can someone explain a concept of love to me?

Question

my exbf really wants to get back together but he's too "burnt out" and "exhausted" from the intense fights we had and the hurt that still remains. he loves me eternally but he cant be with me.

i dont understand.. can someone explain how you can love someone so much but not want to (or be able to) be with them?

specific examples (your own life) would help.

thanks.

meaning, can someone elaborate as to why he cant be with me

says judy,
Your relationship has to be more than that, you should be having fun together, look forward to seeing each other, have common interests and goals.


we did have a lot more than fights. but the fights were really bad. that is the reason he is scared to jump back in. but if he loves me why cant he risk it?

Answer 1

One aspect of true love is caring for another’s happiness above that of one’s own. It is reasonable, and really mature, in this state of mind to separate yourself from one you love if you are making them unhappy.

I fell in love with a married woman and she, with me. We wanted each other, but I knew that we would be hurting a lot of people if we didn’t stop. If we did that, than she would be miserable over it for her entire life. I still love her, but I will never see her again. She will be happier because she never betrayed her loved ones.

Answer 2

Through my experience I have found that even when you love a person and all you do is fight that is not healthy. Sometimes in being in a relationship when it is time to move on we don't get the hint. Our feelings get in the way of us seeing what is really best for us. I had to learn that once I had done all that I could do in the relationship it was time to move on (no matter how it hurt). People are only in our life for one specific reason and then it is time to let them go and do what God has plan for them or us to do. I mine reason was to learn how to love on a much higher level and how I wanted to be treated in a relationship without the arguing, stress, dishonesty. But you have to find your own path and have the courage to follow it. Sometime we have to love from a distance. Hope that this helped you.

Peace and Love.

Answer 3

, most young adults get lust and love confused with each other. sometimes after you mature a Little more, you become more aware of the difference and that comes from learning your own feelings and going through your own experiences. Love hurts at times. but it shouldn't. only time will heal the hurt . sometimes we are better off with out the person we think we love ,because they can bring out the worst in you. that's why it's hard to be with someone and they don't want to be with you or vise verse.. although you both love each other, your better off apart. If all you do is fight, that's not a healthy relationship. apologize if i have totally confused you. that wasn't my intention.

Answer 4

Welcome to the real world. Love has this fine line between hate and love. So many think there is this perfect love where it last for ever and all relationships have thier problems. But the best part is no matter what you always are there for each other. It will be like a rollar coaster and it will have its bad along with its good but hand in there and it may be all good.There is this saying if you let it go and it comes back it was meant to be but if it dosent it wasnt meant to be.

Answer 5

He can't be with you because the price is to high, you said it best "he's to burnt out and exahausted from intense fighting. Your relationship has to be more than that, you should be having fun together, look forward to seeing each other, have common interests and goals.

I certainlly would not spend my time with someone if it was all about fights.
Life is to short.

Answer 6

It boils down to how each person defines Love. If fighting all of the time and making is your definition of Love then you better find someone who also defines it that way. Love is also defined as patience, understanding, kindness, open communication and forgiveness then someone with that definition needs to be with someone who also defines Love like that. Someone can tell you that they Love you and you wonder why they treat you so bad. Well, because they do love you but with their definition of Love and perhaps he or she is doing the very best they can. However, if your definition is different and is not meeting your personal need then.....it is not going to work. So, again, Love is a personal decision and definition.

Answer 7

It's true that everyone has their own expectations as to what love is. But, for example, the man I have loved for 20 years...we've only been together for about 6 of them (off and on). He has traits that no man has been able to come close to, but we have spent most of our time apart because we are very different in some very important areas such as child rearing, money, security, occupations, and where to live. I am still hoping for us to overcome these obstacles through maturity and understanding, but sometimes emotions aren't simple.

Answer 8

If you describe yourself as too much in love with yourself, then you're a narcissist. If you can't get past that enough to relate to other people enough to form a relationship then that is something you should probably get counseling on. Otherwise, you're selling yourself short and setting yourself up for disappointment if you ever hope to find romance.

Answer 9

love is when u have found someone u think about all the time and couldnt ever live without and need every second of your life, love is finding someone u can do anything with and tell anything to, its basicly finding who fills u up and who u have been searching for your whole life

Answer 10

You can have feelings of love for someone and care what happens to them in the future, but you cant be with them because the relationship is volatile.