Hello, me and my husband have been married for three years and have 2 children together we are still in our mid twenties. My husband is an alcoholic however is very adamant that he is not one. I have tried my best to be the wife he one knew because I do love him, but he tells me he does not want to save the marriage because I will never change and that I never was the person he loved in the beginning. Or he will say that he loves me but not in love with me. My husband confuses me so much he acts like he wants to be with me one mintue and then the next he acts like he does not love me or we act like we are married one moment and then the other moment he acts like he is going to submit divorce papers any minute, and he has had a lawyer since 12/05 to help him with his domestic court hearings but I have not got served any papers for divorce as of yet, he keeps telling me that he does not have the money or that he is to busy to get a divorce lawyer, which they are also.
2006-08-05 15:04:35 · 16 answers · asked by Rebekah B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been seperated for 6 months because domestic violence against me but he blames everything on me. I have not testified against him because I wanted to put both of our past marriage issues behind us. Our marriage is heading for divorce/him divorcing me because he states that when I was pregnant back to back that I was very mean (I was mean and he knows I was going through ALOT of things, I come from a very unstable family, him from a very stable home) I have apologized to him so much because I know it takes two in a marriage to argue. Also we have did counseling but he always stops and does not continue. We see each other all the time (non sexual), he moved back in with me about 3 weeks ago but he keep saying he just did it for our children, they are only 1 and 2. I had to put him out recently because he would not stop talking to his ex-girlfriend. I explained to him that it made me feel like he was not respecting me his wife He got mad and said that I would never change
2006-08-05 15:27:25 · update #1
he is an ***. he probably misses being single...it happens to the most loyal ones. to be honest with you , i think you are making it worse...i'm sorry. he probably got you to the point of crying and asking him to not leave. he is manipulating you. in my opinion you should say in very nice but FIRM voice that frankly you've had enough with his games and you want him to leave until he decides what he wants because you don't think you really care and that you are getting annoyed with him. Make sure you also let him know that you are NOT waiting forever. It maybe hard to do so, but if you play it as if he is not the center of your live , it my shock him. you know how it's like when somebody is running after you and then stops...........you want them more then ever...........I'm 26 and been married for 4 years and have 2 moths old daughter...It worked for me. Good luck let me know how is it working for you.(start living your live not his!!!)
2006-08-05 15:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by joanna m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without him knowing start getting your important papers out of the house and other things you need and leave. Then get yourself a lawyer and have them send him the divorce papers. Explain that you can't handle the emotional abuse and that you don't want the children near that. Then take it from there. Trust me being with an emotionally abusive person can cause great damage. I wish you luck.
2016-03-27 00:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by Edeltraud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure, that you must be confused and hurting. My advice to you would be to write down your own feelings about your every day life in a journal or a simple writing tablet every night.Keep doing that for about a month and then read what you are telling your- self. You know deep inside what the right actions are, for you to take. Listen only to yourself. Are you willing to stick it out with him? Is it healthy for the children. Do you really love him or are you just to comfortable to create a new life for yourself and the children.If you are honest in your journal you will find the truth.
2006-08-05 15:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by abbyabbyy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's emotionally abusive for him to be playing this mean game with you. Sounds like he's holding these papers over your head to threaten and manipulate you. I would definitley get out of that marriage, especially with the children involved - it's just not a healthy situation for them or you.
2006-08-05 15:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are some sites for coping with an alcoholic spouse. I hope they help you figure out what to do.
http://divorcesupport.about.com/cs/alcoholabuse/a/alcoholstory2.htm
http://health.ivillage.com/mentalhealth/mhaddiction/0,,45n1,00.html
http://www.nh-dwi.com/caip-228.htm
http://www.stayingcyber.org/scarchive/dm031499.htm
One former alcoholic said the only way his wife could get through to him that he had a problem was by leaving him. At that point he woke up and got help.
2006-08-05 15:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ginger/Virginia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it sounds like your marriage is all but over except the paperwork. You need to consult with a lawyer. I suggest you start the process yourself and don't wait for him.
2006-08-05 15:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing mind games with you. Keeping you around until something better comes along. You need to dump this loser and find someone who loves YOU and wants to be with YOU and cares about YOU.. You deserve much more than you are getting frrom this butthead.. Sweetie, Stand up for yourself and tell him to move on. Why would you want to be second best for anyone?
2006-08-05 15:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by jaantoo1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dayum, You need to go to Al-non, or something like that. It is for people who have someone in their life who is an alcoholic. You say you love him?? How can you live like this, I would personally serve him with papers. Why wait?
2006-08-05 15:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of there, sweetie. It sounds like he's had the opportunity to straighten himself out, but hasn't. When I got divorced, a well-meaning person asked me how I dared to subject my kids to a broken home. I told her that the home was already broken, and I fixed it. "Till death do us part" does not mean "ride it out until one of us is dead"
2006-08-05 15:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by mezzochoirsinger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is bi-polar and should get help with his mental illness but I also think you should be the one to serve the papers and get the heck out while your 2 kids are sane!!!!!
2006-08-05 15:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by Sharonzeke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋