At what age are children best able to handle parents' divorce?

Question

Okay, I know there is no "good age" for it, but does anyone have any opinions as to what point they are best able it emotionally?

...I meant to say "...best able to cope with it emotionally?"...

Answer 1

no age but it isnt best to keep them in a family where the love is gone, where the parents argue, where their is tension, just make sure if both parents r fit to be parents to make sure they get equal time with each parent n make sure neither of u are talkin ill of the other. its not the childrens problem its urs so keep it that way. make decisions together dont argue infront of them. make sure when they need disapline they get it (if its something that needs both parents disapline make sure both are involved n on the same page) dont try to out do the otha parent..buyin a kids love is just goin to make things worse

Answer 2

Why people believe getting a divorce when the kids are teenagers is best is beyond me. All you do is prolong the pain, and then too, the kid realizes that their parents were really lying to them the whole time and that's much worse to deal with.
There is never a good age because like others have said there are problems at all stages, but if you do it when they are younger your kids will begin to adapt to the new structure and not think much of the transition.

I'm a child of divorce and I can tell you that divorce is hard, but a bad marriage is a lot worse.

It's taken me so long to get over my parents bad marriage and all the hell it caused me and my siblings. I was 10 when they divorced and adjusted fine, because, truth be told, they never had much of a relationship in the first place and their marriage made my life miserable.

Answer 3

I was about 8 or 9 when my dad walked out on my mum.I handled it fine. But upon saying that due to dad starting work before I got out of and bed and coming home after I went to bed I never really knew my dad much at all. To try and answer your question probably 9 or 12 really depends. if the marriage is over then its over and staying for the sake of the kids wont do them much good either unhappy mum unhappy dad maybe arguments so on so Fourth is also not good for the children. I stayed with my husband for a extra 13 years so my kids would have a dad at home. For me though I now have a 5 year old but still considering leaving if only I could but I don't blame him or the children that I gave this man another 13 years of marriage and I also feel for my kids I made the right discussion for the children then but now for the 5 year old I will have to make it again I am not sure how long I can stay for this time. unless he gets help. All the best Good luck

Answer 4

Based on research it is typically hardest on children of school age and early teenage years (hardest at about 6 to 15), although of course as you said it is difficult at any age.

The theory is that school age children have more awareness of what is happening, adapt less easily than very young children, and have more complex self-esteem issues. Young teenage years of course is just a very difficult time when kids are struggling with their own identity and also struggling with their ideas toward relationships with the opposite sex, which is going to be affected by a break up of their parents and one parent (usually the father) leaving the home.

There do tend to be different problems typical at different ages, and often different problems for boys and for girls as well.

If you had to pick a "best" age, very young childhood would actually be best. They can also much more easily adapt to step-parents at that young age. But it may be too late for that in your case. The second best age would be to wait until they are about 25 or older (seriously) but that may not be an option either.

Should people stay together for the children? If the amount of conflict in the family will actually be less after the divorce, the divorce may actually help them in the long run. Living in a home full of conflict and/or dysfunctional emotions can be as bad for kids as divorce.

Ways to make divorce less damaging to kids:

Be honest with them about what is happening. Be honest that it is permanent.

Tell them (at a level they can understand) the reasons for the divorce, and make sure they know it is not their fault.

Let children talk openly about their feelings, whether anger, sadness, worry, etc.

Do not fight in front of the kids. Also, be as respectful as you possibly can toward your ex. That person is still your child's parent. This entails being a mature grown up, and putting your child's well-being ahead of your anger and resentment.

NEVER try to get your kids to "take sides" or try to draw them into your conflicts with your spouse/ex. This is a horrible thing to do to a child of any age.

NEVER bad-mouth your spouse/ex in front of the kids. No matter how bad they are, that person is still their parent.

Try not to have other big changes while the divorce is happening. For example, if possible keep the kids in the same house, same school, etc. More change = more stress. This is really important advice many overlook.

Pay child support if needed. They are your children. It is a responsibility and a priveledge to support them.

Remember that kids need more than money. They need your time and involvement.

Get some support for yourself! You need support from friends, a support group, etc. and this will help keep you from dumping on the kids and also help you be a better parent during a trying time.

Expect that you and the children will take about one to two years to "recover." Even then children may have long-term issues related to the divorce, but with support and good consistent parenting they are resilient and are usually OK in the long run.

Answer 5

Never!......They will never get over it emotionally and they will take it into there own marriage as 'baggage' and probably for the rest of their lives. If they do get over it, they will have had to learn how to be extremely spiritual and understanding, and so will you!
This is a terrible thing for a child to tackle at any age. it should not really happen.
If you really want to know an age then around 1 year to 18 months. The child hardly knows who their parents are at this age. Any later is always disaster.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.....but I've been through it.

Answer 6

My children were 4, 6 and 11 when my ex and I split. I don't really think there is an age they are better able to deal with it instead I think it is more how the parents deal with it. If the parents will put the children first and not put them in the middle of their fight then children of all ages can deal with it better. If you have a child and are constantly fighting around that child and putting them in the middle they are never going to deal with it.

Answer 7

I was four years old when my parents split. It efected me until I was like 10. I felt like I didn't have a normal family. I know it can bug you from when your 3 till your 50, it doesn't matter. Everyone loves the fact that there parents are together and to see them split hurts at all ages. When you split make sure you do it for a good reason because after your kids get used to it, and it's hard to get used to parents together again.

Answer 8

kids are resilient....they can handle it at any age, as long as there is a mutual understanding between the parents....they do need to know that both of you love them and that they are not the cause of the breakup......generally speaking, if there is tension in the household with both of you there, then that's harder on them than the divorce. They can handle being with each parent separately without the tension of the two of you together..... Good Luck!

Answer 9

ok well i think that divorce is bad no matter how old they are but the longer you stay there and not happy they will catch on. they will understand when they get older. so if your unhappy then get a divorce. dont stay just for the kids. the kids will see them again that what joint custody is for and visitation.just dont be a bad parent and tell them thier mommy or daddy is a bad person that is more or less for them to decide unless they really are bad! well good luck to you.

Answer 10

14 to 17.