My husband got drunk and went crazy the other day. he started hitting me about 6 times and the head. then he hit my dad, finely we called cops and he in jail. Am i crazy for missing him, Am i crazy for still loveing him.
2006-08-05 11:27:54 · 19 answers · asked by amanda_ploof 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i got a 4 month old baby boy
2006-08-05 11:43:35 · update #1
You are not crazy for missing or loving him, but you need to realize that you are in danger and need to get out of there before you are hurt more seriously!!
A man who is violent under any circumstances will do it again in a heartbeat. He may say, "Oh, I'm so sorry babe, I was drunk...I won't do it again." But...he will.
Please, please get away. If he wants to change because he loves and misses you, then he will. You can't make him change. But you can protect yourself. Think about any children you might have in the future (hope you don't have any yet!). A violent home is unsafe and not emotionally healthy for children.
I know this from past experience. Good luck, and be safe.
2006-08-05 11:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No your not crazy. You would only be crazy if this is an ongoing situation. A one time thing, though very bad, is not an absolute predictor about the future. If there has been a second incident, that is another story. If so, I think you are just mourning the loss of the sanctity of your marriage and wishing things were different than they are and realizing that you have to make a change. If it is a first, and you want him back you have to put rules into your relationship. Drinking has to be limited....etc. Good luck. Hope it works out well for all of you.
2006-08-05 18:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by r0cky74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not crazy. This person has become a habit to you and he fulfills something within you. HOWEVER, you need to get away from him and get some help for yourself.
You are not the exception, a man who beats on women is a very sick, insecure, controlling man who thinks all he needs to do is say 'sorry', kiss and make up.
It will not get better....only worse. There are too many women who have been killed or maimed for life, physically and emotionally to tolerate this.
Make no mistake about this: Your child will grow up insecure, a nervous wreck and quite like violent him/herself or pick a lover that will in turn abuse them.
Children learn what they live and you are the teacher. You have a responsible to your child even if you do not care enough about yourself to get out.
That man is bad news and you will never have a good relationship. Now is the time to decide, get out or destroy yourself and your child and any future children born into that chaos.
Be courageous!
2006-08-05 19:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi 4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not crazy. He's been in your life a long time and it's hard to just let him go. If it was me his butt would have died that night. If you take him back you should only do so after he has gone through AA, anger management and marriage counseling. YOU should go through therapy since you were abused. The abuse started long before he ever raised a fist to you. His hand was just the physical form of abuse. You should also take defense classes so you can lay him out the next time he raises his hand to you. And he will hit you again so best be prepared. I'm not saying get a gun, even though I'm not against them. I just think in these types of situations if you take him back he could use it on you. The likely hood of you getting to a gun in time would be slim if he got close enough to hit you again.
2006-08-05 19:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by lady01love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are crazy drunk is no excuse for his actions no matter what the situation was...This is not a life to be living to be treated like that...It is normal to be mad life is hard sometimes but hitting someone in the head is a different story..I think you should leave him there and press charges and make him pay..Maybe he will think about it next time..
You take care of the one and mighty be happy and smile!!
2006-08-05 18:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself what is real love? If you think it is licks upside your head, you are highly mistaken. You haven't even thought about getting your father out of this abusive situation or your child. This can't be the first abusive thing he has done. You see, abuse starts verbally and emotionally. Then when you accept it on that level it rises to what you have received. If you decide to stay it will only get worse. You both need counseling. Good Luck!
2006-08-05 19:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by LadyJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your aren't crazy for either of your questions that you asked.
You don't know anything different then him, you have a baby and you think I can't do this alone.
If you take him back tell him no more drinking and have him get abuse counseling.
You don't want your son growing up thinking it is okay to hit women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if your husband won't go leave him.
Take it from a child who watched her mom get the crap beat out of her all the time it isn't worth it!!!
You will screw your son's head up. I had to take conseling for 2 years to straighten up my life.
My mom wouldn't leave my dad. He never got better from his conseling because he never tried to let them help him. And If your husband isn't willing to take that step and change then leave him right away and get your son out of that inviroment.
16 years of beatings and 5 hairline fractures in her spine that almost paralized my mom for life is what it took before she left my dad!!
She thought what you are thinking right now. And her advice to me years later was love your children more than your husband you can replace your husband not your children.
She aplogizes to me and my sister all the time for what she made us live through with our dad.
And said if she had it to do over again she would have left him long before it ever got that bad.
Please love your son more than your husband and put his needs before your own. He can't walk away from the violence you can!
2006-08-05 20:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy for missing him and loving him, however, you are in need of serious counseling to learn to deal with your feelings so that you don't go back into a relationship with him.
You must not live with him again.
Get involved in Al Anon immediately and get professional counseling. You cannot allow yourself to enable his bad behavior by having him back in your house or your life unless he is willing to get help and prove over a period of sober months that he is going to leave the bottle and abuse behind.
2006-08-05 18:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some bad news for you. Most women who keep coming back to a man after he beats them, for some unknown reason, feel they deserve it. These are usually women who have a very low self esteem.
You need to get help. Not for him but for you. Way to many times the end is not good if you do not do something to get him out of your life. You must come to understand you do not deserve that kind of treatment. If you let him come back, you will be beat up again. IT WILL HAPPEN. So you have to decide for yourself......what do you want out of a relationship.
Way to many women who have been in your position have ended up dead or very seriously hurt before they finally wake up.
Don't let this happen to you.
Understand this.....getting drunk only releases our inhibitions and our true self comes out. Do you want to live with his true self?
Get help for you now. Do not wait another day.
2006-08-05 19:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amanda yes you are crazy for loving him unless the hits to your head affected you! You should demand he gets help because the next time...what next time?
2006-08-05 18:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by johnnybgoodpromise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋