I know time heals all, and I am also praying about it and walking 3.5 miles a day for stress/exercise, but how do I get past this? And FYI, It is not love feelings I have - it is hate.
2006-08-05 14:05:15 · 14 answers · asked by DianneSB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE FILED FOR DIVORCE LAST WEEK...and I'm glad. I wanted to months ago but was being nice to him because he asked me to wait...
2006-08-05 14:16:39 · update #1
There is only one way to get through this...just stop it! It is you creating the feelings, not him. It is your chemical mix that makes your feelings...so don't allow this to happen. By devoting time to negative energy, you are wasting time and energy to make a good life for yourself. The best revenge is success! So become successful, not a poor, poor pitiful me person. Go for it, it is inside you to do this. When you feel the hate coming in, just say NO! It works, but it takes some practice to break old habits. Start right now. Good luck
2006-08-05 14:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What made this such a dishonest marriage? If you hate someone that bad it is time to leave, the hate will each you up and not only that the stress will make you ill. Your health is more important than anything else. Before you realize it you will start to resent life in general. I wish you the best. After reading some of your other questions now I know why your staying. While having to do this it is best to think positive and know that with each new day it will bring you closer to getting out on your own. What a terrible place to be in with your life after going into a marriage thinking it would last a lifetime. I truly hope this doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth and that one day you will be happy with someone. In the meantime pray and know that God is there for you.
2006-08-05 21:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a painful thing. When trust is broken, there is no recourse. It takes a very long time to heal from a broken heart, and 3.5 miles a day is not the answer (althought it helps). It takes even longer to trust again. If you truly want to get on with your marriage, you have to learn to forgive first. You will never forget, but you will have to learn to forgive. If you can't forgive, then you might as well start packing and making divorce plans. There will never be peace, love, or happiness in your home if you don't sincerely forgive and never bring up what had happened in the past. Should it happen again, then you have no recourse but to leave for good.
2006-08-05 21:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by munznyc2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I did when I went through hurt and anger I did some of the same things you are doing now plus I buried myself in work. There are two very good books I read that can really help you out through some of the harder times: Prayer, Faith, and Healing by Kenneth Winston Caine, Brian Paul Kaufman, and Bernie S. Siegel. Then there is the book
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth by Iyanla Vanzant . Please keep in touch and let me know how these help and how you progress. Hope all of this helps
2006-08-05 21:17:31 · answer #4 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it comes down to this;are you better off staying in this marriage with the way you feel and knowing this problem could occur again or are you better off bailing out now knowing you wont have to continue putting up with this crap ever again? Can you ever totally retrust your partner? Does your partner truly deserve someone like you? Time does heal all somewhat except for the memories, but under which condition does it heal faster? And the biggest, is this marriage worth saving? Only you have the real answers you seek. Good luck
2006-08-05 21:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it be .Beat it . What's done is done ...now u can't change the past but u can change ur future ...it is in you to keep going w/ all the hating thing or just try to 4get about it ...to have some fun will be a good option to start with ...lots of laughter ...the best medicine 4 all the pains that life brings to us !
2006-08-05 21:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by wenckiepr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep walking. Exercise was my savior in getting over my divorce. The hate and rage slowly disappeared with each mile I ran especially when I realized she was losing more than I was.
2006-08-05 23:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Paulee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need a little help. I remember a therapist telling someone very close to me to get a big foam pillow, pretend it was the ex, and beat the h___ out of it with a stick or club or plastic bat. Hope you find a way 'cause hate doesn't lengthen your life.
2006-08-05 21:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let the hate run your life, you're giving him the ability to influence your life once again. You have to decide that hating him and being angry is a place you don't want to spend energy, time or a single thought on...ever again.
When you start to go there...tell yourself...no, he's not going to ruin the rest of my life. It's mine now.
You can do it, if you want to.
2006-08-05 22:10:25 · answer #9 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, realize you're a good person and if you were told lies then, it wasn't your fault. you'll just really have to try hard to let the anger go. i'm sure you're mad as heck, but concentrate on your health. Stress is horrible for your body...from heart problems to wrinkles.
2006-08-05 21:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋