking out for the two of you in the relationship, I don't have a problem with him taking control.

Answer 3

They are usually insecure and shallow. They have a sense of being powerless about the world and to compensate they try to control what they believe to be their possession. Some women do the same to their boyfriends... just sad pathetic people who probably need mental help.

By the way, does anybody else think that blue cole baby has issues? I'm a guy and I've never tried to control any girlfriend of mine.

Answer 4

If they are in control, they can get more sex. Simple as that. Sheesh, what the hell else was going to be the answer?

Then there are more convoluted reasons why they want to do that - it is not simply primeval desire, but also things like low self esteem making them think that if they can't control the girl she'll leave him, and too high self esteem leading to narcism and not feeling for others.

Answer 5

Normally stems from having an over dominating mother. Since they were controlled for a good portion of their life by a female, they, unknowingly, want to control women to in way get back.

Answer 6

Because, in some cultures, the man is often identified by the woman he "keeps". So some men feel that they have to control the gf in order to look better.

Then again, some men are fools to think they can control a woman.

Answer 7

I am a 60 year old man. I have found that men have incredibly fragile egos. There is a macho thing going on that is so easily threatened that they fear themselves. It goes back to the caves and has been promoted by the Catholic church. Before you get on me about being anti-Catholic, take a look at the way the nuns are subservient to the men in the church. They are almost slaves. I pity them.

Answer 8

Because they are pompous, insecure jerks (with definite knowledge of their own shortcomings -- academic, job-wise, intellect-wise, financially, etc) who feel threatened by a female's independence and her spirit, so to make themselves feel better, they start with control and manipulation. From there, it just gets worse, and a female is better off is she just says NO to the guy in the 1st place.

Answer 9

They do this because they get jelous. Lets say your my girl and you are flirtin with some other guy. I'm gunna get jelous... So i feeel I have to control you. I still love you and all I just want you all to me and not some guy that your flirting with. They may also feel this because she can have "PMS" attacks and he can't take it anymore. So he will sit her down and try and figure out whats wrong.

Answer 10

Insecurity and dominance. Some people feel that they have to be dominant and in order to do that they will do whatever it takes to get control over someone.