My wife has stated she will NEVER give/receive oral again.?

Question

I respect her wishes, and have been faithful our entire marriage, but those are my FAVORITE things. I don't want to live the rest of my life without it. How can I resolve this without being unfaithful?

I don't consider divorce an option, and I still love her VERY much. She's an awesome wife in almost every other aspect of our marriage. Do you think seeking JUST elsewhere would be wrong? (Presidential theories aside)

Answer 1

First of all, I hope she has *no* idea that you asked this question here, especially that last bit (which, yes, would be wrong of you to do). Otherwise, you're going to look desperate.

Second, to explain why this may have arisen (so to speak), it's possible that your wife thinks you enjoy receiving it too much, or that perhaps you don't do her as much as she does you in that regard. In addition, if you do her (and she enjoys it too much), she'll feel obligated to continue doing you, so that means to cut out all forms of oral means she's off the hook.

Stay faithful.

Now, why would she need to feel this way? Well, I hate to be cynical, but it's possible that she has too many friends feeding her a bunch of bull about her doing it because she's submissive or something. Others have told you to ask her why she would suddenly put forth this ban, and I concur that you two need to discuss it. It's not healthy for either of a married couple to withhold sex in any form (yes, Mr. Clinton, oral sex IS sex, no matter what "is" is), and in time, your wife might decide that *all* sex is bad.

You should be able to discuss anything, and I mean *anything,* with your wife - as long as you're not telling her you've cheated, you no longer love her, you wish your kids had never been born, etc., you should fear *no* retribution on her part. If she starts finding fault with you and uses that to "justify" her oral ban, then she needs counseling. And "counseling" doesn't mean that a male counselor is "obviously" part of some phantom male collusion conspiracy regarding getting a good regular BJ. Heck, seek a female marriage counselor if counseling becomes necessary.

But enough of me potentially fostering paranoia. All you can do right now is discuss this rationally with your wife, and continue to respect her wishes as you have been. In the meantime, look to some other things (sexual *and* non-sexual) that can become favorites as well.

Answer 2

Take out Ohio, Florida, Minnesota, Michigan, Wisconson, North Carolina, Virgina, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Colorado, and Iowa. Those are states that have always swung one way or another. NY, CA, MA, ML, HA, OR, WA, RI, VR, IL, and Connecticut are usually solid democrat, but parties change, so I wouldn't say "never". California was a Red state for the longest time and Texas was blue. It's the opposite today.

Answer 3

I don't know how long you've been married but it sounds like she might have had a bad experience if she wants to give it up all of a sudden. Sit down and talk to her and ask her why. Suggest counseling if you have to.

P.S. Seeking oral outside the marriage is still cheating IMO.

Answer 4

Was this a sudden decision? Did she tell you why? There has to be a reason why she would make such a bold statement. Talk to her, tell her how you feel about it, that it's something you need and really enjoy! If she loves you, and she realizes how important it is to you, then she'll be willing to compromise....just don't put pressure on her about it, that won't help. Have a situation where she'll really enjoy it again, start slow and then try building it up next time.
Good luck!!

Answer 5

What made your wife decide this? But to stop a sexual act that you found very pleasurable before and during the marriage. Needs more justification to it than just a "I don't want to do this anymore". What if your told her I don't want sex with you anymore,she would be furious and demand answers. Make your wife tell you what the problem is,ask her was she faking her sexual desires just to get that ring on her finger.

Answer 6

ask her why. maybe she just doesn't like it anymore OR it's been done too much OR maybe it doesn't satisfy her?? sometimes guys fail to realize that some of us women would rather have the intamacy. and above all, if you love her you will make the sacrifice. just as i'm sure she has made some sacrifices for you. but if you find out why, you might be able to compimise. and elsewhere should be out of the question if you love her that much. good luck

Answer 7

Why has she stated this? I think finding that out and seeing if that can be resolved is better than cheating on her (and yes, getting oral sex outside of the marriage without her knowing would be cheating).

Answer 8

Ask her to go to counselling with you and even though it's embarrassing you have to tell her in front of the counsellor how important it is to you and how upset you are and how it is your favourite thing and how it makes you feel that she won't do it. I think that's terrible of her, expecially if she did it before but won't now. HOWEVER make sure you are clean. Is that maybe why she won't do it? I used to love doing it but my husband has a cleanliness issue so now I very rarely do it. but only because of him not caring if he's clean or not.

Answer 9

Get some of that great tasting Wet. there is many different flavors, and ask her to try those for a change. Talk to her and tell her how you feel about it. Let her know that it means something to you. But reallly try the flavors.

Answer 10

What are her reasons? It sounds like she's making a huge blanket statement about a sexual activity and if she doesn't have a good reason, then perhaps it's time to seek counseling.