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my husband just does things too make me angry, he never listens to what I have to say its always him him and him. I no I got myself in this situation, im not feeling sorry for myself, but I feel reasured that atleast my friends (all you kind people) at yahoo answers will help me calm down . thank you!!

2006-08-05 10:12:46 · 11 answers · asked by sweetlikehoney_73 5 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

Maybe he is narcisstic....he does not see beyond his own perspective/feels "entitled", etc.
Was he like this before you married? if he was, did you confuse it with confidence? Did you think that you could change him?
He is being spiteful if he is deliberately trying to cause you pain.
THE WAY PEOPLE TREAT OTHERS IS A REFLECTION OF HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES. He has control/self esteem/inadequacy issues.
It's not your fault. It is his problem. You are just in the way, and your persence condones his actions. You are enabling him to avoid the problem, just by being there and putting up with it.
You need a spearation....some distance. Maybe not a full on divorce, but you need to get out of his way for a bit.
If he wants to avoid a divorce, and to preserve the marriage, he will commit to individual counseling, then joint marital counseling.
If he will not do this willingly, then he has no desire to own any responsibility, and he needs to be left alone to stew in his own misery.
You deserve better. You probably feel ripped off, the old bait and switch...."hey, I didn't sign up for THIS" when you married him.
If the marriage is to be saved, both people need to make effort, with little convincing. Otherwise, it is wasting your life on trying to put gas into a wercked car.
Your marriage is on fire. You can either put out the fire (you need his help) or you can save yourself and get out.

2006-08-05 10:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 5 0

Your husband the only one? Really!

All men honey! They are all self centered.

My sister and at least 3 of my friends and I all have had the same problem with our husbands at one point and time.

But you can make yourself clear with him as I did my husband.

When you want to do something do it wither he wants you to or not. He isn't your boss or your parent and you have the right to do what you want. I'm sure he does what he wants. You are equals.

Go get your hair done , buy a new outfit, gussy your self up. Gain some Independence. Let him see what he is missing out on!!!!!!

Don't cave enjoy watching him squirm for awhile. And in a little while see how quick his attitude changes.

It worked with mine. I got my hair done, bought new clothes, and became independent. I told him things were gonna change and he would no longer control who I was or change who I was.

I started going out with my friends more. He noticed that my whole life didn't resolve around him and that I didn't need him to survive. He realized I was still beautiful and how much he loved me when he thought he might loose me.

That's when he changed and realized that he wasn't the only one who matter. He also learned to finally make me his equal.

Or marriage is now the best it has ever been because he learned not to be so self centered.

Just give it a try and see if it works for you. If not and he doesn't change atleast you can say you did everything you could do to tryin save your marriage and make him see you for who you really are.

I hope that this helps cheer you up some. Just tryin remember you aren't the only one out there with a self centered man!!!

2006-08-05 11:50:22 · answer #2 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0 0

Just like beauty Happiness comes from within. It sounds like you and your husband got married a little too immature and now you both don't know how to live with one another. If you both are willing to try counseling I'd suggest just that. You need a place to vent your anger at the right person and your husband needs to figure out why he likes to make the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with miserabloe. Good Luck

2006-08-05 10:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0 0

We cannot make you happy.........only you can do that for yourself. You need to figure out why you remain in a marriage where you are miserable. Why you choose to be ingored by your husband. Why he does not listen to you. Maybe neither of you communicate well.........and that would make it hard to understand the other. Counseling would be beneficial. Im not saying to dump your husband, but to examine why you allow yourself to be treated in a negative manner.

2006-08-05 10:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by kms40719 2 · 0 0

hi once you're a smooth person who's commonplace on your emotions to be in each and every single position and no its not "melancholy". people prefer to seem to throw that note round a lot now a days, its hormones. that's completely commonplace, in case you weren't in each and every single position, then i should be frightened. assistance to cheer up is locate an interest you take excitement in doing & concentration on that, for me in my opinion, its observing a daunting action picture, comedy coach or snuggling up & reading a e book. desire I helped you. -Latina <3

2016-10-15 11:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Counseling sounds like a great idea!
A marriage is always worth saving!

2006-08-05 10:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Find something that you enjoy doing, as a hobby, or means of using your time, doing what makes you happy. If nothing else, your attention will not be on him, it will be on you. Talk to friends, on phone, or here, sew, knit, just something to get your mind off him.......watch a comedy movie.....Laugh! It will do you good!!

2006-08-05 10:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0 0

His conversation (and your's too) is always gonna be about him...so...cheer yourself up by getting out of the situation.
Divorce the self-centered jacka** and rescue your peace of mind!

2006-08-05 10:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need more than we can provide. You NEED counseling and support. He needs counseling too. You must ask yourself if the marriage is worth saving. And it's "I know I got myself into...." not "I no I got myself into..."

2006-08-05 10:17:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

go to www. midlofewivesclub.com and get some real questions for your answers. there are women going through the same as you, your not alone.

2006-08-05 11:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by crafty 2 · 0 0

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