can you please help me think of some funny things to say in class?

Question

things such as: i was born in a jungle or i was a babby once.

Answer 1

I'm a teacher, and to be honest with you, the kids that make me laugh are the ones who are just natural all the time and don't "try" to be funny by planning out their jokes. Besides, everyone picks up on the fact that they were rehearsed and they usually just don't "fit" with the flow of the class....which can be annoying.

But, here was a funny thing a student said to me this year....he was always one of the first kids in class and would say "what's up?" etc.

So this one day he walks in and goes,
"Yeah....my favorite class..."
And I was like, "Oh, you're so sweet!"
and then he continues with,
"...starts in an hour!"

I starting laughing and then shared it with everyone once the whole class came in.

Have fun!

Answer 2

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


Hope that you would like it

Answer 3

I hope you mean one-liners, but banter is so much more rewarding. Meaning, that you go off on one thing someone says, usually it's relevant.

It also depends on the class and context. But this one is funny for a history class if you study WWII. "So what you're saying is Hitler was a self-hating Jew?" (I.E. Hitler's aunt was Jewish, so he was at least part Jewish)

Or! In English class have fun with types of words. "I'd like to verb your noun when there are no articles through all prepositions until we hit that interjection."

Answer 4

The classroom is no place to be funny. Get serious about your education or you will end up with a low level job pushing a broom or making fast food. Save the humor for after class.

Answer 5

A truly funny person would come up with his remarks on the spot. Rehearsed or prepared comments are often poorly timed and don't fit the context. Besides I'm not sharing my good stuff with you.

Answer 6

Why do you feel the need to disrupt your class? You only get to go to elementary and jr. high once, so use it as a learning experiance, and worrie about being funny some other time. ☺

Answer 7

Don't say derail that many times. Don't say anything funny unless its appropriate. You don't want to embarrass yourself in front of everybody especially if the teacher does not have a sense of humour.

Answer 8

You're an idiot. The funniest things are thought of on the spur of the moment, having to plan them in advance just proves you're a witless moron. Grow up.

Answer 9

I just read your suggestions on how to overcome airplane-anxiety - you sure don't need help in coming up with funny lines!!!
I haven't been laughing like that in a long time!

Answer 10

How about You just concentrate on the class and not worry about being funny?