children. I know both these families but are good friends with the lady having the affair. How do I react when she tells me ( at the moment I have found out from someone else). I do not agree with what she is doing and feel she has made a big mistake. Do I tell her I dont agree. I feel that I can not continue our friendship anymore. What should I do?
2006-08-05 14:00:58 · 17 answers · asked by frank 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
be gentle, but be honest
it will probably not make any difference in her affair, but at least she will know where you stand on the issue
2006-08-05 14:05:17 · answer #1 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your feelings - you are in a difficult position as you know both families. Just tell the one having the affair what you feel.
Maybe you should still be friends but back off a bit - She'll probably be too busy with her 'new man' to bother with you anyway.
2006-08-05 22:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by Curious39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you just typed. That you don't agree with her decisions, and that you feel as though she's throwing away her life. And also that you feel as though you guys can't be friends any longer. I think that once you tell her that, or once she hears that then she will really start to think about the direction in which her life is going. Or maybe not. Maybe she'll try to curse you out or try to push you away because she thinks that your turning your back on her and she might even hate you for it, but you have to live for yourself and realize that **** is going to hit the fan once she makes all these changes. And with you being her friend, all of her drama is going to come your way and into your life, and I don't think that you really want that.
2006-08-05 21:21:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is truly a friend, tell her what you think.
You let her know you do not agree. If you feel you cannot continue the friendship, let her know why. It is up to you to protect yourself from immoral values.
I suspect she will lose a lot of friends, this way. The trust will be gone, how can you or other female friends, trust her around your husbands.
2006-08-05 21:15:12 · answer #4 · answered by Seeking 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her the answers from the bible. Tell her what she's doing is committing Adultery, unless her husband is unfaithful, she has no right to fall into the arms of another man, and married too. See Romans chap. 7 v.1-5 The word has the wisdom of God, he knows what is best for the Happyness of people. I'd add more, but you get the point.
2006-08-05 21:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look, most of the people asking questions here want to vent rather than solve a problem. Even if your friend were to ask you what she should do, she probably knows what she's going to do. Me? I'd let the friendship slip away. You'd be a good friend, I'll bet.
2006-08-05 21:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
telll her exactly how u feel n a letter make a copy of the letter 2 keep so when she falls on her face u can remind her that u did not agree with this horrible mistake she is making and yes leave her alone she is bad news 4 now b patient she will b calling on u soon.
2006-08-05 21:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by mf mf mf mf mf fmf mf mfmfmfmfmf 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't tell her she is wrong.But you should tell her immediately that you can't continue the friendship. Then when she ask why tell her all your feeling and drop her as a friend you can't preach to her and make her see the light.
2006-08-05 21:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by GoldenGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. They're breaking up not one but two marriages, and you know both of the marriages involved. Tell her you think she's making a mistake and you don't want to be in the middle of it.
2006-08-05 21:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
faced with the same situation I confronted my friend and told her that I felt she was being unfair to her husband, children and her lovers wife and children.
I told her how much I cared for her but as she was doing something that I did not agree with or understand that I could not offer her support but could advise her to o home and talk to her husband and be open and honest with him.
She asked that I say nothing to him but I told her that if he asked me straight out I could not lie to him as he was my freind too.
This is now many years later. My friendship with her did fail but she is still with her husband and children.
2006-08-07 19:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her your fears tell her you dont want to be a part of it even as a friend tell her b4 she tells you, but you dont need to tell her who told you, it is hard being in the middle of a break up there are to many now a days, at one time they made there bed & lay in it, now they make there bed & lie in some one elses,
2006-08-05 21:12:04 · answer #11 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋