my friend had an argument w her bf she went outside for air he followed her saying nasty things 2 her like he?

Question

dont like to take her out ne more she would never be nothing shes a bum and she said he started talking about there sex life (oral) she came to me in tears i felt so bad for her she had a surgery a few days ago and it seems like all he wants to do is fight with her i told her to leave him alone just go back to where shes from and 4get about him i'm the only friend she has since moving here almost 2 years ago she's really nice and i think he takes advantage of her he dont like her to hang out with any1 when he leaves her home alone on weekends so he could party with his friends i have run out of advice for her and i feel bad she asks me why cant she just leave him i tell her she will leave when the time is right for her i think her bf needs help does any1 think he has some issues or just cheating?

Answer 1

He is emotionally abusive. She should leave him immediately, before it gets worse and/or becomes physical abuse. It rarely if ever gets better.

I say this as a counselor who has counseled many, many women in abusive relationships. Can abusive people change? Of course, if they want to. But I have never personally seen it happen. They pretend to change, but is just part of the control, getting the other person back, and the abuse always returns.

So, she should leave, but unfortunately there are often complicated reasons why a women does not leave. It's never because she likes abuse. (With physical abuse the most common reason a woman stays is that she fears for her life -- a realistic fear of a man who has said "If you leave I will kill you" or "if you leave I will kill your kids" etc.) With emotional abuse it is usually because she believes he will change someday and at some level has such low self-esteem that she doesn't believe she will or can find better. Also, abusers can be quite nice when things are good (part of the manipulation). Often she may have a history of abusiveness in her family, but I don't know your friend's exact situation.

You can't make her leave. I know it's frustrating. You can only be her friend, tell her what you think, and encourage her to respect herself enough to end it now before it gets worse, which it will.

Your friend would benefit from having a counselor to talk to. The question she asks Why can't she just leave him? is one she needs to ask herself, and it will be easier to answer it with the help of someone trained in such situations.

Answer 2

I think the time has definitely come for your friend to say enough is enough. No person should ever have to put up with crap like that from anybody for any reason. Theres too many decent people out there for your friend to have to endure this mental abuse. No guy anywhere is worth this. I know some girls and guys put up with this crap out of what they think is love, but they are just plain idiotic and afraid to move on. But get her moving before something serious happens and its too late. Good luck

Answer 3

He has issues. Being verbally abusive to his gf is only scratching the surface.

But your friend has issues, too. Like why she doesn't have the self-esteem to leave someone who treats her like this.

Suggest maybe she see a professional therapist or counselor for help. She deserves better than some schmuck.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Is there some reason why you can not use a .? I mean that is just one long run-on sentence. Good grief! Take an English class.

Answer 6

He has issues alright. He is on an ego trip, her best bet is to get out soon. She will not feel better about herself, until she gets out of that nasty situation.