Okay, he is only gone for 3 weeks this time, but he is deploying next month for 16 to 20 months! I think it is really hitting me now because i am just going crazy. I miss him so much already and all i can think about is how i'm going to have to live on my own for 16 months and worry if he is okay. I need some ideas to make the time go by faster. Please help if you have any suggestions?
2006-08-05 15:49:31 · 12 answers · asked by frvriprms 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry! My husband is on his 4th deployment now. In Iraq this time. He's been gone since Jan. 1.
One thing I can tell you, it does get better (or at least easier to get through the day) after he's been gone for awhile. You get back into your regular routine and just get used to living your life without him.
It is extremely important to stay connected with him in an intimate way. I don't mean phone sex or anything, but you need to find a way to keep in touch with each other so you still feel like you are connected. Reminiscing about things, reading poetry on the phone or record it and mail, things like that. My counselor keeps pressing how important this is.
I have been around the military long enough to know how marriages dissolve faster than Splenda. If you cannot keep yourselves connected spiritually, you will have a hard time staying together.
One more thing to remember - it is common to fight a lot right before he leaves. This is a subconscious reaction to him leaving. Subconsciously, your mind feels it would be easier for him to be gone if you were angry at him. Watch out for this!
And get a sex toy...
A final note - I can't believe how inconsiderate some people can be with their answers, especially those who have no experience in this!
2006-08-05 15:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by wyo_me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All these answers are great! Keep busy working or a hobby! Try something you've never tried before! You could also get involved with a support group for family members of deployed soldiers. That way you'll be busy... and you'll be helping other men, women, and kids!! They'll even be there for you when you need them! Good luck to you and God bless! My prayers go with your husband as he serves our country!
2006-08-05 23:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not say if you have children. Do you work,if not find a job, even if part time. You have to keep your mine off him and time will go alot faster. Then in the evenings you can think about him etc. Be getting ready for his return. Alot of service wifes live with there parents till there husbands come home. This helps you and them. Good luck Pem
2006-08-05 22:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a support group, keep busy, find a new hobby (i just started kitting with one of those rings that is really easy to use), start writing letters even if you don't send them, keep a book expressing your feelings so that you get them out, make new friends, go out and spend time doing things that you like doing, if you have kids take them to the park or zoo, start taking care of yourself and treating yourself to pedicures they are awesome if you have not experienced them, do something good for yourself you deserve it, i think that some of the thinking about him all the time will let up after a while, enjoy the break even though you love him, start writing a book, there are some things that might help you hope that you have support and friends
2006-08-05 22:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by i love my dog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you have a life of your own before you met him and married him? If not, you're in deep trouble.
Nonetheless, it's never too late to learn to have one. This might be a good time to rediscover yourself and reacquaint with your good old self. Time to find new hobbies, read new books, make new friends, help someone new, acquire new tastes, travel some.
I hope you didn't get married in a hurry simply because your husband was going to the front.
Good luck!
2006-08-05 22:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully you live in a military community which has the wives support group. Get involved, its a life saver. They have alot of planned activites for the wives, kids and hubby's. Or call the military's family support center, every base should have one. Good luck
2006-08-05 23:07:37 · answer #6 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and keep busy. You can work extra hours, take up a new hobby, or stay busy with friends and family. Try to not sit and dwell on missing your husband, think about good things.
2006-08-05 22:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you work outside the house, have kids? Take up some hobbies, volunteer. Paint the house or redo.
2006-08-05 22:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have children then you should focus alot on them. im sure they feel the loss too.stay close to your family for support.you might even look for a support group for military wives.be strong not only for yourself but yor husband too. he needs you now more than ever.it has to be very hard on him to be away. pray for him as well.
2006-08-05 23:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to school, find a hobby, get a job
2006-08-05 22:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋