All right.
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. I love him more than anything I know he feels the same way about me. Here's the problem: He was talking to 3 other guys online for about a month. I wouldn't mind if I believed they were only friends, but there was quite a bit of "naughty talk" and they exchanged nude pictures of each other(these were pictures he said he took for me). When I found out about it, I was completely crushed. He says he never intended on meeting any of them, but to me, it was as though he had cheated. He is completely remorseful for what he did, and I believe he's genuinely sorry, but I don't know that I really trust him anymore. I guess he never really did anything so completely horrible, but I felt completely betrayed and I can't stop feeling hurt by what he did. I really want to be with him, but I can't stop being angry.
Should I break up with him? Am I over reacting?
2006-08-05 14:04:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This is a Serious Trust issue, and I've gone through something like this before. You've got to listen to Your Heart on this one. Good Luck with this, Man.
2006-08-05 14:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by M L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at this point you might be over reacting. The issue at hand is that your boyfriend betrayed your trust with the online flirting. He in his mind thought that perhaps it would be safe and nothing could come from it. However; it was unfair and he actually let you down. However; as you have indicated, he has shown remorse for his actions and is trying to make it up. Please give him time, and watch his behavior. If he's showing tendencies of unfaithfulness; then close the door on this chapter. However; I think things will improve and work out for you guys. Just give him a chance again.
2006-08-05 21:36:45 · answer #2 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is just talking that is one thing. But the fact that he is exchanging nude photos of himself with others that is very wrong. I would tell him that this is total disrespect to you and that it hurts you. Tell him how you feel now. Tell him that the hurt is deep and you dont know if you can fully trust him. Perhaps he did just make a foolish mistake we all do from time to time. You two really need to sit down and have a long talk about this. I am willing to bet there is more to it than meets the eye. Perhaps there was a reason he did it. I would be willing to be that you to have not really sat down and talked about this heart to heart. Do it before the negative feelings get worse and this situation really gets bad.
2006-08-05 21:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by Rob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably you should not break up with him, but you should doubt he is truly remorseful. He is probably just working you past this crisis point because, yes, you seem prone to over-reacting.
Of course you need to set limits on what you will tolerate, but you also need to talk with your guy about what is really going on when it comes to how he thinks of you and how you think of him, as well as what you each expect from the relationship. Try to find a way to grow with him, not just demand that he come up to your level of maturity.
2006-08-06 01:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like 2 me u really love this guy and want 2 b with him so bad that it hurts. but what he did 2 u was very stupid and selfish. did he really think u weren't going 2 discover him? in my mind, i think he cheated on u. u trusted him and gave him ur whole heart and what he did, was like spitting u in the face. if i were u, i would sit down and talk 2 him about it. tell him that u still love him and want 2 b with him but ur still thinking about what he did 2 u, that u can't get over it. if u guys talk about it without fighting, u guys will b cool. i don't know if this is good enough but i hope everything works out. if u do catch him with another guy, especially in bed, let him go. don't put up with his crap. ur better off without him but that's only if it does happen. try working things out and hopefully ur relationship with him will b better and more loving. Good Luck!!! ^_^
2006-08-05 23:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by emilytobey@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are based on trust.
I learned also that everybody deserves a second chance, but not more than that.
Love overcomes everything.
Put this things together and make up your mind. It has worked for me.
Good luck
2006-08-05 21:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by alfcarco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're bound to feel hurt and mistrustful. Give it time and talk your feelings through with him. Your relationship has been knocked but it doesn't have to be over if you can both agree on the way forward.
2006-08-05 21:14:14 · answer #7 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is the most important thing in a relationship, you've lost all faith in him and you can never trust him again, so move on. if he was talking he was probably hooking up, thats just the way it is. make a clean break and take some time to heal for yourself..............good luck!!!
2006-08-06 03:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been down this road before, sweetie. All I can tell you is if it smells like a rat, it's a rat. I've been on both ends of this situation and speak from experience.
2006-08-05 21:27:59 · answer #9 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me as well, 1 month ago. (9 month relationship) I confronted him, he was extrememly embarassed and he promised it would never happen again. To my knowledge and from what I've seen it hasn't. If it happens again? We're done.
2006-08-05 21:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋