They know I don't like it but they say it's not my business. He was a jerk to me (abusive) when we were married (hence the divorce) but he was always nice to them and they didn't know how he acted toward me until we split up. Now they know how he acted then and I'm remarried but they still stay in touch with him? What do you think? It really hurts that they don't respect my feelings and I don't want him to know anything about my life.
2006-08-05 15:13:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have no children together. He jusy has them completely snowed.
2006-08-05 15:33:51 · update #1
I think it has seriously impaired their ability to develope a relationship with my husband.
2006-08-05 15:35:48 · update #2
I think that is very sad and I feel for you. That is just so disrespectful to you. I don't understand why they would even want to have a relationship with him at all when he had been so abusive to you. That's completely ridiculous!
I wouldn't know what to advise you to say, since it seems they are set on their ways and think that you are invading their business. In all honesty, I think I wouldn't call or go over there for awhile. If they can't get how this has hurt you through words, maybe actions will help. If you choose to continue to speak with them, I would be very clear in telling them that you do not want his name brought up at all.
Here is another idea if you would like to continue to ask them to stop talking to your ex...you may need to word things a bit differently. Instead of telling them that you don't like them continuing to talk to him..( they will only refute that by saying it isn't your business) tell them that you aren't going to try to convince them to stop seeing him or anything. You only want to talk about how it makes you feel...about how disrespected you feel...about how hurt you are that they would even want someone there who had abused you. Maybe if they feel like you are trying to help them to understand your feelings instead of trying to get them to stop what they are doing..it will help. I feel for you...good luck!
2006-08-05 16:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It is a touchy thing here. My parents also continue to have a relationship with my ex although they know I would prefer them not to. I guess my mother put it best when she told me "did we pick your friends and tell you who you were allowed to associate with" my dad says it is so the kids can see that even though we arent together anymore their dad is still apart of everyones lives. I have learned to deal with it and my parents know when I am coming around so we don't end up running into each other there.
2006-08-05 15:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents wouldnt think of spitting on my ex if he was on fire, let alone ask for his assistance.
If it were me though and bothered me (which it would) as it does you, then I would distance myself from my parents a little. When they ask why, then explain to them how you feel in depth and without anger. Maybe then they will wake up and realize how hurt you are by it and also how much this man hurt you.
2006-08-05 15:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by needtogetout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should respect your wishes to keep him away. You should point out that you did not burden them with the gory details of the split but that you had cause. They need to decide whether they wish to see you or him. Stay away for a while.
2006-08-05 16:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Total BS!!!!!!!!! I would confront your parents and let them know that it is totally unacceptable that they ask him to do things and that they have no integrity for accepting his help after what he dod to you. I would also mention if his help means so much that you could hire a handyman to come over once a week instead of having your ex come over. I am SO SORRY!
2006-08-05 15:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sharonzeke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's their decision, not yours. But I can completely understand why you're not thrilled with it. The only thing you can do is to NOT share with your parents, and refuse to participate in any conversations where his name comes up.
Just remember, being parents doesn't necessarily make them smart, or sensitive.
2006-08-05 15:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents loyalty and friendship for him are misplaced and misguided. Tell them if they continue to see him, you will cut off ties with them.
2006-08-05 19:49:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no but it still pisses you off i know. my parents still talk to an ex i used to live with. that was 11 years ago.
2006-08-05 15:18:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were once his family too when you were married. And a bond is hard to break.
2006-08-05 15:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not don't worry about it
2006-08-05 15:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋