How many of you are in an unhappy marriage?

Question

...and why do you choose to stay in it?

Answer 1

I am..

I'm not choosing to stay in it but it takes awhile to earn your way out. We've tried counseling and all sorts of things but the love is gone. I'm coming to the understanding that its time to go but it is incredibly difficult.

You have to weigh all of your options... think carefully... and then make your decision. Life really is too short to be unhappy, we need to take responsibility for our own happiness.

Answer 2

Well, I'm not married, but I am in a miserable live-in situation. I'm here at this point because weird things keep happening that cost money. However, as far as the relationship goes, sometimes you remind yourself that there was love once and you try to get back to it.

In my situation, I have put so much into this house that I have had a hard time walking away. Recently, I had a major surgery and his behavior and the things he said to me confirmed that there is nothing here. I have finally made up my mind. This relationship is over and I'm letting everything go.

With many people, it's not so easy to just walk away. Sometimes there are other underlying stressors in a relationship which have to be worked out. That's when counseling comes in. As I mentioned before, I am not married, we didn't take those vows, and I can walk away. For a lot of married people, the ceremony holds a lot of weight. The years of happiness before the pain came along, holds a lot of weight. Sometimes people lose site of what went wrong, what made things work, and what steps need to be taken to get back to well being in the marriage.

As time goes on, work related stress kicks in, health issues develop, both of these situations can put a strain on finances. The children, if there are any, begin growing up and sending the parents through changes, there are so many variables. Being unhappy in a marriage doesn't mean you have to give up. It frequently means you have to get back to basics and find solutions.

Answer 3

I was in an unhappy marriage for 24 years. When we were dating she was thin and clean and fun to be with. As soon as we were living together I learned that it was her mom that kept the house and made her wash up. After a few months I realized we were not happy but then she informed me that we were going to have a child. I stayed with her through 3 children because I thought I should. You know "for better or worse". After the kids were grown I could lo longer stay.

Answer 4

I was in an unhappy marriage for 17 years and I chose to stay there because the kids were small and I didn't think I could make it on my own. When my ex finally found someone who would take him in AND have sex with him, he left us and I found out the hard way that I could stand on my own. That was almost 10 years ago and the kids are doing great and I'm remarried for a little over a year, and doing fine. (my ex found out that he could not survive on his own. His second wife divorced him and then he depended on his elderly parents for help and now is married to a truly dominant woman who runs his life and he's happy to let her do it.) Thanks for letting me vent.

Answer 5

ok, first of all I am married for 17 yrs, and been with my husband for 27 years. Yes, I am unhappy......But why do I stay....well, he is a powerful man and will take everything from me, even what's mine. In two years my son will go to college and he won't have to make a choice anymore. I also stayed because my kids did not want to spend time with him alone and without me. He is very hard on them, very strict, and it's easier if I'm there for them. Basically, it would have been very hard on my children if we split up.

Answer 6

I am in an unhappy relationship, and I am in the process of leaving...I have been in it for 8 years...It will be hard financially but I refuse to mess my kids, (my girls), up with drama...I have to be an example for them...If you are unhappy, things shouldn't make you stay...Material things come and go and I don't want no one having that much power over me in thinking I need things from them to make me happy, I'd rather stuggle and get them myself than to be miserable with you depending on someone....I believe I will be alright, at first I was afraid, but now I realize, I can make it on my own, I did it before and I shall do it again...I don't want my children to meet men and think it is okay to stay in a messed up situation...There are choices we make in life and I chose to be happy, I am responsible for there well being in teaching them to live a productive life....Men come and go and I refuse to stay where I have to question whether or not I am loved...I will be okay....So will all of you....Life is too short...it is too much happening in the world to be bogged down with drama....I want to experience life...The A side not the B side....

Answer 7

I have been married for 14 years and am happy for the most part. I have no idea why people stay if they arent happy.

Answer 8

My parents are now divorced but when I was a kid they would fight non stop and my mom told me the only reason they didnt get a divorce was because they had kids that were younge.

Answer 9

I'm in a happy marriage...I'm sorry that you don't have that...but the best of luck next time.

Answer 10

I am but I stay because it would devastate my daughter if I left.