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My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. I knew that having sex for this first time was a toss up between it hurting and not hurting at all. Well it hurt extremely bad for me, so bad I had tears running down my face. I've read that it is rare for it to be that painful. So we decided to keep attempting in hopes that after a few weeks it would improve, well it still is extremely painful for me to have sex. We were both virgins and we know we don't have any STD's and I don't have any infections. Is this normal? Is it time to go to the doctor? Has anyone had a similar experience? I am so discouraged that it will forever be the most painful thing to do when I know it's supposed to be a great thing. And also...my husband is a little larger than normal, but I also read that shouldn't be an issue because the walls of the vagina are able to stretch to fit a larger one and can also fit to a smaller or average sized one...so then what's wrong with me?

2006-08-05 15:51:45 · 25 answers · asked by maldmb03 3 in Health Women's Health

We have been taking it slow and using a lot of lubrication...it doesn't help

2006-08-05 15:56:08 · update #1

The pain is not deep in, it is outer still, it hurts still to penetrate and is extremely sore around the opening of the vagina and just inside of it...afterwards it almost has a raw appearance

2006-08-05 16:04:34 · update #2

yes, my first and second pelvic exam were painful

2006-08-05 16:09:06 · update #3

25 answers

First, don't have sex for 24-48 hours to give your body and mind a break. (Your mind can create pain if something is happening that makes you expect pain. Weird, but true.) Then, use lots of lubrication, like one of the KY products found near the monthy cycle supplies at most stores. If that doesn't help alot, you should go see the doctor. your hymen may still be partly there, even after all this time, and your OB/GYN doctor can remove it with very little pain. Another 24-48 hours of no sex for your body to recover, lots of lubrication, and there should be no problem with pain after that.

BTW, there are several books out there about how to have good sex that are not pornographic. There are even some written by Christian authors. This one helped my maritial relations; "The Act of Marriage" and I think it was written by LaHaye

2006-08-05 16:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by imzadi 3 · 1 0

There isn't any such factor as a few form of despair ailment that occurs to newly weds. Your American. You moved to a brand new nation. You married a person of a entire distinctive race and tradition. Sounds to me such as you gave up the whole lot to be with this guy. You gave all of it up and on a few degree you realize that you simply did the flawed factor. And your 20. Are you insane?!? Your 20, and married to a muslim guy, that I can wager, he'll certainly not will let you return to the States. Again, your 20. What have been you pondering? Being in love is something, nevertheless it does no longer imply you must get married to end up that. I cannot get my head round this. Of path your depressed. There isn't any 20 12 months historical that I understand whom is married and residing in a entire distinctive international. Let on my own India. Maybe you'll have performed this whilst you have been some thing like 27. You might of been plenty, plenty extra equipped for it. Wow, all I must say is wow. I was once 22 while I married the primary time, and I left while I was once 24. All I can say is well good fortune. In all features. Good good fortune.

2016-08-28 12:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

First of all I want to congratulate you and your husband for being virgins until marriage. That is awesome - you are breed of few and far between. Painful intercourse could mean a lot of things - you didn't mention if you had pain when you went your gynecologist for pap smears? Does your body tense up when anything goes inside of you? Have you ever been sexually abused? - sometimes that has a lot to do with how your body responses to sex. Do you have painful periods? You many have endometriosis - I don't for sure and I sure don't want to assume. Some women have to get their hymen removed just to insert tampons because the hymen just won't let anything in. Go to the doctor you can trust and get to the bottom of the issue. Sex should be an awesome experience not something you hate doing. Relaxation is important but so getting rid of this pain you keep feeling. Go see a pain specialist you can help you narrow down on what is happening inside your uterus.

2006-08-05 16:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by wonderwoman 3 · 0 0

Best wishes on your marriage and saving yourselves until then. You have done the right thing.
Sex is supposed to be wonderful. If you are having troubles and you are using sufficient lubrication (KY jelly or the like), then have a visit to the doctor and see what can be done.
A book that I can recommend is "The Act of Marriage" by Tim LaHaye. It goes over things you needed to know last month!


Where are you having pain? Is it in the vagina itself or is it back further? If it is back further, then you will want to see about a retroverted uterus or something like that.
Another thing to try is ensure that you are having enough foreplay beforehand. 15-20 minutes is what it takes to get a woman aroused so that it won't hurt as much.

Best wishes in getting this sorted out!

2006-08-05 16:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0 0

It hurt for me, too. Part of the reason it is still hurting is that you are nervous, you are expecting it to hurt and are tensing up. Try some lubrication and a little foreplay to loosen up. Although I don't condone drinking, a glass of wine can help relax you enough to enjoy the experience. In time, you will get better at the sex thing and it will no longer hurt.

2006-08-05 15:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by PuttPutt 6 · 0 0

Are you guys having lots of foreplay? You need to make sure you are aroused enough and not too nervous so you don't tense up. Do you let him go down on you or finger you? I know this may sound bad but do you drink? Why not have a nice romantic night planned out and have a glass of wine or two :-) I know when I have wine I'm always not as tense about things. I can tell you some things to do...just send me a message and I will let you know.

2006-08-05 16:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sounds to me that is not just physical pain it is also mental or psycological pain. No it should not hurt so bad that you are in tears. Sounds to me that you already have your mind made up that it will hurt and no matter what it does. Sex by now should be wonderful but your mind is set that it is painful you need to see a therapist if your Ob/gyn can't find a medical reason. As I do not think that there will be one.

2006-08-05 16:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by *bossy* 4 · 0 0

There's nothing wrong with you! What you 're going through is perfectly normal! Try some lubrication when having intercourse and try having sex more often to get your vaginal walls used to your husbands anatomy. If that doesn't work seek the advice of your doctor.

2006-08-05 15:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by KK 5 · 0 0

Go to the doctor. I had the same problem with my first husband, but nothing was wrong with me - supposedly. Just take it slow and try different positions. If size is the problem different positions don't hurt as bad.

2006-08-05 16:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by Beth 5 · 0 0

you are right about the walls of the vagina. my bf and unusually big and it might be painful if we hadn't done it in a while, but not ever excruciating painful. I would see a doctor. They might have some extra tips.

2006-08-05 15:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by lilgracie 3 · 0 0

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