Does anyone get divorced just for the simple reason that their spouse's attitude, in a nuttshell, is usually negative (generally complains about everything under the sun) and he has no motivation to better himself or make a better life for his wife? I feel like I need some huge drama to divorce, but I just want to be happier. Is that selfish?
2006-08-05 13:58:05 · 21 answers · asked by animal_mother 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's been like this for 2 years. he has even told me he has no desire to better himself, have goals, etc. he's not romantic, compassionate, etc. i see other married couples who seem so in love and get jealous.
2006-08-05 14:10:46 · update #1
You have the right to by happy. You also have the responsibility to make yourself happy. If you're not happy, and don't want to be married to him...you don't need drama as a reason.
I was married to a man who could find a dark cloud for every silver lining. I never realized just how depressing it was living with that until I got away from it.
There's nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish...and you have the responsibility to yourself to lead a happy life.
Good luck.
2006-08-05 15:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kaia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Are you going to be happy with the next guy? It's weird seeing so many 'Do it' from women on here. Is that why the divorce rate is so high. That's why I'm never getting married. If you think life is always going to be an 'up' and never a 'down' period, you're never going to be happy.
2006-08-05 21:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband needs a friend not a divorce. I am not a doctor, but if he was not like this before you married him, he may have some mental health issues. Check his family history, mom and dad, grandparents etc. and see if they suffer the same symptoms. mental illness runs in families and gets worse in many cases with age.If, however, this is just his nature and he was this way from the start then ...
2006-08-05 21:30:05 · answer #3 · answered by patricia_hyland72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not selfish at all. If your spouse has no ambition or motivation now, your situation will most likely remain that way forever. You can't change people, so don't even try. Your spouse is the one who must be willing to make the change within himself.
2006-08-05 21:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think its selfish cause he didnt act this way b4 getting married right? so why the change i think he's being selfish every1 deserves to be happy and he's choosing to try to make you miserable i would say try to talk to him but he sounds like he would just argue and complain so why give yourself the headache take time away from him so he could see what he has and try to make himself a better person for the sake of your marriage
2006-08-05 21:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by dominicana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any kids in this marriage?
If no, then I'd say you have plenty of reason to get out.
You had the talk with him, and he's happy being the way he is, so you're only option is to get free of him... what kind of life partner is he being for you? Spouses are suppose to be allies, not anchors.
2006-08-05 22:24:11 · answer #6 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
H--- (read "heck" there) no, it's not selfish. Relationships, including marriages, are two way streets and if yours is all one way or one way in this particular area, you need to make changes. You probably won't want to hear the next part. We teach people how to treat us and your husband needs to be re-taught. Kindly and gently tell him things are going to change one way or the other. Offer to go into counseling. But stick to your guns. You've got the right and the duty to yourself to be content and happy.
2006-08-05 21:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a bad reason for divorce sweetie. i suggest conseling . if that doesnt work then maybe you should really concider it. no one should have to live thier life miserable because someone else is.
but may i ask why did you marry someone like that if you didnt like it. i'm sure he didnt just wake one day and become another person. think about why you married him.
good luck !!
2006-08-05 21:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by bigmommy240 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.. it is not selfish.. your husband has the same condition as mine. Its called visualrectumitus. That condition persists in people whose main nerve of their eye gets connected with the main nerve in their a** and has a *****y outlook on life. Good luck. There is no cure.
2006-08-05 21:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is an up and down thing. People's attitudes fluctuate.
That being said, being happy is important. But IMO too many people don't take marriage seriously. They bail when they think it is convenient. I don't know if that is you are not, of course.
2006-08-05 21:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by kako 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋